Bad Ass: Mecha Edition from Kronk x Pobber Toys

    I just watched Pacific Rim the other day and I really enjoyed it.  Lots of good action, the CGI was impressive, and I didn't fall asleep even once.  The one thing about it that was really freaky was that the kaiju would take these massive poops and entire cities would be contaminated.  That was the real threat if you ask me.  Sure they may stomp you to death, or spit acid all over your apartment building, but who wants to die from a giant turd?  And how in the hell are you going to clean something up the size of Madison Square Garden when everyone is out building a stupid fence trying to keep these dudes out?  The answer, my friends, is in front of us.

    Not only would giant robot monkeys be pretty awesome at clobbering otherworldly monsters, but they are world class poo throwers.  I've been to the zoo, I've seen it.  So the monkeys could use the kaiju's own waste material against it like some bacteria-ridden snow ball fight.  Ok, the more I've thought about this the more I realize this is a gross and terrible idea.  Forget I said anything.  

    Kronk x Pobber Toys will be unleashing their own mecha monkey this Friday.  And this is one giant piece of plastic.  You might have to reinforce your toy shelf so he doesn't collapse it.  So first make a trip to the Home Depot and get some extra shelf brackets, then log onto www.pobber.com and get yourself one of these.   

A Clockwork Carrot: Supervillain Edition from Frank Kozik x Blackbook Toys

    Why so serious?  I usually take giant bunnies who carry bloody knives and crowbars pretty seriously.  Something just doesn't seem pure about their intentions.  And giant bunnies don't even need weapons soaked in their victim's genetic makeup to be freaky.  Most of those dudes at the mall that want you to sit on their lap for Easter photos are pretty freakish looking.  They are instantly believable as remorseless killers.  Kinda like clowns, or politicians.  But then you dress one up as Batman's arch nemesis and you give him some toys to play with and there is no doubt that this bunny has more than chocolate eggs on his mind.

    Speaking of Batman, have you seen the picture of Ben Affleck all dressed up in his armor?  I'm still holding onto hope that they were just kidding about him being Batman and secretly Christian Bale is still the guy.  But then I think that a Batman/Superman crossover is gonna be dumb anyway, so who cares if Ben Affleck is really the Dark Knight?  No, I still care and it still saddens me.  Moving on.

    Ok, so these things go on sale Friday, May 16th at midnight in Tokyo.  That means if you live in LA, this killer bunny clown from Frank Kozik x Blackbook Toy will be available to you May 15th at 7am, 10am for those of you in New York, and 3pm in the UK.  I know it's kinda confusing, but if you want one you gotta be prepared and I'll help you as much as I can.  Just don't ask me for money, cause I don't want to have to laugh at you.  

Get yours here: http://www.blackbooktoy.com/

  

Resin Bobcat Skulls from DuBose Art x NoveltyHaus

    I am pretty sure the kittens we rescued back in November are some type of wild hybrid cats.  My theory stems from the fact that the male kitten was neutered in April and has actually gotten crazier.  He literally bounces off of the walls as he races around the house and only sleeps for maybe 10 minutes at a time.  The actual day of his surgery we were told that they would both be groggy and just want to rest, but as soon as he gets home it's like Monday Night Raw in our living room.  We either have a zoo creature on our hands or some sort of otherworldly entity has entered our cat's body to realize his plan of world domination.  

"There is no Jorah, there is only Zuul!!!"

    Rather than getting your kittens from the woods you might want to start out with something easier to manage, like a resin bobcat skull from DuBose Art and my favorite store in Baltimore, NoveltyHaus.  What you will miss out on in snuggle time you will gain back in savings on vet trips and poop sand.  And it glows in the dark!!!  Snag one of these impressive specimens this Friday, May 16th, at 5pm Eastern time from http://www.noveltyhaus.com/.  

    You should get some real kitties too in case you don't have any.  Or if you do have some get a few more.  They make life much more interesting.  

WWR Evol Darwin Rothchild from 3A Available Now!!!

    This guy looks as if he's had a bad day.  He also looks as if he's searching for a way to express his feelings about said bad day.  I think if I saw him I would try not to make eye contact and hope that is enough for him not to shoot you in the face.  Darwin Rothchild is done taking your crap.  

    Why is no one making films about the characters of the 3A universe?  This dude looks like the perfect anti-hero that would make you feel sort of guilty when you root for him.  If I knew anyone that could make it happen I'd be all over it.  You could preorder him today though and make your own stop-motion film.  Head over to http://www.bambalandstore.com/ while they're still available and then take the time to learn the fine art of motion capture to produce your own blockbuster.  Or you could just put him on your shelf and be impressed by your awesome taste.  That works too.  

Norse Mythology Teething Toys from Helles Teeth

    By now you've probably figured out that baby toys are pretty far removed from the stuff I normally talk about.  In fact,  I'm not sure anyone under the age of 18 or without a healthy dose of mental illness should be reading this site.  Just kidding, I'm delightful.  I get emails all the time about different products that people want me to write about.  Most of them are from people who have obviously never looked at my site based on the stuff they sent me.  And while teething toys are really way out there, they actually contacted me on purpose!  I guess my name helped a bit, as these are based on three prominent figures in Norse mythology.  Anything that helps to keep those old stories alive for a new generation of people I'm all for, and really these things are pretty cool and I would buy every one of them if I had a kid.  

    You pretty much have zero chance of raising a child that will turn out lame if they start out chewing on Thor's hammer.  There's also one featuring Odin's horse Sleipnir, and the Midgard Serpent that your little one can wage their own Ragnarok on.  In order for these to become real products your help is needed.  There is a Kickstarter page that is very close to being funded and you can help it reach it's goal by clicking here.  Do it for the glory of Asgard!!!!!!!

She Predator Premium Format Figure from Sideshow Collectibles

    I can honestly say I had no idea anything like this was going on in the Predator universe.  I mean, I guess baby Predators had to come from somewhere.  I still have no idea how this semi-naked huntress figures into things, but I'm not mad about it.  The entirety of the internet is based on the two C's:  cats and cleavage, and while I don't notice and feline critters roaming around, this figure has an ample amount of the latter.  I can here the collective rejoicing of fan boys everywhere as they realize they can preorder this premium format figure from Sideshow Collectibles on May 15th.  If you're going to be hunted and killed as a trophy, it would be much better to have her do it than one of her gross faced counterparts.  At least you can die with a smile on your face.  

Spring Ver. 1 Ammonaito from Mechavirus Available Now!!!!

    Did you see that new video of those dudes in a rubber boat trying to film a great white shark when the thing decides to EAT THEIR BOAT?  Further, documented proof, that the sea is trying to kill us.  We've been placated by the ocean's propaganda films (like Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid) to believe that everything is all singing and dancing down there.  But I know the truth.  I know that we are nothing but tasty morsels just out of their reach.

    Look at these guys.  I'm not sure whether they want to be friends our want to make houses out of our skulls.  They are nice to look at though, and thankfully made of plastic unlike their more murderous underwater kin folk.  You can add one of these Ammonaito figures from Mechavirus to your collection this very instant.  No, seriously, they just went on sale and I was refreshing the website to make sure they didn't sell out before I finished this post. Go now to http://www.mechavirus.bigcartel.com/ before they sell out.