Skinner Unleashes a New Batch of Morgogg and Ogos

   

    There's a lot of stuff Tolkien never covered when he wrote about Middle Earth.  We may never know just how intricate their sanitation systems were.  And you can't tell me all that was going on was some eternal struggle between good and evil cause I ain't buying it.  You can't consume your life with finding a ring, or trashing a ring, or bad mouthing Dwarves.  You gotta have some entertainment thrown in there to break up the day and stop you from going crazy.  For some reason ol J.R.R never mentioned the quite popular spectator sport of Orc wrestling, but lucky for you, I know all about it.

    We're not talking about that lame sport that passes for wrestling in high school or the Olympics, with two dudes rolling around on the floor in a passionate embrace.  No, we're talking about full blown sports entertainment, complete with chairs, title belts, and pudgy troll commentators.  Orcs are pretty hard to tell apart (the Elves said it, not me) so you didn't always know if your guy was winning or not, but it didn't matter.  All that matters was that you enjoyed a good night out with the family, ate some hot dogs, and came home with overly priced souvenir cups.  And if someone died.  It was much more of a blood sport than the WWE we know of today.

   Morgogg and Ogos look like they could be the undisputed tag team champions of Orc wrestling.  And no need for them to dig around under the ring looking for something illegal to use, as they come right out with some gnarly looking clubs and bad attitudes to match.  Skinner is set to drop these both in his online store tomorrow, March 20th, at noon pacific time.  There will be 10 of each figure and they will each come with an exclusive 8 x 10 giclee print.  The first person to order each figure will also get a blank black one for free!!!  It's like, too much for me to process right now.

http://shopcriticalhit.com/

   

"Green Slime" Sofubi Alien from Super7 x Secret Base

    I have yet to learn my lesson about staying off of social media during holidays.  A few days ago was St.Patrick's Day and Facebook was flooded with either pictures of leprechauns or people drinking.  Essentially, it was boring.  The only thing good that can come of it will be when everyone posts all the stupid stuff they did while extremely intoxicated.  Hopefully I'll get to read a good story or two, whether they admit to it themselves or I see it in the news.

    The only redeeming part of St. Patrick's Day for me is that everything is green, which just so happens to be my favorite color.  Not that you would necessarily know that by looking at what I wear or the stuff I own, but it was always a favorite when I was a kid so I'm sticking with it.  Which Is why I'm going to go a head and declare this "Green Slime" Alien figure the best one yet.  I don't know how Super7 and Secret Base are gonna top this see through green vinyl figure accented by a very nice black paint rub, but that doesn't mean they won't try.  These beauties go on sale Friday,  March 20th at noon pacific time from www.super7store.com.  

A Plethora of Alavaka Goods from Scarecrowoven x Devils Head Productions

    It's hard to buy an album these days.  Not physically of course, unless you're trying to go to an actual record store in which the difficulty there would be finding one.  But because there are so many choices when it comes to deciding how much you wanna spend.  Bands and record labels are going nuts trying to get you to buy cd's by offering a dozen ways in which you can get the music.  Picking your format is just the beginning cause then you can get a shirt, or a shot glass, or toe nail clippers, or pretty much whatever you can think of that they can slap a logo on.  And stop stealing stuff online.  People gotta eat ya know.

    That concept has finally reached the toy world with the newest Alavaka release from Devils Head Productions and Scarecrowoven.  Both artists painted up the figures, while the latter's screen print and companion tshirt make up some incredible bundle deals.  All this will be available Friday, March 20th from http://devilsheadquarters.storenvy.com and http://scarecrowoven.bigcartel.com.

Suns of Brodarr: Jeff from Bwana Spoons x Toy Art Gallery

    This is Jeff.  Just Jeff.  He was made by a man named Bwana Spoons, which is probably not what his mamma named him in the hospital.  Though it might be, cause I see some pretty crazy names whenever I watch daytime tv.  Sometimes I think people name their kids based on a dare, or by just using whatever the last word they heard when the child was born.  Then they take it as a challenge to spell it in a way that no one would ever guess, even if the reward for doing so involved lots and lots of money.  Maybe they just had a bad experience with someone who asked them for their personal information once, and from that moment on they were determined to get revenge.  Or maybe it's all the beef hormones screwing with their ability to think clearly.  Everything can be traced back to beef hormones.  

    Mr. Spoons (if that is his real name) and Toy Art Gallery are unleashing this awesome figure upon the world today at noon pacific time.  Pick one up for yourself at www.toyartgallery.com.  But don't even think about renaming him; he is and always shall be Jeff.

Blueberry from Kidrobot x Yury Ustsinau is Coming for Your Soul

    This thing kinda freaks me out.  It's like the alter ego of a serial killer terrorizing the Louisiana bayou.  And it's name is Blueberry, which is totally murderous.  If this was a movie, the main character would have stumbled upon this statue in a voodoo shop and being mysteriously drawn to it, is compelled to buy it.  After bringing it home the statue begins to take hold of his mind, transforming him into a monster.  He goes on a killing spree before finally being gunned down by a once skeptical cop and an oddly attractive nerd girl who figured out what was going on because of a sub thread on Reddit.  At the end of the film the statue is seen back in its place at the shop, appearing as if it never left.  And yet again, Hollywood has not called me.

    Of course this statue, however frightening you may find it, is just made of plastic that is most likely not infused with evil spirits.   It's the latest release from Kidrobot's Black collection and was designed by artist Yury Ustsinau (whose other work is equally effective at not making you want to be alone in the dark).  After spending a considerable amount of time floating on a cargo ship in the Pacific Ocean due to a labor dispute, this new centerpiece to your collection is finally ready to enter your home and possibly transform your psyche into that of an ancient demon/killer thingy.  But probably not really.

    Get one for yourself when they are released March 26th at www.kidrobot.com, Kidrobot locations, and your favorite designer toy stores.  

And Now For Something Completely Different: Cuddle Clones

    If you pay much attention to this site you have no doubt encountered pictures of my cats.  I have five of them, which is kind of mental, but I love them and they certainly make life interesting.  Without them, I wouldn't need to replace the carpet on my stairs, or have to investigate poop smells nearly as often!  See, every day is an adventure.   But in all seriousness, they are a lot of fun and I couldn't imagine life without them.

   People have gone to extremes to ensure their beloved critters will be with them forever, from actually cloning them to preserving their bodies through taxidermy.  Both are probably signs of some mental disorder and should be medicated accordingly, but I recently stumbled upon a company that takes the creepiness out of remembering your buddies for eternity. They're called Cuddle Clones and they make exact replicas of your pets in plush form.  You send them a bunch of pictures and they recreate the fuzz balls as adorable stuffed animals.  It's a neat way to keep your pets with you without scaring your human loved ones away.  Check em out at http://www.cuddleclones.com/.

Super7 San Diego's Grand Opening Is Tonight!

 
    You know how awesome it used to be when you could get in your car, drive around, and stumble upon awesome stores?  You'd have to think back quite awhile cause that time seems dead and gone.  Maybe not if you live in a city, but the suburbs are an endless wasteland of pizza shops and gas stations.  I don't know who is eating that much pizza, but you need the gas because you have to drive FOREVER to find any place cool to browse around.  When they build strip malls, is it mandatory that they fill them with boring crap?  Is there some law still on the books that regulates the necessary amount of dry cleaners each plaza must contain?  Would it kill them to put a antique/toy/convenience/laser tag emporium in every few?  I smell an appearance on Shark Tank coming up.

    If you perchance live in San Diego or the surrounding area, you are about to get a new favorite destination, as Super7 will be opening up their latest retail location tonight.  You should go and buy stuff to make yourself happy, buy stuff to make me happy, or just go and see if they have free nachos.  If you're not just there to fill up on snacks they will have an exclusive mixed parts Crystal Mecha for your collecting pleasure.  All the info you need is in the photo you see above.