Bella Lee: Noir Edition from Scott Tolleson x Pobber Toys

    Man, I never knew how hard it is to find reasonable people to hire.  I've been trying to help wrangle candidates for my job and it has been no easy task.  To make matters worse, when you find a resume that's worth looking at, sometimes their very name will just ruin it for you.  For instance, how am I supposed to ever be expected to work with someone named Cupcake?  I can't take that seriously, and I refuse to call someone by a name like that, whether their parents actually put that on their birth certificate or not.  And what am I supposed to tell me wife when she asks me about my day?  It's gonna sound like I'm some low-grade pimp with a stable of girls on the corner.

     Bella Lee here had parents that actually thought their daughter could be anything she wanted to be, but even not being named Glitter didn't keep her from a life of questionable employment.  Or she might just be trying to pay down her student loans, in which case I totally understand.  Either way, Scott Tolleson and Pobber are pleased to offer this purrty lady online this Thursday, August 6th, for $120.  This 8 inch resin figure is limited to 50 pieces and only available from www.pobber.com.  

Last Day to Enter the Slugbeard Lottery from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Galley

    I am getting so old.  Last night Sharon and I went to The Smashing Pumpkins/Marilyn Manson show and I am dragging this morning.  It's the first show we've been to in a long time because frankly, we've seen just about everyone we could ever want to that's still alive,  We used to go to shows all the time so we checked just about everyone of our must-see list.  We've seen both of these bands numerous times, but they are two of our absolute favorites and the show was amazing.  I do have one question though: when did people start watching the shows only through their phones?  Everywhere we looked were people who were just taking pictures and recording snuff film quality footage on their cell phones.  Whats the point of paying to see a band live if you're going to spend the entire time wondering if you got something worthy of uploading to Facebook?  People are weird.  

   All those people could have done something productive with their data plans, like enter the latest Sluggard lottery from Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery.  It ends today at 12pm pacific time and these are the details you need:

Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Slugbeard Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time (Monday 12PM PST). Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!

The Brute Low Poly Viking from Jona Dinges x VTSS Toys

    There can never be enough Viking toys out there.  That's not even my opinion, that's pure fact.  So many people in the toy world are inspired by Asian Art, or graphitti, or drug abuse, but Nordic art is sorely under represented.  And it's not like the Vikings weren't creating some beautiful work in between cracking skulls and looting monasteries, it's just people are way more into violence than wood carving.

    Not that this guy was inspired by anything the Vikings created as much as he was their very essence of awesome, but it's still a step closer.  I love this figure drom Jona Dinges x VTSS Toys and if you've got $220 laying around you can love it in person in your own house.  They only made 50 and they should be available today at http://www.vtsstotoys.com.  

What if Mr. T and the TMNT Had a Baby? Dead Greedy Has the Answer For You

    The scenario I described in the title of this post of course would depend on there being female ninja turtles, which is a spin off series I'm shocked no one has done yet.  It would be the perfect plan for Shredder to create chick turtles, thus distracting our heroes long enough to take over the world to the point that there's nothing they could do.  I am really underutilizing my skills as an evil genius.

    My man Dead Greedy is so far ahead of the game though, cause he already had Mr. T swoop in and  woo the green right off of one of those turtle ladies with the promise of gold chains and massive amounts of the pitying of fools.  At this very moment you could snag yourself one of those mini Mr. TMNT in the color of your choice for $20, or get one of each (that's five total) for $75.  Or you could go much bigger, and get a sweet carded version painted up like Michelangelo for $50.  Take a gander at the madness over at http://www.shop.craptasticplastic.com/main.sc. 

Micro Nyagira Custom Series Available Now from Max Toy Co.

    Sharon and I recently took her parents and our niece to a local no-kill animal shelter because they have what is probably the greatest amusement park ride in history.  There's this series of three rooms that house all of the cats that are adoptable and the ones that will live there forever based on various reasons.  The place is wall to wall free roaming cats with a few lawn chairs right smack in the middle.  You go in, you sit down, and you are instantly covered in a mound of kitty snuggles.  I dare Six Flags to come up with anything better.  

    My own house is beyond capacity in the amount of fuzzy friends it already holds, so we have sworn an oath to only welcome plastic kitties in for the time being.  This Micro Niagara custom from Max Toy Company seems to fit that bill quite well.  Hand painted by Mark Nagata in an edition of only 14, there are still a few left over at http://www.maxtoyco.com for $30 each.  

The Christmas Dunny Has Returned Courtesy of Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    I'm a sucker for a good theme.  Even though the food is usually terrible I love a good themed restaurant and have eaten at Planet Hollywood, The Hard Rock Cafe, and even the WWE joint when that was still a thing in Times Square, just to be able to see the decor.  How can you not love an excessive display of grandeur all made in an attempt to make you eat otherwise unpalatable food?  I had my own idea for a theme restaurant once, but it was all based on the employees.  I wanted everyone that worked there to constantly be involved in dramatic situations throughout their shifts.  One server would pretend to have a nervous breakdown, two more would get into a verbal altercation, maybe another would fake an amputation at the hand of a deli slicer.  I'm nosey and I figure lots of other people are too, and what better way to enjoy a good meal than have a bit craziness thrown in.  For some reason Gordon Ramsey won't return my calls looking for an investment.  

    What was the point of all that again?  Oh yeah, I love themes, and it broke my heart last year when Kidrobot didn't release a Christmas Dunny.  Ok, that might be over selling it, but I do look forward to them every year which is why I was excited to find out that Frank Kozik's little elf buddy you see there will be released in time for the holidays.  myplasticheart broke the news last night on Instagram and is now taking preorders for these, with more stores sure to be following suit.  Now if I can just convince them to release a Dunny for Leif Erikson Day.  

The Minatorg Resin figure from BOObotcher x Forces of Dorkness Available Now!!!!!

    Let's all take a moment to give my boy Theseus some credit.  First and foremost, you wouldn't catch me skulking around a pitch-black labyrinth.  I always think how cool it would be to explore the abandoned place in Philadelphia, but I am way overdue for my tetanus booster.  Secondly, there's the Minotaur to contend with, who is like the ancient version of a crackhead armed with hepatitis needles.   You stumble upon that bro, and it's a trip to the emergency room and blood tests every six months.  So I give much respect for Theseus for being the ultimate explorer/monster killer.  I really should rewrite all of the Greek myths with a more urban so the kids of today could truly appreciate them.  I'm gonna call it "Straight Outta Athens".  

     As if a giant man-bull lurking in the dark wasn't enough to scare the crap out of you, what about one that's gone full Terminator?  The Minatorg from BOObotcher and Forces Of Dorkness could definitely have a place in my book, what with his giant arm cannon thingy and overall menacing look.  This is the first version of this collaborative figure, cast in translucent red resin, standing 4 and 1/2 inches tall and available right now for only $25 bagged with a header card.  Snag this updated nightmare of mythology by visiting http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com/