Bubble Gum Pink Slugbeard from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    A slug beard sounds like something some evil cursed wizard would have.  Writhing, slimy little creatures would cover his face similar to Medusa's hair snakes, except the slugs would be way grosser.  See, with a normal beard you have the ability to catch savory morsels of food that somehow got lost on the way to your mouth.  With a slug beard those tasty bits will be covered in that iridescent slime and rendered inedible.  That's really the only drawback I can think of.

   Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery are unleashing this big honking piece of bubble gum-lookin vinyl onto the world on April 15th at noon pacific time.  And it's not even a lottery, so you gotta have your eyes focused on www.toyartgallery.com when they drop, otherwise you will fall into a pit of despair.  Not a literal pit, mind you, but a theoretical one which can be must worse.  

New Releases from doubleparlour Coming April 15th

    Don't bother being sad because April 15th is tax day and instead rejoice, because it is also new release day from doubleparlour.  Fill your life with their utterly strange and surreal characters and try not to smile each time you look at them.  Featuring a mix of old favorites and new sculpts, they will be available for purchase beginning at noon pacific time only from http://doubleparlour.myshopify.com.  Take a look at some of what will be offered :

"In My Mind" Porcelain Sculpture from Jey NoName x K. Olin Tribu

    Have you ever wondered whether your mind would one day reach capacity and you would never be able to remember anything else without recording over some of your old memories?  Yeah, I don't obsess about that every day either, I was asking for a friend.  But it makes you wonder a little doesn't it?  Are the wrinkles in my brain so packed full of nonsensical trivia answers and passwords for social media that I'm unable to remember things that are actually important?  If someone could figure out a way to selectively delete information in your head that would the most brilliant/dangerous invention ever.  While you could erase painful memories you could also accidentally erase something important, like your ability to read, or the fact that you owe me money.  Or some madman could get his hands on it and wipe the brains of an entire country's worth of people.  this may or may not be what the new Captain America movie is about.

    Jey NoName and K. Olin Tribu have collaborated on this porcelain creation known as "In My Mind".  Supposedly it is a vessel to store your overflowing thoughts in.  Or you could go all Ancient Egypt and plop your organs inside when you die.  Not you in particular, but someone else who is not dead/squeamish.  Only 30 pieces of this decorative art piece were made and they are available now from http://www.kolintribu.com.

New Kandy Kaiju Releases from Super7

 

     I've always had an indifference towards food.  Anything edible was merely there to keep me alive and very little joy was ever had from the act of eating.  Then recently something changed and my gluttony switch was flipped.  Now I'm not only hungry all the time, but meals have taken on the qualities of religious experiences.  How have I gone through life this way only to suddenly crave food?  It's bizarre, and my shirts aren't fitting that well as a result.  It's a one sided love affair.

    Super7 has the perfect solution to my newfound love of food but my need to not buy an entire wardrobe.  As long as the food is plastic, and therefore not digestible, I can have my proverbial box of snack cakes and eat them too (but not really).  And they both glow in the dark, which nothing you eat should ever do.

    Milton and Foster will be on sale starting Thursday, April 14th at noon pacific time through both www.super7store.com and their retail locations.

    

Woot Bear Exclusive Bedtime Bunny from Peter Kato

    It's borderline criminal that nap times aren't factored into the average American work day.  Right now I get a half hour for lunch, which is barely enough time to make any progress in whatever book I'm reading at the time due to the constant interruptions.  For some reason a book is a magnet for unwanted conversation.  But beyond that, I think it should be mandatory that every business shut down for one hour to allow its employees to take a nap.  Actually, let's make it an hour and a half because it takes me forever to wake up and get my bearings, so a little bit of a cushion would be beneficial.  How did we grow up, brag about the fact that we were now adults and could eat cookies for dinner, and neglect the importance of a daily nap?  Travesty.

   I bet all the employees at Woot Bear take naps, cause they're reasonable folks.  And what better way to inspire your next bout of leisure time than with one of Peter Kato's Bedtime Bunnies.  This exclusive white bunny with pink slippers just wants you to take a break from the stress of your day so you don't snap and go on a rampage.  We all know you're on the brink.

    He'll be available Friday April 15th at noon pacific time.  

    

Uncle Scam from Ron English x Kidrobot

    By the look of his waistline, it seems that the majority of my tax dollars have gone directly into the government's cheeseburger fund.  Leave it to Ron English to perfectly capture how most Americans must feel this time every year, as we send in those dreaded forms to the IRS.  I know taxes are a must, but they could make it hurt a little less.  Maybe have a fun animal mascot, or have that party patrol from Publisher's Clearing House deliver our refund checks.

    Kidrobot wants to ease your pain this April 15th by releasing the very timely Uncle Scam figure, which heavily resembles my governor in New Jersey Chris Christie.  I can just picture this as his campaign poster if he actually had a chance at winning the nomination, which the rest of the US has no idea how lucky they are that would never happen.  Unless Trump wins the nomination and announces him as his running mate, which would undoubtedly be the coming of the antichrist and the end of days for mankind.  Kinda makes George Orwell's visions look like Dr. Seuss in comparison.  But fear not, because we have you covered on that front as well with this black and white version:

    Is it a chase piece?  Is it a Kidrobot.com exclusive?  I don't know, but either way it's horrifying.  This pieces was brought to reality by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks.    

    

One of A Kind X- Ray Gnaw 2 from Plaseebo

    Is it normal that every time you have a problem with someone at work you picture them being infested by horrible creatures like this and slowly devoured from the inside out?  I mean, such thoughts are reserved for the truly horrible members of the public who seem to have left their house with the specific goal of making others miserable.  It just seems fitting that they should feel the physical manifestation of how their personality comes across to everyone they encounter.  Of course I'm just asking this for a friend of mine and this in know way reflects my own wishes for such a malady to befall the unpleasant.   **Wink**.

    Plaseebo is unleashing more nightmare fuel into the world with his latest one of a kind creation, the X-Ray Gnaw 2.  This thing has an LED light and a plethora of glow in the dark human body parts, which is something I don't think they sell by the bagful at party supply stores.  Though that would be exactly the type of party I'd be willing to go to.  You can add this guy to your collection when he goes on sale Tuesday, April 12th from www.plaseebo.net.