Medieval Spawn Resin Statue from McFarlane Toys

    A few years ago Sharon and I decided we were gonna go to the Renaissance Fair in Lancaster.  We're all into Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings, so we thought it could either be really cool or we would be horrified and have funny stories to tell afterwards.  So there we are, speeding down the Pennsylvania Turnpike, when we see a sign with a giant cow on it advertising German food and an antique market.  We glanced over at each other, mouths agape, and to this day have never made it to the Renaissance Fair.  We keep trying but find ourselves unable to pass that exit.  It is probably as far west as we will ever get in that state, because not only do we stuff ourselves with the most delicious beef you have ever tasted, but the antique shopping is prime.  

   Now if I was guaranteed that I would see stuff like this roaming around, I might be willing to ease up on the brakes on keep driving.  I bet the ending of Braveheart would had been a lot different if Spawn had been the lead character instead of that wussy Mel Gibson.  And it would have been a lot shorter, because they would have taken one look at this dude, turned right around, and fixed everything he was upset about.  The whole mess could have been resolved in the span of a commercial break.  

    This resin statue from McFarlane Toys stands a whopping 17 inches tall, comes with two different heads, and is sure to make your cats think twice about holding Wrestlemania in your living room at 3 in the morning.  Preorder one of these highly detailed beauties now from this link.   

    

Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones in 1/6th Scale from threezero

     Jamie Lannister arguably has the rawest deal on Game of Thrones.  Think about it, dude is not only in love with his evil sister but is the father of her children, two of which are dead.  And he got his sword hand cut off, leaving him but a shadow of his former swashbuckling self.  At least everyone else on the show gets to die and, hopefully, move on to a more peaceful afterlife.  It really seems that's the best you can hope for if you're born in Westeros.  Or Arkansas.

    threezero continues their amazingly detailed line of 1/6th scale figures with the Kingslayer himself.  As you would expect he comes with a boat load of accessories that will make your other toys jealous that they have way less stuff to play with.  You can preorder this figure for $190 (which includes worldwide shipping) beginning Monday, November 23rd at 9am Hong Kong time.

http://www.threezerostore.com

The Soon-To-Be Classic Tale of the Christmas Parasite

   Christmas is a day that people spend all year looking forward to.  They are eager to spend time with family, give and receive presents, and stuff themselves full of delicious food.  This year, the presents aspect has me a little nervous every after my wife shared with me her recommended items from Etsy.

   Sharon and I both get a kick out of surprising the other with our gift buying abilities.  She is by far better at it than anyone I know, and she seems impressed by my Rain Man like ability to remember the most random things that she mentions she likes.  The website Etsy has in the past few years become a hub for us when we're in the market for vintage items and it seems this year she has used it almost exclusively.  Based on the items she purchased the website has used some algarithm to determine a host of other objects she might be interested in.  This is where things have gone completely off the rails.  I present to you dear reader, the number one item recommended based on her purchasing habits:

Having "bath salts" as part of their shop name is just a tad sketchy and probably cause for investigation by the proper authorities.

    Now, let's start with the part that is humorous for me and that being that Sharon is terrified of leeches.  She finds them to be a horrific amalgam of two of God's most heinous creatures (that don't have the surname Kardashian): the tick and the slug.  The fact that I'm still married after finding one in a river and showing it to her is more a testament to her realizing she could always use it against me than her ability to forgive.  And I probably shouldn't have laughed when she showed me it was her top pick from Etsy, because that brought up the second part of all of this, which is a bit more worrisome for me.

    What in the hell did she get me for Christmas?  I can't even fathom what items you would have to buy in order for a website to recommend a leech in a jar as the obvious next play in your gift giving.  I can't imagine a nice pair of socks or an artisinal toothpick set would lead to such madness, so the possibilities are both endless and troubling.  Though holiday pictures will probably be the most interesting ones to date, which would be a perfect time to shamelessly plug my Instagram where everything will unfold in almost real time.  But don't think the leech was the only recommended item, cause that would be horrible for business.  So gaze upon the rest of the stuff that obviously my wife would want to own because they would look really good next to the bag of tapeworms or whatever it is that is currently hidden from my prying eyes somewhere in this house.

   

For the First Time Ever at Designer Con: Splurrt

    Splurrt is making his first trek out to Designer Con this year and he's bringing a veritable pile of toys that will stare at you as you sleep and teleport nightmares into your brain (or so I heard).  He's sharing  booth #553 with Paul Kaiju and his freaky creations will only be available on Saturday via lottery system.  So you're gonna need to grab yourself a ticket between 9am and noon, then return at 3pm when the selling madness begins.  If anything is left after the craziness dies down it will be sold on a first come first served basis.  In total he will have over 160 figures for sale, including the ones you see here.  I'm guessing he won't be bringing much back home with him.  

   

Super7 Exclusives for Designer Con

     Oh my Lord there is soooooo much going on at Designer Con weekend I don't know how people that are going just don't lose their minds.  Any time I go to a convention I am knocked stupid by the amount of things to see.  And at those I'm not even interested in a lot of the stuff that's there, so I can't imagine being surrounded by table after table of stuff that I want and having to pick from it all.  I would probably have PTSD afterwards.

   Super7 will be in attendance and will of course have some exclusives for your purchasing pleasure, like this gorgeously marbled Mongolion from L'amour Supreme.  It's so purty and at $65 is luxury you can afford.

    My cats already try to eat my snack food so I don't know how long these dudes would make it in my house.  Just last night Jorah snatched a Nilla Wafer from my hand and by the time I got it back from under the couch is was covered in teeth marks and spit.  The same fate would most likely befall these delicious looking fellows.  At $25 each and adorable as all get out, it would be worth the risk.  Just have to keep em locked up and away from hungry kitties.

     Pay Super7 a visit at booth #406. 

 

Kidrobot at Designer Con

    Kidrobot is going to Designer Con.  I am not.  I am sad.

    I already have an appointment scheduled to go and talk about my feelings, so try not to worry to much about me as you try to get one of the always popular Blown Away custom Dunnys from Josh Mayhem.  These dudes practically sell out as quick as he can make em, so I can guarantee they're gonna be one of the quickest things to be snatched up during the show.  And rightfully so, cause just by looking at that picture you can tell a lot of work goes into them.  And the finished result looks like candy coated goodness.  

    The next version of J*RYU's It's a F.A.D. Dunny is presented in 20 inches of luxurious pearlescent.  You will be the envy of your friends, the subject of dinner party conversations, and the object of vile jealous rumors (its inevitable) once you own one of these beauties.  See, they practically sell themselves.  You can also meet the man behind the Dunny as he live paints one on Saturday at 4pm and again Sunday at 3pm.  

    Tweety Bird is kinda putting on a USDA Grade vibe in this vinyl interpretation from Mark Dean Veca.  This certainly won't deter any putty tats from making a delicious mid afternoon snack out of his bulbous head.  This red version will make its first ever appearance this weekend and may inspire a new culinary phenomenon with canary burgers as the staple ingredient.  Pet Smart should stock up.  You can meet Mark during his signing on Saturday at 11am.

    There will be more exclusives and signings with Amanda Visell (Saturday at 2pm) and Scott Tolleson (Sunday at 11am) and a panel with Frank Kozik and others talking all things Kidrobot.  Check it all out at booth #'s 518/521. 

    

"Rainbow Flavor" Abominable Snow Cone from Jason Limon x Martian Toys

    Man, I do love a good snow cone.  I get em on the boardwalk during the summer and usually end up ruining a shirt and looking like a four year old eating it, but it's delicious and if people on the Wildwood boardwalk suddenly had an epiphany about how they looked they'd realize I am far from the freak show.  Watching these folks is one of the best (only) reasons you should ever come to the state of New Jersey, unless you're just the kind of sicko that loves high taxes and people treating you like you're a jerk.  Some of you might be into that I guess.  But people in Wildwood have the same mentality that the old guy driving in his car and with his finger jammed knuckle deep in his nose suffers from.  There is just a level of oblivion so profound it's like seeing the Virgin Mary on your toaster waffle when everyone else only notices freezer burn.

    The Abominable Snow Cone just brings those summertime feelings rushing right back to ya!  No longer will the mighty chill of winter impede your memories of sunburn and aggressive sea gulls.  Jason Limon and Martian Toys will be debuting the newest version of this impressive figure at this weekend's Designer Con.  Booth #603 will be the place to get one, but fear not if you can't be in attendance, because the rest of us will have a chance to own one come the first week of December.  The above picture is the only one I have of what this dude will look like, so I will show you his previous incarnations now so you get a better idea of how bad you need one.