Eric Smith Launches Project: Vulkira on Kickstarter

    When is the government gonna start spending our tax dollars wisely and build one of these suckers for real?  You have a couple of these stationed along the coastlines and you will have effectively stopped conflicts before they even start.  Who is gonna pick a fight with the United States when we can just say "oh, I'm sorry, would you like me to send my 20-story tall war robot over there to talk to you about that"?  And not only that, but you'll create tons of jobs just building them, and you could station them in places so they become tourist attractions, and you could make souvenirs that everyone would want, and maybe at-home security system models.  I have single handedly created a billion dollar industry just this second while sitting here in my underwear.  Ok, you didn't need to know that last part, but it does attest to how effortlessly I create billion dollar industries.  

    Eric Smith has inspired me to overhaul our nation's defense department with Project: Vulkira.  His 8 inch tall foe of monsters everywhere just launched on Kickstarter right now where it needs your help to become reality.  This toy is going to be produced by my friends over at Unbox Industries, so you know it's not gonna suck, and it really doesn't need much money to get the ball rolling.  Head over to this link and check out all the sweet rewards you can get for helping to fund this project.  And the toy itself is really affordable at only $60 (shipped in the US), considering it's size,  the fact that it's articulated at 3 points, and it comes with removable fists, drill, and missile launcher.  That's a lot of value, son!   You know you get paid this week, so get to it!

Large Albino Heathrows from Frank Kozik on Sale Today!!!

    I have never been tan a day in my life.  It's scientifically proven ya know.  I'll get a sunburn, then it will peel off and I'll be paler than I was before.  Which is weird when you live in New Jersey, where so many folks look like old footballs that had been set on fire.  I used to work with a girl who was a big fan of bronzer and you could always tell where she had been because there would be little tan fingerprints all over.  She would have been a pretty terrible criminal.  

    While I am destined to have the skin tone of a fresh corpse, ol Heathrow here has taken on the complexion of those weird cave critters that never see the light of day.  You could start up your own curiosity show with one of these and hope that Kozik makes a wolf boy and a two headed version in the near future.  That could be a nice part time job.  

    These go on sale today at noon Pacific time over at www.frankkozik.net.  

Aura Glowing Head from Colin Christian

     Colin Christian makes some of the most amazing sculptures you will ever see in your life.  His intergalactic females have been featured in art shows around the world, and while I would like nothing more than to own one for myself, I'm a little short on funds.  But Colin's a good dude who is nice enough to make things that anyone can own even while they're saving up for one of his huge pieces.  Check out this Aura glowing head for example.  This beauty is 10 and 1/2 inches tall and features a color changing LED light behind translucent resin.  Dim the lights, throw on some "Dark Side of the Moon", and think about how you're well on your way to being a serious art collector.  Only 50 of them were made and they come signed and numbered for only $275.  Pick one up for yourself at http://www.colinchristian.com/.

WWE Sofubi Figures from Medicom

    How come nobody told me about these?  You know I love my wrasslin', and you know I love Japanese toys, so I'm kinda disappointed I wasn't bombarded with emails.  It's ok, I forgive you all.  Everything I have attempted to find out about these has been in a language other than English, which is unfortunate, cause it's the only one I know.  I did take French for a few years in high school but I only did that because I figured all of the cute girls would be there.  I always was too self conscious to really get do the accent or to talk to any of the girls, so the classes were a total bust.  The idea behind taking French was sound though, and I stand behind it.  

   What I've been able to gather is that both of these are officially licensed by WWE, made by Medicom, and available now for about $80 each in America money.  If you want to order one, and your Japanese is as none existent as mine, check out this link here, as it allows you to translate the page into English.  These ship in December of this year.  

Tenacious Toys Exclusive "Purple Haze" Daigomi from Guumon

    Driving into Atlantic City you will pass by a giant landfill that has a distinct smell of monster farts.  You will then smell it again after you've lost all of your money, signed over the title of your car to a loan shark, and are forced to walk back up the expressway in an attempt to hitch hike home.  It tried to warn you, that your get rich quick scheme involving your retirement fun and a blackjack table was a stinker.  Afterwards it's just rubbing it in, a noxious "I told you so" from old baby diapers and rotting Chinese food.  Luckily I am smart enough to live far enough away from it that I have not become used to the smell, but anytime I drive by it I'm expecting the odor is actually coming from the formation of a gigantic monster beneath the surface, coming to wreak havoc on us for our wasteful ways.  Daigomi is our reckoning, and you're gonna wish you recycled your cans now, punk!

   I can't say enough nice things about this figure.  Each time I see one I notice some new little detail worked into the design, with different paint schemes revealing new secrets.  Guumon has painted up a grand total of 6 of these figures in the "Purple Haze" color way, and they are exclusives to the good folks of Tenacious Toys.  There's even a chase version that involves a bit more gold near the head.  These will be available via a lottery system that will begin today.  Here is what you have to do for a chance to own one of these beauties:

To enter the Lottery, email us at tenacioustoys at gmail and include this information: Title the email with "Purple Haze Daigomi" and in the body of the email please include this info: Full name and address, plus paypal account username. Lottery closes on Friday. Winners will be chosen at random, only the winners will be contacted....one piece per household. Each of the 6 pieces will be $150+shipping. We will give you ship options & prices.

    May the toy gods be forever in your favor, or something.  

Super Deformed Voltron from Toynami

    Time for a nostalgia trip.  I remember one Christmas when I was a kid, getting all of those die cast metal Voltron lions that combined to form the giant robot.  Each one of those suckers could have broken your toe if you dropped it and when you combined them all you had a lethal weapon of awesomeness.  Now I can't see anything like that ever being marketed to kids again, what with the threat of them actually toughening up and all.  Can't have that!   

   But for all of us that grew up with Voltron and lived through the emergency room visits for the broken bones it caused, we can relive our fun times with this new super deformed version.  I'm not even being a jerk calling him super deformed cause that's what it's marketed as.  He comes with a bunch of swords and faces and led lights and is partly made of die cast so you can crack the skull of the guy in the cubicle next to you who makes fun of your newest desk accessory.  He's available for preorder now by clicking on that Entertainment Earth button you see to your right.  

Bone Usir Dx from Splurrt x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Ok, I need this.  Like, really badly.  I was gonna start a campaign on that Go Fund Me website so I could raise enough cash to buy one, but then I felt kinda bad because there were people there with legitimate issues that could really use the help.  But I'm not above shameless begging on my own website, free of disasters or diseases that might make me feel like a bit of a heel.  Donate now, donate often, because like an otter to an ice cream sandwich:

   Now that I have made my impassioned plea, I shall tell you more about the object of my affections.  This, the greatest toy of this year, nay, this decade, is the Bone Usir DX.  Featuring the combined workings of Splurrt and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, this fine specimen will be available this Saturday at noon Eastern time in both of the versions you see above.  I don't know how much they'll be, but I do know that they will only be available from http://splurrt.bigcartel.com/.