"UnAmerican Activity" Custom Toy Show at Toy Art Gallery

    It's rare that I would ever open an email with a subject that involved the word "unAmerican" cause I am not trying to get on some government list or have the feds parked outside my house trying to see what I'm up to.  Not that I'm up to anything, but it just seems like a hassle.  I'd have to step up my style game if people are gonna be outside taking pictures all the time to go in my permanent file.  This is how their briefing on my case will play out:

 Boss:  "So, have you determined what the deal with this guy is?"

Cop:  "Sir, all we've been able to ascertain is that the house is filled with cats, and the subject looks FABULOUS!" (throws glitter in the air, much to the chagrin of his fellow officers)

    And that is how I will waste the taxpayer's money.  End scene.

      I opened that email anyway and instead of finding something that would send me to Guantanimo, I found out about a killer toy show this weekend.  It's called "UnAmerican Activity" because the artists involved aren't from America.  Oooooooooooooh, that makes much more sense than what I was worried about.  The show opens this Friday, November 14th, at Toy Art Gallery and features the work of Jon-Paul Kaiser, Doktor A, and Seymour Art.  Check out this little preview of what you can see live and in person:

"Center for the Performing Arts" Building Set from Citizen Brick

    Law school is expensive, and what's a girl to do when she wants to be a district attorney and the student loans just aren't covering it?  Citizen Brick is known for making the building block sets that a certain company would never even dream of creating.  Now you can make it rain on little plastic strippers without ever leaving the privacy of your own home!  Usually that costs a lot of money and you have to burn the pants you wear after you sober up and/or see the performer of your lap dance in natural lighting.  There's a reason these places are dark.  

    Impress your friends and forgo the feeling of needing a hazmat shower with your very own Center for the Performing Arts.  This thing is beyond amazing:  it comes with four exclusive figures, working led lights with batteries, and is made using the same techniques that the big guys use, so this thing is completely legit.  For $275 think of the endless fun you will have without having to worry about the strength of your immune system.  Seriously, have you ever been in a strip club that didn't resemble a third world country? Order yours now and it will ship out Black Friday.  

http://citizenbrick.com/

    

You're Gonna Need This. It's Shark Norris from Goodleg Toys

    Chuck Norris is already the most feared man on the planet, so what insane person would combine him with the most feared creature in the ocean thus creating mankind's doom?  Goodleg Toys of course!  They have totally disregarded the fact that Shark Norris is the most unstoppable killing machine ever dreamed of.  No tank can stop him from laying waste to his enemies, and he's gonna run out of those pretty quickly and therefore need new enemies, which is where the whole "humankind is screwed" thing comes from.  

    The carnage begins this Sunday, November 9th, when you can order your very own over at http://goodlegtoys.tumblr.com/.  

    

Marbled Shub Zeroth Release for Brian Ewing's "Scream With Me" Show

    Nothing as exciting as this has happened to the city of Chicago since the opening of the 1892 Columbian Exposition.  I wasn't there, but I heard everyone who wasn't turned into a medical school prop by H. H. Holmes had a wonderful time.  Tonight you can witness an event of comparable proportions (to the fair, not the murders) when Brian Ewing opens his solo show at Galerie F.  

    Those in attendance will have the chance to purchase the first ever marbled release of Shub Zeroth.  He is the perfect blend of dark gray and flesh colored vinyl, formed into a beast whose name shall never be spoken thrice, lest the underworld rise up through a tear in the temporal vortex of our minds, forever poisoning our very souls.  

Oooooooh, pretty.

Check out http://www.galerief.com/ for more info on the show.

New Trailer for The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    I really shouldn't be allowed to watch stuff like because I am so pumped up right now that I could sword fight all of my neighbors.  I wish I lived in Middle Earth.  But instead of killing Orcs and conquering lands I have to go and take out the trash and pay the car insurance bill.  Real life is quite dumb.  

Exclusive Releases from Suburban Vinyl at Designer Con

    Wait a second, are you telling me the guys from Suburban Vinyl are actually allowed to leave the state?  California is in for it as the Robs will be making the journey to set up at this weekend's Designer Con.  But they won't be showing up empty handed, as they will be bringing with them many quality wares for to peruse at booth # 515.  Let's get to it.  

    This Brent Nolasco figure looks like a pretty chill bro.  I'm sure he scares visitors to his swamp when they see him coming towards them, but all he really wants is someone to talk with about the new episode of American Horror Story.  He thinks they should drop the musical numbers and reign their wacky story telling in just a tad to make a more concise experience for the viewers.  He's got a lot of opinions about shows.  Only 3 of these in this color scheme exist in the world and you can be one of the proud owners for $120.  

    Look, I get it, you think that if you hang Starry Night on your living room wall that naked chicks are just gonna fall out of the wood work for how artistic and sensitive you are.  It's a load of crap, in fact women should beware of any man who tries to use this ploy, cause it means they don't like art enough to explore it beyond a picture that is offered by Capital One as an option for their first credit card.  And if it's hanging next to a Bob Marley poster or one of "beers of the world" you need to get out of that house immediately before you needs years of counseling to undo whats about to go down.  The Toy Viking is nothing if not a resource for keeping women safe.  

    Now if you're at someone's house and they have a picture like this one from Jon-Paul Kaiser, then you've got the green light to have all of their babies.  For $70 you can up your art game with one of these prints that are signed and numbered to 50.  

    If the power happens to go out in Pasadena don't worry, because they will have enough glow in the dark toys at booth 515 to light the bathroom up so you don't pee on yourself.  Like these Bio Buds from Manny Romero or these Primordial Ooze Munny heads from artisdead with little ninja turtles trapped inside.  They will be priced at $40 and $21 respectively. 

    Or get yourself a mini Ice Scream Man from Brutherford Industries to light your way during those dark moments.  Get one for $20, but please don't lick it cause people will stare.  

Flat Bonnie Exclusives for Designer Con

     The only time I want to see critters look like they've been squashed by an eighteen wheeler is when they are created by Flat Bonnie.  Seriously, on my way to work it's like the contents of a zoo are strewn about on the road.  Stop driving like morons and look out for our fuzzy friends.  If you must hit something with your car aim for another human being, because there are way more of them and not enough raccoons in the world.  This has been a public service announcement by People for the Unethical Treatment of Other People and Stuff or P.U.T.O.P.S for short.  

   Look at these.  LOOK AT THESE!!!!!!!!!  They're friggin adorable.  I would call out sick every day and snuggle with them while watching Golden Girls reruns and getting fat off of Cheez-Itz.  That's a real American dream.  

    Flat Bonnie is gonna have booth of these critters at Designer Con this weekend at booth number 316.  The Jackalope is a special Frozen edition and limited to only 10 pieces, while Sparg the Babdy Dragon (pictured below) is limited to 20 pieces.  Each on is $50, exclusive to this show, and even comes with an adoption certificate in case you get investigated by the authorities and need to document your plush children for some reason.  You can never be too careful.