Regurgitated Ideas from Killer Bootlegs Available Now

    I hate puking more than anything in life.  Anytime I throw up I am praying for sweet death to come and take me.  Whenever I'm feeling a little nauseous my wife will tell me to throw up so I feel better,  but the thought of bending over the toilet and making that primal scream with processed food is too much for me to even think about.  

    I don't know how Killer Bootlegs feels about blowing chunks all over his bathroom tile, but I do know how he feels about Star Wars bootleg characters.  There's old Han Solo, suspended not in carbonite, but in someone's Big Mac that didn't quite sit well.  It's kinda funny and kinda stomach churning all at once, which is a sign of success in my book.  He's available now at http://killerbootlegs.storenvy.com/. 

Back in Black Skullhead Dunny from Huck Gee

    Isn't the term "skullhead" a bit redundant?  A skull can only be a head.  No one will confuse it with your skullfoot, or your skullbutt.  Skull need not be more specific than it already is.  I used to work at a clothing store and people would come in asking if we had shirts with "skullheads" on them and it would irritate me to no end.  Most of the irritation came from actually having to wait on people, but the skullhead thing bugged me too.

    No matter my objection to the word, Kidrobot and Huck Gee have indeed titled this the Skullhead Dunny.  I am willing to overlook my linguistic concerns in the face of such a cool figure.  I have the white one they released a few years ago and almost had to beat a man to death to get it.  The story actually goes I had already bought it and someone tried to buy it off of me as we were leaving the store.  I just wanted it to sound much more dramatic than it actually was.

    This 8 inch Dunny will retail at the very affordable price of $59.99 when it's released on March 20th.  For those keeping score at home this is the second 8 inch Dunny in a row from Huck.  That dude must know somebody.  

The Last Knight from Andrew Bell

    I'm not much of a board game person.  Shocking, I know, that I wouldn't want to gather a bunch of people together and play Scrabble til the sun came up.  Board games are too much commitment to being around other people.  Say you sit down to a game of Monopoly with your friends.  You know that game takes forever and by hour four you just want these people out of your house.  But you've signed some unwritten pact to see this game through so you are chained to them like a prison sentence when all you wanna do is watch Monday Night Raw and eat cookies until the pain stops.  But you can't cause they're gonna want cookies too, and if you know anything about emotional eating you know that there are not enough cookies to make the pain stop and to share.  Do you see this spiral of horror you have set in motion all because of a seemingly innocent board game?

   Chess is no better because you could each be down to your last man and just chase each other around the board for hours.  That's what always happened to me until I would knock everything in the floor and challenge my opponent to a fist fight to settle our impasse.

    Andrew Bell made this and it looks cool.  That's a fact and is therefore not up for debate.  What is also a fact is that he made 500 of them and they will be unleashed upon this world this Saturday, May 15th, for $65 at your favorite places to buy fancy toys.  I like it, but I'm also a sucker for a good skull, be it plastic or otherwise.  

GODAI Guardians Kaiju USB Figure Kickstarter Campaign

    Think about the crazy nonsense you have on your computer.  Now consider what people would think if you up and croaked and they had nothing but time to look through said computer and discover what a little deviant you were.  My laptop is filled with things about how my wife is trying to kill me, so if I ever turn up dead under suspicious circumstances she'll be the prime suspect.  It's like the ultimate final joke you can play on a loved one really.  

    "Oh, you laughed hysterically when you replaced all the music on the iPod with Justin Bieber? Well now you're on trial for my murder."  

     She might not think it's so bad though, because she really likes Law & Order.  

    But in all seriousness, there's stuff you don't necessarily want on your computer in case it gets stolen. Like your tax documents, or those weird videos you download from that server in Russia. You gotta keep that stuff secure, and what better way to do it then on a little Kaiju USB figure.

    There's a Kickstarter campaign going on to bring these little dudes to life.  If you like the idea of your important information being stored in the skull of a cute little monster, then you need to check out the site here and help get this project funded.  

Future Time Suck of the Week: Batman Arkham Knight

Ooooooooooh good Lord don't expect to hear from me the week this game comes out!!!!!!!!!!!

Micro MADL 3D Prints from MAD Available Now!

    3D printing blows my mind and it seems like everyday someone is finding a new use for it.  The other day I read about this thing they can put around your heart and make it beat forever.  We're THIS CLOSE to technology advancing so far that it causes the zombie apocalypse and all those people with bunkers and 20 years worth of canned goods in their backyards are actually seen as being reasonable.  

    But we're not here to talk about advances in medicine or preparing for the end times; we're here to talk about toys.  Thankfully some people are still using their 3D printers for sensible means, like producing little plastic figures.  MAD has shrunk down his famous MADL figure and has been working his printer overtime to produce these dudes.  Each toy is only 35mm tall and comes bagged with a signed header card.  You can own a piece of the future for only $15 by visiting http://www.madtoystore.com/.  

Autopsy Zombie Staple Baby Custom Show at Toy Art Gallery

    There are many moments I can look back on and pinpoint as those in which I knew I would marry my wife Sharon.  Like the fact that one of our first dates was spent gawking at the medical specimens that fill the Mutter Museum.  We fell in love amongst the wax models of syphilis and the eerie, cheshire grins of fetal skeletons.  But one thing I've never been a big fan of are the wet specimens; those floppy bits of tissue suspended in preserving solution.  I just imagine them breaking open and the only recourse being to burn everything that the gross liquid touches.  This goes double for the weird babies in jars, who sometimes bother me and other times I can look at with interest.  It really just depends on the mood I'm in when we happen to be at the museum.  

    I feel much the same about these Autopsy Babies from Miscreation Toys.  Some days they look interesting, others I just want to yell "KILL IT WITH FIRE".  Bizarre wouldn't even begin to describe them.  But if you're looking for a good time and the idea of plastic corpses tickles your fancy then may I suggest a trip to Toy Art Gallery this Saturday (March 8th) for their custom show featuring these little rotten tots.  The opening reception is from 7-10pm.