Muskolator Preorder from Goodleg Toys

  Bro, do you even lift?  I know I don't.  I lift the remote to turn the channel on the tv, but I don't think I'm gonna get too ripped doing that.  But on the bright side, if my arms don't get huge, I won't have to buy new shirts!!!  See, it's not just laziness, it makes perfect economic sense as well.   I would like to be able to instill fear into people just by walking into a room, but sometimes you can't live all of your dreams.  

    Muskolator isn't about that chill lifestyle.  He's about downing the 'roids, getting ripped, and beating up punks that don't call each other "bro".  Check out that little guy on his left fist?  He's got 3-D glasses on so he can get all the gory details as he's pounding your face meat into a pudding.  Who else but Goodleg Toys could come up with such a monstrosity?  No one, it was a rhetorical question.  You can preorder one of these suckers right this instant in two different versions.  You can order him bagged for $85, or you can order him carded with some sweet artwork for $105.  Make it happen at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com/.  

Toy Art Gallery's 5th Anniversary Show Featuring Vertebrata

    Toy Art Gallery is celebrating their 5th Anniversary this Saturday by inviting a lot of really weird looking chicks to come and hang out with their friends and customers.  No, I don't mean girls from some backwoods strip club (I pass by three on the way to work and it doesn't get any more sketchy than hillbilly strip clubs) I'm talking about Vertebrata.  The crazy brain child of Paul Kaiju and Blobpus has been customized by some of the most well known toy artists out there and they will be on display beginning with the opening reception on Saturday.  If you live in the Los Angeles area you should go and check it out, cause it will be more fun than laughing at people with botched plastic surgery.  

Two More NYCC Exclusives from myplasticheart

    New York Comic Con begins in less than a month and I have yet to see many announcements about exclusives.  Come on people, you're killing my ability to create an effective budget!  Thankfully myplasticheart is on the ball and here we have two more toys that you'll only be able to get at their booth.  Up first is Astronocchio from Dave Bondi.  These dudes are hand made with resin, stand 5 inches tall, are limited to 25 pieces, and will sell for $65 each.  

    This dude reminds me of a rogue olive.  Not that I've ever seen a rogue olive, but if one were to turn on you I imagine this is what it would look like.  This is of course Lou Pimentel's very popular Junior figure, and if I remember correctly they sell out of these every year.  So get there early, or find a good toy mule to smuggle you one.  Just be specific that you don't want him to use the same techniques one would apply to bringing drugs over the border.  You'll only make that mistake once.  $35 will get you one and Lou would be happy to sign it for you as he's always hanging around during the convention.  

Thor Series 2 Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    In Norse mythology, Thor rides around on a chariot that is drawn by two huge goats.  In my real life, I now drive around in a Hyundai Accent that makes me look like I'm gonna take the kids to tee ball practice.  Yesterday the wife and I bought our first ever car from an actual car dealership after our truck, which we had for nearly 12 years and put well over 200,000 miles on it, was determined to need repairs that far exceeded its worth.  She works close to home so she is now the proud commandI on my much longer commute in our new, and uber practical, little grey car.  To tell you the truth I was skeptical about it, but it's kinda like driving a go kart.  I just really don't want to pay for it, so I'm gonna need someone to throw me a telethon or something.  I've lived a long time without a car payment, and the amount of paper work they make you sign makes me think that I may have given them the right to come in and take my internal organs while I sleep.  Their tactics to make you sign your life away are pretty sneaky.  It was so hot I couldn't stop sweating and all they had to drink was coffee and it was like something that I'm sure the United Nations should probably look into.  All I know is that I was starving and willing to do just about anything to get a hamburger and some air conditioning.  They use the same tactics to get people to confess to murders.  

     Thor's friends never have to worry about down payments or interest rates or gap insurance.  And they get to sword fight and wear killer armor.  It's pretty much the best life ever, and while we can't live in Asgard our avoid the trappings of modern transportation, we can own these Pop! Vinyl figures from Funko and live vicariously through them.  Well, this October we can anyway, cause that's when they're released.  

    

    

NYCC Exclusive Sylvan Yeti from Gary Ham x Pobber Toys x myplasticheart

    It's that time of year again.  Time for me to start doing push-ups so I can fight my way through the crowds of New York Comic Con.  Every year it seems like they manage to pack more people into that building, making walking from one end of the con to the other a more physical sport than it needs to be.  It actually wouldn't be so bad if people didn't stop cosplayers in the middle of the walkway to pose for pictures.  Dude, I get that you NEEEEEEEEEED your photo with every girl dressed as Slave Leia because you're not one to pass up an exposed midriff, but just know that if you clog up the thoroughfare and I'm close enough, I'm gonna make the worst face you've ever seen in your life and ensure it is there forever to ruin your fantasy moment.  No matter who you show your pictures to, all they'll want to know is what's up with the angry looking bridge troll in the background.  I'm not just doing it because I'm a jerk, I'm doing it for all of those people that had to get way too close to sweaty strangers because you decided to create a traffic jam of epic nerd proportions.   One day they will build a statue of me outside of the Javits Center for my contributions to mankind and my dedication to keeping it moving.  

    But let's focus on what's really important about comic con, and that's the exclusive toys.  myplasticheart has been kind enough to get the ball rolling with Sylvan Yeti from Gary Ham and Pobber Toys.  This chilly fella is limited to 50 pieces and will be priced at $75 each and available at booth # 113.  

"Choices" from Jermaine Rogers is Available Now

    Mur-der Bun-ny! Mur-der Bun-ny!  This little guy seems to be in the midst of a very tough decision involving what to do with that knife.  Does he make himself a bangin' peanut butter and jelly sandwich?  Does he carve himself a primitive gnome out of wood to watch over his carrot patch?  Or does he straight murder some fool for disrespecting him?  Those red beady eyes make me think that someone's internal organs are gonna get some new ventilation holes.  But he remains undecided just what he's gonna do, as his name "Choices" reflects.  This newest figure from Jermaine Rogers stands 8 inches tall, is limited to 500 pieces, and will probably startle you have to death when you get up in the middle of the night to tinkle.  He's available now wherever you prefer to buy your fancy toys.  

Porcelain Skull "TJ" from NooN x K. Olin Tribu

    Wouldn't it be fun if all of our skulls had secret artwork on them depending on our personalities?  Then when we die they could all be placed in a great big museum for other people to come and look at and wonder what mysterious images their own skulls might contain.  And right here you have witnessed my greatest curse.  It's that I'm so great at coming up with ideas that cannot be replicated and sold for millions of dollars.  Just yesterday I created an idea for real life montages, just like the ones in the movies, that would help you get all of your work done in a fraction of the time it actually takes.  Got a big project coming up?  Let me sell you this montage and finish it in no time!  Wanna train for a heavy weight fight but have little to no experience?  Don't be silly, in the course of one of my montages you'll not only learn all the skills you need, but be the best at them!  I was ready to take this idea to Shark Tank and make Mark Cuban give me all his money, but alas, my product is but a figment of an over active imagination.  Why can't I invent something tangible that can be factory made and sold on early morning infomercials?  

    If you long for a finely decorated skull like I do, how about one of these beauties from K. Olin Tribu and NooN.  Made with the finest porcelain, each one is hand decorated with vintage motifs (my high school art teacher is so proud of me right now).  Only 50 were made and are available right now at http://www.artandtoys.com/.