Candie Bolton's "Rose Gold" Oh My! Yokai Set from Toy Art Gallery

    Times are hard for everyone as far as economics go, and if you're not Lebron James you gotta be smart with your toy buying money.  That means you need value for every dollar you spend, and one thing I know if you can't beat getting five figures for $75, especially when they're made of sweet Japanese sofubi.  It's the Ferrari of plastics and it's what makes up the Oh My! Yokai series from Candie Bolton and Toy Art Gallery.  But you're not gonna get these figures as blanks because they've even been nice enough to throw in a cool little paint job to bring out every detail in their masterful sculpts.  I'm starting to sound like an infomercial.  Snatch em up Friday, July 15th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

"Wildfire Edition" Autopsy Zombie Staple Baby from Miscreation Toys

   One of my favorite scenes ever from Game of Thrones is during The Battle of the Blackwater when Bronn draws back his bow, launches a flaming arrow, and ignites the ship loaded with wildfire thus destroying Stanis Baratheon's invading fleet.  That moment as it races towards the vessel is the most peacefully epic moment... right before it melts the flesh from those unfortunate souls.  It's pretty much the best way you can end a battle as long as you don't miss.  My luck I'd burn my hand on the arrow, double over in pain, and end up shooting Tyrion through the head.  The show would have taken a much different turn without the imp.

    Wildfire is dirty business but it sure is pretty to look at, which explains the vinyl color of Miscreation Toy's latest Autopsy Zombie Staple Baby.  Who knew an undead baby thing could be so attractive.  These will be available on Friday, July 15th at 3pm eastern time from http://www.miscreationtoys.com and I'm told will not explode if lit.  Unlike a real bloated corpse who will explode if you take a speed bump too quickly.  You only make that mistake once.
 

Super7 Vinyl Exclusives for SDCC

    I've never been to San Diego Comic Con.  Heck, I've never even been to California.  In fact I only crossed the Missipssippi for the first time in my life last year.  I'm not what you would call well traveled, but I've got spunk and by golly that's gonna carry me to the top!  Now I may just be simple caveman toy writer, but I know that Super7 is the booth with the goods at comic con.  Peep all the goods you can pick up at booth number 4945, including the debut of Bat Boy!!!!!!!

Watermeloncat from Rato Kim

    I have solved all of the problems that now face the world.  Ok, well most of them, because I think many of the world's issues stem from folks being miserable.  And you know what makes it impossible to be miserable?  The act of holding a baby skunk.  It's true!  I held one the other day and as his little face nuzzled under my chin there was absolutely nothing that could have upset me.  You could have tried, but you would have failed.  I have no idea how to implement this on a global scale, so I'll probably have to get Mark Cuban to help me out.

Happiness is a warm skunk.

    Ooooooh, maybe one of these Watermeloncats would be better.  For one you wouldn't have to feed them, and you'd never have to worry about bathing in tomato paste to counteract any spraying that may go one.  Rato Kim is offering these right now until the 13th and here's how you can get one for yourself:

- Name -
- PayPal account -
- WatermelonCat number -
- Residential land -
- Address -
- Contact -
- Select Shipping - 1 [EMS] , 2 [Air Small Packe] [Information] - SIZE [w4 / h4.5 / d5]
- PRICE [65 USD]
- Payment: PAYPAL
- EMS (3-7 days / Safe delivery.)
- Air Small Packet (7-15 days / I shall not be liable even if not to make delivery.)
- Asia 10 USD / Other 15 USD
- Plz, Email me for the order - [ ratokimtoy@gmail.com ]

"Got Milk?" Custom Night Gamer from Plaseebo

    Remember those got milk? campaigns where they took pictures of famous people with mil mustaches and that was somehow going to revive the dairy industry and get more people to drink the stuff?  I do, because I am lactose intolerant and was bombarded with images of Shaquille O'Neal reminding me that my bones will probably crumble to dust from a lack of calcium.  Then as a puddle person I'd be forever stared at and used as an example for parents to get their kid to finish their milk so they didn't suffer the same fate of having to crawl around on filthy floors like some shell-less mollusk man.  Welcome to my nightmare.

    Plaseebo's custom Got Milk? Night Gamer is much more innocent than all that, as he's just a dude trying to quench his thirst.  He would never judge you for your body's inability to process certain foods.  He's just content to sip his beverage and glow courtesy of a color changing LED light in his body.  You can welcome him into your home on Sunday, July 10th only from www.plaseebo.net.  

Shark Tank Action Figures from Biff Bang Pow

     I'm not gonna lie to you; I'm completely obsessed with Shark Tank.  I get so into it that you would think I had money to invest in anything other than lunch.  My wife and I spend the whole show dissecting their ideas, their pitches, and then determining the offers we would make.  It is without fail that we always want to invest in everything that never gets any money from the rich people, which may explain why we are not one of the rich people.  And it's always the dumbest stuff that ends up making the most money, like some dude will walk in and say "hey, check out my pills I made that can transform a dog's farts into the smell of fresh oranges" and everyone loses their minds trying to get him cashed up.  Then I see them in Bed Bath and Beyond and kinda want to buy them even though I don't have a dog.  I have a problem.

    Entertainment Earth has turned the stars of everyone's favorite investing show into action figures under their Bifff Bang Pow label.  They're debuting at San Diego Comic Con but you can get them for yourself by clicking the Entertainment Earth link to the right.  Bring em home and tell them all the great ideas you have.  The results will probably be better than yelling ideas at them in person.    Now if they'd only make figures for The Bachelorette I could finally act out all the fan fiction I wrote.

    

Amazonian Poultry Rex from Ron English X Toy Art Gallery

 

    Man they are reaching with these Jurassic Park sequels.  I'm guessing this is how the story would go:  scientists tried to breed a new, more docile form of dinosaur that visitors to the park could interact with and possibly even raise as pets.  They crossed Dino DNA with that of the common chicken in an effort to balance out their desire to kill. Needless to say, as they always do with these damn tourist attractions, things go horribly wrong.  This time the hero of the film is a descendent of Colonel Sanders who then opens a killer fried chicken joint with Flintstones size portions.  With ideas like this how in the hell am I still working a day job?

    The wings on Ron English's Poultry Rex aren't gonna fill you up, but those drumsticks look meaty as all get out.  Toy Art Gallery is releasing the first ever painted version of this prehistoric fowl on Friday, July 8th at noon pacific time on www.toyartgallery.com.  He stands 8 inches tall and most likely does not taste as delicious as it may look.