"Red Rub" Vertebrata from Paul Kaiju x Blobpus x Toy Art Gallery Lottery Details

    I love when people commit crimes using unconventional weapons.  One of my favorite stories of such an occurrence was when a man walked into a gas station near where I used to live, and robbed the place with a broom.  He cleaned out the cash register by brandishing an item used to clean the floor.  I never found out whether he got to the place and just winged his approach, or if he brought the thing with him as part of a well thought out plan.  The former I can understand, because he could have just had poor impulse control, but the latter is way more bizarre.  The guy looked around his house, was struck by a moment of divine inspiration, and drove with his weapon to make some quick cash from the Texaco.

    You may, in a few brief moments, notice that the above story has nothing to do with the toy you see there.   I had already typed this story out for a different post, but then that toy sold out and I thought it would be a waste to just delete what I had already written, so here it is.  One less story being sent to the landfill.

    The newest edition of Vertebrate from Paul Kaiju x Blobpus x Toy Art Gallery will be available via lottery submission starting today at noon pacific time.  You have until Monday at noon to enter for a chance o buy one of these freaky ladies.  Here's more info on the lottery:

The Vertebrata Red Rub Edition retails for $85 and will be released via email lottery starting on Wednesday, August 26th at 12PM PST and ending on Monday, Aug. 31st at 12PM PST. Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Vertebrata Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time (Monday 12PM PST). Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!

   

The Next Installment of SWWF from Healeymade

    I am so pumped right now I want to go ring a random person's doorbell and DDT them on their front porch.  Sharon and I are going to Summerslam in Brooklyn this weekend and I have been super hyped about it for months but now that it's here I've go so much excitement built up inside me that I don't know how I will make it through today without powerbombing someone through a table or using uncontrolled run-on sentences.  The highlight for me is that I'm gonna get to see The Undertaker in person, which hasn't happened in a long time.  When I was a wee little Chris I got to go to a house show in Richmond, Virginia we walked up to the box office the day of the show and got seats right next to the barrier where the performers walk out.  I remember standing their in awe as The Undertaker made his way to the ring; by far the biggest person I had ever seen in my life let alone stood next to.  He was beyond human; something that couldn't have been something naturally occurring in this world, but something born purely of imagination.  Though I'm much older and much more knowledgable about how the world of professional wrestling works, that surreal feeling still comes back to me any time I go see it in person.  

    If you were to ask me how to create the perfect toy I would say you have to take things I love, mash them together, and let the results speak for themselves.  Well, I love Star Wars and I love WWE, so I would say Healeymade has either been rooting around in my brain or the man has some exquisite tastes.  This thing is beautiful in its genius and can be owned right now by checking out http://healeymade.com.  

Galamilk World of Isobelle Pascha Vampire Hunting Miyu and Lizbeth from 3A

    Women seem to dominate the world of vampire hunting for some reason.  While there may be inequality in other forms of employment, killing blood-sucking fiends has predominately been a field where men have had no place.  There are a few notable exceptions, like Blade or Van Helsing, but they are no match for their female counterparts.  I suppose if I were a vampire and someone was to drive a stake through my heart I'd rather it be some attractive woman than some sweaty dude.  Did the vampires form some sort of union and this was on their lists of demands? 

   Who cares about the particulars and let us just enjoy the fact that pretty ladies are keeping us safe from becoming slaves of the undead.  Miyu and Lizbeth from 3A are working hard to literally save your necks and look good while doing it.  Both of these figures are available right now from http://www.bambalandstore.com for $320 each.  Which may seem like a lot, until you realize that they stand 2 feet tall!  That's a lot of toy!And shipping is included in the price, so now your only decision is which one you like best.  I say get them both so one isn't lonely without the other.  This is something I legitimately think about.  

Want To Own Buffalo Bill's House from "Silence of the Lambs"? Now You Can!

    As you can tell from the past two days, I've ben on a real estate kick.  You need somewhere amazing to house your toy collection and I've finally found the perfect place.  On the market now, just south of Pittsburgh (which is the only drawback, really) is Buffalo Bill's house from Silence of the Lambs.  This place is beyond amazing you can see by checking out the listing here.  For $300,000 you can not only own a house that is part of movie making history, but you also get an in-ground pool with an old train caboose as a pool house!  Sadly, the infamous pit in the basement isn't there, as it was just something they created on a sound stage, but the house has enough space that you could make your captives put the lotion in the basket in one of four picturesque bedrooms, or perhaps even the winter parlor (I have no idea what that is, but I need it) or butler's pantry (just as clueless).  

Hello Clarice? More like hello victorian luxury!

Boomu Plush from 100% Soft

     This is how I want to die.  I want a giant, cuddly, kaiju kitten to rise from his home deep within a mountain and devour me with snuggles.  You can keep your "hails of gunfire" and your "blazes of glory" cause I'm going out to the sounds of monster kitty purrs thank you very much.

   

    If you don't love this Boomu plush from 100% Soft you are both wrong and a terrible person.  It is flawless in its adorableness and is ready to stomp its way into your heart (and your city, which is pretty much doomed).  This 8 inch tall plushy is available right now for only $20 from http://100soft.bigcartel.com.  

     

Help Build a Real Version of Minas Tirith from Lord of the Rings

    How many times in your daily life are you forced to drive by another pile of garbage being built that will in a few years time sit abandoned like the bad idea it was?  Every day I pass by this relative ghost town on the way to work that has now decided to build a strip mall.  Never mind the fact that most of the houses sit vacant, or that the only other two businesses for miles are gas station on either side of the road and a produce stand that looks like it was but as a set for the next Mad Max film.  Nope, despite the obvious warning signs by the buzzards circling overhead, what that town needs is a nail salon, a pizza joint (cause you can't find one of those in New Jersey) and another place to buy a cell phone.  Oh joy!

    But this is a construction project I can get behind!  Finally, someone in this world has decided that enough is enough and cookie cutter housing developments and retail establishments have had their time and now we need to pave the way for something new.  Something, like Minas Tirith!

   The great city from Lord of the Rings has been proposed to be built somewhere in southern England, but it needs your help (and a lot of cash) to become a real, livable city.  It's a definite uphill battle, as they need to raise billions of dollars for the project to commence construction.  You can help by checking out the Indiegogo page here and by maybe convincing Bill Gates or Warren Buffet that this would make a pretty baller investment.  Meanwhile, I'll be packing all my things to be ready for move in day.  

"Sand K. Troop at Coin Rides Game #1" from Fools Paradise

    Ok, let me make it perfectly clear that the name of this toy is a bit nuts.  I put that sucker in quotation marks so you didn't think I had a stroke while typing this.  The name reminds me of when my brother went to Korea and he came back with this shirt that had a picture of a monkey in a space helmet and it said underneath "The Matrix Lord of The Rings Return of the King".  They had just taken recently released movie titles, mashed em together, and called it a day.  I was really pissed he didn't buy me one.

  I'm more than willing to overlook what may be a rather confusing name and instead focus on the majesty that is this toy.   Let's break it down into its component elements to fully appreciate what it has going for it:

1.) It's Star Wars presented in a unique way

2.) Half-nekkid lady Storm Trooper

    It practically sells itself on those two points alone!  So since I have convinced you that you need one, I shall now tell you how to make all of your dreams come true.  You're gonna want to go to this link type in your payment info, and one of these will magically appear at your doorstep later this year.  You only have until September 8th to preorder one and they cost $289 with shipping included (magic ain't free, son).