Kidrobot to Offer Adventure Time Toys This Summer

    Have you ever watched Adventure Time?  There's some crazy stuff going on in that show.  Not that you couldn't look at the gang of characters right there and come to that conclusion on your own, but the show will make you question the last strand of sanity you're holding onto.  And its really funny.  And it's fitting that Kidrobot, a company based in Colorado, would be making toys for the hit series.  Not that Colorado is known for legally selling anything that would enhance your experience while watching Adventure Time.  I would never insinuate such a thing.  

  

   A plethora of products will be unleashed this summer, including an exclusive for San Diego Comic Con.  Of course, not everything they're making is pictured above, cause that would just ruin your ability to squeal when everything is unveiled.  So squeal now, and save some squeals for later.  

The Ice-Cat from Joe Ledbetter Drops Tomorrow

    Is this from that movie Frozen, cause I haven't seen it?  Just kidding, I know it's not but I'm completely serious about having not watched it.  When you tell people that you might as well have said that your favorite past time is kicking puppies, because the horrified looks on their faces would be the exact same.  I try to explain to them that I don't have children so why would I be interested but that is never an acceptable excuse.  Yet it's the same one that makes it totally ok for me to not go to Chuck E. Cheese or petting zoos (even though I enjoy petting the goats just as much as any 5 year old).  I know people that haven't seen Star Wars and yet I'm the bad guy in all of this.  

   Oh, and don't leave your cats outside in the winter cause it's kinda mean.  Unless you own a snow leopard or Siberian tiger, cause their names kinda dictate that they're down with the chilly weather.  And don't leave Joe Ledbetter's Ice-Cat outside either.  Not because he will freeze, but because someone will probably steal it.  They are limited to only 200 pieces, so someone's gonna be left out....wait for it...IN THE COLD!   These go on sale tomorrow from http://store.joeledbetter.com/ at 8am pacific time for $110 each.  

Mint Green Gacha Minis from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    These look delicious.  I wonder why no one has ever made edible toys before.  Maybe they don't want you to have to choose between having your toy or biting it's yummy little head off.  I would be torn as to what to do.  I would probably eat it, knowing that I'd instantly regret it, then I would complain and my wife would tell me to be quiet because Downton Abbey is on and I'm totally ruining it.  I love that show.  Did you see Lady Mary's new haircut?  What a fox!  Edith is just insufferable though and I realize she's had it rough but you're never going to get out from your sister's shadow if all you do is mope around the house all day.

    Toy Art Gallery is releasing a new set of mini figures from Paul Kaiju today in hunger inducing mint green.  You can get a set of them for $60 starting at noon pacific time from http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.
    

Mixed Parts Boogeyman from Cure x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Most kids worry that the boogeyman or some other monster is hiding under their bed, but I never did.  I figured they'd be in the closet, where it was much more spacious.  Knowing that no monster would want to hide beneath where I slept, I tried it out myself one day.  I was about 5 or 6 at the time and it was close to diner time, so I slid under there to hide from my parents.  They called me to come to the table but I didn't answer.  They looked all over the house, the backyard, anywhere they could think of, while I had my face in my hands barely able to control my laughter.  I thought I had pulled off a Houdini level disappearing act.  That is until I heard my mom on the phone with the police reporting me missing.  Panic had set in but it was too late; I was running down hill with my little prank and I was gonna crash hard at the bottom.  The cops showed up, gave me a lecture, and diner was cold.  And thus began the runaway train that is my life of crime.  

    Just kidding.  But for that day, proved that no monster other than a mischievous child who was in a lot of trouble was living under my bed.  If I had seen these guys prior to that, I might have thought twice about going down there.  Cure Toys has released their newest mixed parts Boogeyman through Lulubell Toy Bodega and they are available right this second!  Limited to only 1 per customer, you can choose from the unpainted ones you see above for $89, or the painted ones below for $99.  These things are very limited and will sell out soon, so get you hind parts to http://www.lulubelltoys.com/ before they're gone.  

Super Awesome Fun Time Review Party Featuring Lil Maddie from Bigshot Toyworks

    It's been awhile since I've gone full on crazy mode and done a toy review.  I just can't do these things all the time cause I put so much into them that I literally have to stay in bed for three days and recover afterwards, which is kinda not ok with where I work or my wife when she has to throw the sheets out.  We have a king size bed and those things are freakin expensive.  Have you ever noticed the price difference between a queen and king size mattress let alone a set of luxurious sheets?  It's like the sleep industry got together and determined that people who are living like ballers/morbidly obese shut-ins are gonna get railroaded for that extra bit of comfort that a larger mattress provides.  And even with pillow top goodness the size of Grenada, one of the cats will inevitably puke near my face.  Not like, every night, but it's happened once or twice and was scary enough that I think I have phantom puke syndrome now.  Don't waste your time asking your shrink about it because they'll say it's not a thing but I know what I go through each time the slightest noise is made while I'm asleep.  I got hairball shell shock.

   Do you see now why I can't review toys too often?  I just wrote an entire college essay about filthy linens and cat vomit.  I've got to be in line for a Pulitzer, or Grammy, or something, cause this stuff is gold.  Ok, so what we have to talk about today is a purple demon pony named Lil Maddie from Bigshot Toyworks.  I'm gonna go all hipster on you now and tell you about how I was waaaaaay into this before it was ever cool.  That's because Klim from Bigshot posted a picture on his Facebook page with the original art and I knew right then that it had to be a real toy.  So after annoying him with comments like "Hey, this should be a real toy" or "Take my money now" he actually listened and made it into an object that is now making people happy the world over.  I haven't had a good delusion of grandeur for awhile, so I'm gonna keep this one nice and shiny in the old frontal lobe and admire just how impressive it really is.

    Basically, Maddie looks like if Cthulhu got it on with a My Little Pony and they made the coolest love child since Teen Mom 2.  This figure is everything you could want in a toy meant to bring about the end of days.  A killer idea, executed perfectly down to the smallest detail, and it looks real nice on my shelf.

    Now I know what you're thinking (we've been over the fact that I've got your place tapped). You wanna know how to get one for yourself.  I'm gonna tell you.  There are actually a couple of ways to buy this, and the first is to go to the Bigshot Toyworks shop at http://bigshottoyshop.com.  The second, and perhaps the one you'll find the most interesting, is by supporting the Kickstarter for The Four Horsies of the 'Pocalypse that is coming to an end soon.  The project has surpassed its funding mark and now the super extra stretch goals are unleashing even more exclusive stuff.  Get in on all the excitement, and get some cool toys by visiting this link while there's still time.  If you miss this you'll have to live with the shame and regret for a lifetime, maybe even more.

Ahwroo Edition Creamy from Gary Baseman x 3DRetro Releases Today!

    Has there ever been a more perfect visual representation of my relationship (or lack there of) with ice cream?  I haven't eaten any in at least 20 years, and my memory is not the greatest so that should tell you the pain it inflicted upon me the last time.  Do cry for me Argentina, because I can't say I really miss it.  I have instead substituted the deliciousness of a Coke Slurpee whenever I feel the need for a tasty frozen treat.  How come no one ever pay homage to the beauty that is the Coke Slurpee?  I would like to see that as the next great movement in art, because it's value to society is completely under appreciated.  

    Gary Baseman has taken two of his popular characters, mashed em up, and turned them into a the only kind of ice cream that doesn't make my insides quiver in fear: plastic.  If you want one then today is your lucky day because they are being released at 9am pacific time only at www.garybaseman.com.  They are limited to 200 peices and each come with a signed and numbered print.  Produced by the fine folks at 3DRetro.  

Tricera-Tanks from Galaxxor x Goodleg Toys

    My wife and I live in a townhouse that unfortunately has other townhouses next to it, which I suppose is kind of the whole premise of townhouses.  They only provide us with one reserved parking spot, which is kinda bogus because our next door neighbor has decided to shack up with this ugly chick who insists on parking her car in the empty space next to ours every day, forcing us to drive around the block to find another spot for our second car.  It's not so bad except for the fact that she doesn't actually live there, but always manages to leave her car there for days at a time when it's going to snow.  There's nothing worse in this world than shoveling out a parking space only to have some other moron pull into it with no regard for your hard work.  Especially when that person only wears sweat suits.  If there's one thing I can't stand it's being insulted by someone with such a lazy fashion sense.  

    The problem may stem from the fact that my Hyundai Accent doesn't convey the brutal authority I need to reclaim what I had originally taken.  I need a Tricera Tank.  Yeah, I know they're not a vehicle per se, but I feel like a dinosaur covered in weapons of mass destruction could theoretically carry me to work and back.  We could just get him an oversized Baby Bjorn and I could ride to work safely strapped to his chest.  That's luxury my friends!  And if that woman insists on stealing the freshly shoveled spot that I made for my own personal use, I can vaporize her with one of the many on board weapons options I have at my disposal.  These are the things I day dream about.

    Galaxxor and Goodleg Toys have combined their toy making efforts to create some lizards that are strapped to the gills, mad as hell, and aren't gonna take it anymore.  Only 5 of these dudes were made with this color scheme and they will be available starting tomorrow at noon CDT from http://galaxxor.bigcartel.com/ .