Me and ice cream aren't friends. We used to be back in the day, but then something happened between ice cream and my digestive system and they have been enemies every since. It's probably been 20 years or more since that cool, refreshing dairy treat has passed my lips, but I still remember it well. If I try hard I can almost taste the sweet vanilla goodness of a soft serve cone, but then my stomach seems to get wind of my mental betrayal and starts rumbling in protest. If the US and Cuba can put aside their differences you would think a bit of diplomacy would go a long way in healing this rift in my body, but I seem to be doomed to a life where ice cream is but a distant, delicious, memory.
Frank Kozik debuted this giant sized Smorkin' Monger named Jerome at San Diego Comic Con, but now he is available to all of us unable to attend. Produced by Rotofugi and Squibbles Ink, this 4 inch figure retails for only $15.95 and is available right this second at www.rotofugi.com
I hope you weren't looking for a good night's sleep later, cause this is straight up nightmare fuel. I love the work of Plaseebo, because everything he makes looks like it's ready to kill you and live off of what's left. I've determined that is my favorite genre of toy, right up there with "so cute I could vomit glitter" and "looks like a murder weapon from True Detective." My tastes are very specific.
Plaseebo has teamed up once again with Gorgoloid for three special Night Gamers that will be available tomorrow, Friday the 24th, over at www.plaseebo.net. If I bought one I would probably lock it in a safe when I went to sleep, you know, just in case.
You know the best way to make friends besides having lots of money and paying them off? You gotta go out there and meet folks. For some people that's pretty easy to do; you just go out there, strike up a conversation, and become bestie for life. For others though, once that good conversation dries up like the Sahara you gotta have ways to keep things fresh and interesting. What better way to do that than some good ol fashioned competition!
Robo Tops from Inami Toyland are the perfect thing to bond you for life. Not only do they cure boredom by being the most inventive version of rock paper scissors you've ever seen, they could also lead to fist fights if one person is way better at it than the other. One of my best friends from high school only became that after we beat the crap out of each other. True story.
These lemon and lime versions will be available tonight at 9pm over at www.InamiToyland.com. Theres only 10 of each color and they will be $15 each.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I don't talk too much about Pop! Vinyls, cause honestly the dang things are everywhere. I renewed my car insurance it came with an exclusive figure. I find the things stuffed behind my books, a handful fell out of a new bag of cat litter, and I think I may have my own likeness available any day now. At one time I as trying to collect all the different versions of Batman, but some of those suckers are priced so outrageously on the secondary market that I abandoned that quest for the sake of my own mental health. But then this. Let's go to the video, Tony Shiavone:
I don't think that really had anything to do with toys, but I can't stop listening to The Nature Boy tell you what's what. And if you buy this Target exclusive figure he can inspire you to cut the most over the top, energetic promos on everyone in your life. Whether it's your boss, the pope, or anyone else giving you a heap of sass, you put your aviators on, sling your title belt over you shoulder, and let them know that if they wanna be the man, they gotta beat the man. You should probably do a few push ups too just in case they try and call you on that last part.
I have no idea when these are coming out and no one else in the world seems to either, so just keep harassing you local Target until victory is yours.
I can't tell if these dudes are ready to star in a crazy horror film or one of those late night movies that you can find on Cinemax (not that I can even stay up that late anymore, but I've heard stories). Either way, it seems like massive amounts of booty is about to be plundered whenever Harr Hanchor is around. Imagine how much more interesting Deadliest Catch would be if someone that looked like this was running one of those crab boats. That show was cool at first but now its either "we found some crabs" or "we ain't got no crabs" or someone falls overboard succumbing to the cruel mistress that is the sea. Throw this guy in the mix and now you've got yourself something worth watching. This Bubble Gum edition of figures is available right now from the only guys who could come up with something this nuts, Goodleg Toys. Start building up your pirate crew at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com
Let me tell you something: you wish you had a rabbit hand puppet. You wish you could take your puppet around, give people sweet little rabbit kisses on their face, and then see how long it takes you to get arrested for being a weirdo. You're making your mother cry with all these shenanigans, you know. But I ain't your momma, so keep living the dream, my friends.
Clementine from Kathie Olivas x Tomenosuke could totes get away with giving random people kisses with her bunny pal, because she looks the complete part. A little bit whimsical, a little bit spooky, and made completely out of sweet Japanese sofubi. Being plastic and inanimate makes your behavior way more acceptable.
This little lady is available right now for residents of North America by visiting www.strangerfactory.com. People in other parts of the world have to get theirs from www.tomenosuke.com.
I don't even want to think about all the hours I've spent in my life playing video games. I'm sure there's some way to guesstimate just how much of my existence has been donated to the fine folks at Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo, but that's probably best left a mystery. Just playing for an hour or two makes me wallow in my own depression of all the other productive stuff I could have been doing, so having it presented to me measured in days or weeks might just do me in. Although as a result I do have some wicked hand eye coordination and could straight kill a man with my thumbs, so there's that.
Let's focus on the more positive things in life though, like these sick Mega Man figures from Kidrobot. They'll be available starting today in stores and on www.kidrobot.com, just in case you're in the middle of a game and aren't able to leave the house for a while. I've been there, bro.
