New WWE Pop Vinyl Figures from Funko

 

    Oooooh man, I tried my best to make this post as authentic as I could so I wrote it while watching RAW last night.  I was trying to channel some good wrasslin vibes from my tv to my iPad and make internet gold for you, or at least something nice enough so Kevin Owens doesn't block me on Twitter.

   Funko is set to release a bunch of new WWE figures this August just in time for Summerslam.  They've got three of my faves from the current roster in Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, and the aforementioned Kevin Owens, as well as Hall of Famer Brett Hart and Total Divas star Eva Marie.  Is it weird if I'm excited to buy them all and pretend to cut promos in the bathtub?  Try not to be jealous that you didn't think of it first.

    

"Twins" Shadow Black edition from Awesome Toy

    The Shining ruined a lot of things for a lot of people, but mostly only when those things were combined were they truly awful.  On their own there's nothing terrifying about writing a book (wait, scratch that) riding a big wheel, being secluded in a giant hotel, or a river of blood suddenly flooding a hallway.  But when combined, those very elements can turn what was only a mildly abusive husband with a bad idea into an axe wielding maniac who is no friend to bathroom doors.  But even without those other things, twins are sufficiently creepy all on their own.  That creepiness generally wears off the older that they get when they stop dressing alike and finishing the other's sentences, but what about if they were never allowed to get older and their ghosts are doomed to haunt unsuspecting tourists forever?  

   Awesome Toy wants to make sure you're never without a creepy set of twins to unnerve you with this pair of sofubi girls.  Just staring into their hollow eyes is enough to freak out the most jaded of us, so I personally think they would look best displayed in a room that you can lock at night and is preferably under video surveillance so the police believe your story when things go really wrong.  

    $150 will get you the set with a special background card recreating their infamous hallway, or you can get only one for half the fun and she alone will be $80.  Get em now at http://toyunderground.com/store/.

Magi Malificarum Sofubi Set from Martin Ontiveros X Toy Art Gallery

    I wish magic was real.  Not like "hey look how magical life is" kinda magic, but full blown wizard and dragons and lightning bolts from your finger tips magic.  I think I'd make a good wizard actually. Not like that wussy Harry Potter either, cause that's lame.  More like Gandalf but maybe with a wider mean streak.  I just don't want to limit myself by swearing to only being a good wizard cause that is a pretty big commitment and the last thing I'd want to do is handcuff myself with my powers.  I just might turn you into a newt if you piss me off, so you better realize that's on the table.

    If I'm going to become a wizard, which seems like a totally viable career option in this economy, then I'm going to need a mentor or three.  Oh my goodness, what timing for these little characters to enter my life.  Martin Ontiveros and Toy Art Gallery are releasing the first every painted run of their Magi Malificarum figures on Wednesday, June 8th at noon pacific time.  They're all colorful and glittery and somewhat menacing looking like they know secret spells that they don't ever use but totally could if need be.  Maybe they'll teach em to you, like dirty words in foreign languages.

www.toyartgallery.com

Otto Bjornik's Shah Mat Dunny Series from Kidrobot

    This Dunny set from Otto Bjornik and Kidrobot gives me major anxiety.  The designs are beautiful, the idea is brilliant, and I love the fact that I have the option to buy a complete set of figures in one fell swoop if I choose to.  What makes me anxious is the fact that in order to utilize them as a fully functioning chess set I would have to allow someone to touch them.  I get twitchy when people look at my stuff too long, so now I'm being asked to allow them to touch them with greasy fingers?  I wish you could experience me hyperventilate through the magic of the written word.  The obvious solution is that I would have to maintain the game board in a safe spot in my house, set up a webcam, and only play versus people living in foreign countries.  I am a genius.

    Of course, most of you are not weirdos (maybe) so you'll have no problem inviting your friends over for a friendly game of chess.  And this is way better than that "Heroes of the Civil War" set your pa-pa got from buying those Time Life books (though if you don't want yours I'll be happy to give it a home).

    You have two different options for obtaining these beautiful figures.  You can be sensible and buy the entire set, including game board, all at once. Or you can live dangerously and buy them as two packs in blind box form, which will include four tiles of the board.  Either way, you need these in your life, and that can happen when they are released on Friday, June 10th at www.kidrobot.com or wherever you procure your designer toys.

New Splurrt Madness from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Oh my goodness, I'm so happy that I'm off this Saturday so I have a chance at one of these.  I'm hardcore eyeballing those Cadaver Kids with the Usir heads.  Those vinyl colors are giving me the teenage feelings, too (love you Neko Case).

    Splurrt and Lulubell Toy Bodega have teamed up to bring you another huge release on Saturday, June 4th at noon pacific time.  Gaze upon the items you could very well own, but leave me one of those Usirs cause as the otter says:

    You're only allowed one of each color of each figure, so you can get the complete set that you see pictured if you so choose.  

Kibbles and Labbits Blind Box Series from Kidrobot

    Kibbles and Lab-bits, get it?  Oh, you gotta love a good pun.  And who doesn't love puppies?  Sickos, that's who.  The only thing that could make puppies better, besides them being able to train themselves, would be to also make them Labbits.  So Kidrobot has done some genetic wizardry and combined your favorite breeds with Frank Kozik's little bunny dude and the result is this blind box series.  They will be available starting Friday, June 3rd at www.kidrobot.com or wherever else you buy your toys.

Edward Scissorhands Bishoujo Statue from Kotobukiya

  Oh, Johnny Depp is going through it now.  I'm sure he'd rather be in the news for that dumb Alice in Wonderland sequel than his relationship, but the later just happens to be better suited for television.  There used to be a time however, when his creative output could eclipse anything else going on in his life, like when he was the creepily pasty guy Edward Scissorhands.  Kotobukiya is hardening back to those days with this new Bishoujo statue that kind of looks like Winona Ryder taking over the title character.  This goth chick is available for preorder right now from www.kotous.com.