Morgogg (Steel Bearing Hand) from Skinner

    It is important that when you welcome people into your home for a visit that you lay down the ground rules without the use of words, but merely through your decor.  People will try and trick you and get their mail delivered to your house and stay indefinitely without the benefit of monetary compensation, but rather than offend them with a sharp tongue I prefer to own things that will make them think that living with me would be worse than squatting in an abandoned campground.  Here's some tips that I have proven through rigorous field testing:

1)  Always keep your basement door closed and never offer to show it to anyone when you give a tour of your digs.  Yeah, you may have a sweet vintage Kiss pinball machine down there, but you also may have the mummified corpse of a gypsy who grants you wishes.  No one has ever been frightened away by Kiss pinball.

2.)  There's no such thing as owning too many skulls.

3.)  An altar on the back of your toilet to appease the child who may or may not haunt the bathtub goes a long way toward making someone wonder whether they could do their business in such an environment.  If you have two bathrooms fill the other with litter boxes.  Bonus crazy points if you don't actually have cats.    

4.)  Most importantly, collect some beastly looking toys to fill all your free space.  Make sure their wee beedy eyes are pointing at all times at the only places that guests can sit.  You'll be shocked and/or amazed at how fast they will pick up the excessive amount of suitcases they brought with them to Thanksgiving dinner and head off to search for the next sucker to take them in.  

    Skinner makes a living off of making your non toy collecting friends uncomfortable with his creations, like this dude Morgogg.  He's big, he's mean, and he looks like if he were real he would smell like a tannery.  He's pretty much perfect, and if you want to own one of em you're gonna have to send an email to criticalhit.info@gmail.com to enter the lottery for the chance to purchase.  Do it right now, cause Friday at noon Skinner is gonna send out emails to the lucky folks and you want that to be you, right?  Of course you do.  

Boshi Neko "Foofy" edition from Candie Bolton x Grody Shogun

 

    This toy is giving me mad flashbacks to back to school shopping for Trapper Keepers and trying on jeans for hours until my spirit was as chafed as my legs and being promised that I could get McDonalds if I didn't complain too much.  Do they even still make Trapper Keepers, cause those things were the best.  Except when those plastic little rings that held your papers started to wear out and wouldn't close all the way, or when you ripped one of the pockets and all your stuff would fall out.  Never mind, those things sucked.

    I don't know what kind of substances Lisa Frank needed to create her seizure inducing world of bright colors and baby animals, but you can't convince me they were made with a sober mind.  Candie Bolton has perfectly recreated that look with this Boshi Neko edition she has named after her own kitty.  It has that perfect ratio of "I'm adorable" and "I will murder you in your sleep", which is a delicate balance indeed.  These are available for preorder right now from http://www.lulubelltoys.com through June 1st or until the allotment runs out.

    

Alley Kids Enamel Pin Collection from Josh Divine

 

    Just like neck tattoos and chest length beards, enamel pins are suddenly not just for bikers.  Now they're cropping up everywhere, becoming just as collectible as the toys we all love.  So is it any surprise that the concept artist from Kidrobot is getting in on it with designs of his own?  Josh Divine (whose name sounds like he could be a professional wrestler who enters the ring to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me", which makes me kind of jealous, cause my name just sounds like it belongs in the police blotter) wants to introduce you to the Alley Kids, a collection of 12 characters that span all walks of life.  The first three to be announced include a skateboarder, a rocker chick, and a black metal dude who looks a little too happy to be that close to fire.  They are limited to 100 of each style and are available for preorder right now at http://www.alley-kids.com.  

 

Death is Coming Courtesy of Godmachine x Mighty Jaxx

   We have a cat named Jorah, who we try to keep an eye on at all times, because the moment you lose sight of him he is plotting your demise.  He's not malicious in any sense, but his manner of amusement usually ends with my wife and I debating whether or not stitches are called for.  There was a time when we thought we had maybe brought in some new species of wild cat, as all would be quiet one minute and the next he's riding our shoulders like a rodeo bull.  He's cute though, which is his saving grace.

    If I could keep an eye on any other being, Death would probably be a good choice, as he is equally prone to strike without warning.  Now Godmachine and Mighty Jaxx are giving you the chance to curb his shenanigans by inviting him into your home.  I would place that sucker right by the tv, cause that's what I spend the most time staring at.  He will be available beginning May 21st at 10am est from http://mightyjaxx.rocks.  

Bai Chu (Li Fu Edition) from Otto Bjornik X Stranger Factory

    When you think about traditional American horror films, the terror is usually confined to one specific area.  It could be a town, or an abandoned camp, or a haunted house, but generally if you can remove yourself from the scene you will live to see the sequel.  Not so much with Asian horror, as those bad dudes follow you around like they attached a GPS to your behind.  No matter where you go once you've come into contact with something that wants to kill you it's too late.   Kind of like shaking hands with a Juggalo.

     Stranger Factory will be unleashing these adorable yet somewhat deadly vampire figures from Otto Bjornik on Friday, May 20th in this exclusive colorway.  He comes with a removable magnetic talisman that helps calm his thirst for blood, is limited to only 35 pieces, and there's a special 1 in 7 gold chase figure as seen below.  Snatch one up when they go on sale through http://www.circusposterus.com.

   

Buck Weathers 8 Inch Dunny from Amanda Visell x Kidrobot

     Do you know how you get your farmers name?  You take the name of the street you grew up on and your dog's name.  Or something like that.  I ain't saying I know much about farming, but I have some bushes outside that are making me look like I do.  Seriously, they are banging and most likely making the neighbors jealous cause now all the birds and squirrels and chipmunks are hanging out at my place making it look like a Disney movie.

    This here is Buck Weathers, and he is simple country folk who doesn't appreciate your Dueling Banjos or Deliverance jokes.  What he does appreciate is chewing on his bit of straw and firing warning shots at anyone who tries to tip his cows over.  Seriously, why would you freaks want to push a cow down?  If you were really tough you would go bear tipping.

     You can get your hard working hands on this country bumpkin from Amanda Visell and Kidrobot on Friday, May 20th.  Oh, and it appears there are two different versions which my superior internet sleuthing has uncovered.

Celebrate the 2nd Anniversary of Bedtime Bunnies with Peter Kato at Woot Bear

   Oh snap, just when you thought Peter Kato's Bedtime Bunnies couldn't be any cuter, now they've gone and gotten slippers made to look like the Woot Bear logo.  There's actually a good reason for it too, as Peter and his little resin friends will be celebrating their 2nd anniversary of existence at the store on Saturday, May 14th.  From 6-9pm you can go and meet Peter (who is like the nicest dude in the universe) pick up one of these exclusive bunnies, and even score some bonus accessories for them    like one of these cat cups or ducks:

I would drink my juice out of these for the rest of my life.

    Each accessory is random and you get one free with each bunny.  The good thing too is that if you're not lucky enough to live in San Francisco you have nothing to worry about because these Bedtime Bunnies will be available online as well through www.wootbear.com.