New Splurrt Madness from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Oh my goodness, I'm so happy that I'm off this Saturday so I have a chance at one of these.  I'm hardcore eyeballing those Cadaver Kids with the Usir heads.  Those vinyl colors are giving me the teenage feelings, too (love you Neko Case).

    Splurrt and Lulubell Toy Bodega have teamed up to bring you another huge release on Saturday, June 4th at noon pacific time.  Gaze upon the items you could very well own, but leave me one of those Usirs cause as the otter says:

    You're only allowed one of each color of each figure, so you can get the complete set that you see pictured if you so choose.  

Kibbles and Labbits Blind Box Series from Kidrobot

    Kibbles and Lab-bits, get it?  Oh, you gotta love a good pun.  And who doesn't love puppies?  Sickos, that's who.  The only thing that could make puppies better, besides them being able to train themselves, would be to also make them Labbits.  So Kidrobot has done some genetic wizardry and combined your favorite breeds with Frank Kozik's little bunny dude and the result is this blind box series.  They will be available starting Friday, June 3rd at www.kidrobot.com or wherever else you buy your toys.

Edward Scissorhands Bishoujo Statue from Kotobukiya

  Oh, Johnny Depp is going through it now.  I'm sure he'd rather be in the news for that dumb Alice in Wonderland sequel than his relationship, but the later just happens to be better suited for television.  There used to be a time however, when his creative output could eclipse anything else going on in his life, like when he was the creepily pasty guy Edward Scissorhands.  Kotobukiya is hardening back to those days with this new Bishoujo statue that kind of looks like Winona Ryder taking over the title character.  This goth chick is available for preorder right now from www.kotous.com.

The Next Two Horrible Adorables Figures From Kidrobot Have Arrived

        Critter story of the week:  Sharon and I return from grocery shopping to find two chipmunks eating bird seed from below our feeder.  One was a baby and decided that it's best course of action upon seeing us would be to bunny hop each step on our porch and explore.  It was cute as hell but we were both loaded down with groceries cause we'll be damned if we'll make two trips to the car, so we kind of needed him to speed up his adventuring so he didn't really freak out and try to jump from the porch to the ground.  The bags got heavier as gravity pulled them closer to the ground and this little dude was just having the best time.  Finally we just gave up and waited till the fun ran out and he came down on his own.  I didn't say it was an epic critter story.

     Horrible Adorables and Kidrobot have released the latest two figures in their collaboration.  Expertly produced by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks, they are ready to find their forever home with you.  And all you have to do is dust them every once in a while, which is way less work than any real life pets require.  Get em now at www.kidrobot.com or wherever you prefer to buy your toys.

Celebrate Pay Day With New Releases from doubleparlour

     It's that time once again to fill your life with the bizarre, the exotic, and the esoteric courtesy of the resin stylings of doubleparlour.  Take a gander at some of the releases they will have on Friday, March 27th at noon pacific time, then direct your browser's attention to http://doubleparlour.myshopify.com to treat yourself to something nice.  Go on, you deserve it!

Josh Mayhem's Blown Away Dunny Enamel Pins

    Josh Mayhem hit a dang gone home run when he came up with his Blown Away Dunny customs.  Those things became increasingly harder to get with each release and if you don't have one I bet you wish you did.  Well, I can't help you in that department but I can help by telling you about his new enamel pins that immortalize his stroke of toy designing genius.  There's only 100 of em, and each one will come signed and numbered on the card.  You can snazz up you wardrobe when these are released Friday, May 27th at noon pacific time at www.joshmayhem.com.

Morgogg (Steel Bearing Hand) from Skinner

    It is important that when you welcome people into your home for a visit that you lay down the ground rules without the use of words, but merely through your decor.  People will try and trick you and get their mail delivered to your house and stay indefinitely without the benefit of monetary compensation, but rather than offend them with a sharp tongue I prefer to own things that will make them think that living with me would be worse than squatting in an abandoned campground.  Here's some tips that I have proven through rigorous field testing:

1)  Always keep your basement door closed and never offer to show it to anyone when you give a tour of your digs.  Yeah, you may have a sweet vintage Kiss pinball machine down there, but you also may have the mummified corpse of a gypsy who grants you wishes.  No one has ever been frightened away by Kiss pinball.

2.)  There's no such thing as owning too many skulls.

3.)  An altar on the back of your toilet to appease the child who may or may not haunt the bathtub goes a long way toward making someone wonder whether they could do their business in such an environment.  If you have two bathrooms fill the other with litter boxes.  Bonus crazy points if you don't actually have cats.    

4.)  Most importantly, collect some beastly looking toys to fill all your free space.  Make sure their wee beedy eyes are pointing at all times at the only places that guests can sit.  You'll be shocked and/or amazed at how fast they will pick up the excessive amount of suitcases they brought with them to Thanksgiving dinner and head off to search for the next sucker to take them in.  

    Skinner makes a living off of making your non toy collecting friends uncomfortable with his creations, like this dude Morgogg.  He's big, he's mean, and he looks like if he were real he would smell like a tannery.  He's pretty much perfect, and if you want to own one of em you're gonna have to send an email to criticalhit.info@gmail.com to enter the lottery for the chance to purchase.  Do it right now, cause Friday at noon Skinner is gonna send out emails to the lucky folks and you want that to be you, right?  Of course you do.