Frank Kozik x Frank Frazetta "Labbit The Barbarian" Print from Kidrobot

    You know who doesn't decorate their walls?  Weirdos.  I bet Ted Bundy never put so much as a Jimi Hendrix poster on his wall and look where that got him.  Luckily for you I am here to help you avoid traveling down that same dark road by telling you about this killer (no pun intended) poster from Frank Kozik.  This is of course inspired by his epic "Labbit the Barbarian" collaboration with the late great Frank Frazetta, which is the most manly piece of vinyl this side of a Manowar record.

Old Spice has taken it too far. 

    Increase your property value when this print goes on sale later today through www.kidrobot.com.  

Pink GID Calliope and Stingy Jack from Kathie Olivas and Brandt Peters

 

    Oh my goodness I know ya'll got paid today and are trying to get rid of that dirty cash cause that stuff is filthy and there isn't enough hand sanitizer in the world to clean those kinda germs but you can't just spend it on anything lame like school supplies so I'm here to help.  See, I'm pretty much an expert in making other people money and also helping them spend it.  Neither is a great mutant power, which is why the X-Men never return my calls, but their loss is your gain cause then I have time to find things like this for you.  I also haven't slept for days.

    Look how pretty that swirly pink vinyl is on these Stingy Jack and Calliope figures.  And it's not just decorative, cause those suckers glow in the dark!  It's an added bonus that will hopefully intrigue your cats while you're trying to sleep at night so they stop biting your toes.  You can get these two figures from Brandt Peters and Kathie Olivas when they go on sale later today at noon pacific time from www.circusposterus.com or n person at Stranger Factory.  They're limited to just 32 pieces of each, which is nuts.
    

Preorders Available Now for Ragnar The Metal Gnome from Jason Freeny X Bigshot Toyworks

 

    I just posted about this a few days ago and the gods have shown their favor towards you as preorders have now started for this killer figure.  The world's of Jason Freeny and Bigshot Toyworks collide in the most metal creature to ever stand guard over your vegetable patch...RAGNAR!!!!  Only 200 pieces exist of this beautifully dissected bro in this colorway and he's only $65, which is a steal for something this brutal.  Seriously, he's more brutal than what your mom's meatloaf does to my digestive track whenever I visit.  Woman needs to learn about take out.

   Secure him for your collection by visiting this link.  

Preorders Are Open for Huck Gee's and Mighty Jaxx's Gold Life Figures

    When I heard the phrase "Gold Life" I had images of living like a rap star with gold teeth and chains and maybe a 24k platted car that would one day get repossessed cause of that nightclub incident and the ensuing lawsuit that wiped out my fortune.  Of course I would make a pretty gangsta comeback by doing commercials for strip mall colleges that help you becomes a medical assistant and by being a clue on Jeopardy, all of which will rebuild my street cried and lead to my resurrection tour and my ability to catch up on my child support payments which the judge wouldn't lower even when times were tough.  Then soon after once I have regained my former glory I will OD on Sprite and cough syrup and then my hologram will go on tour and I'll keep releasing albums that were supposedly recorded before I died but I'm just low key dropping tracks from the grave because the peace from death has given me mad time to reflect and tighten my lyrical approach.  Not that I've thought this through or anything.

   In reality The Gold Life is a a world created by Huck Gee that is way more feudal Japan than early '90's Compton.  The first three figures from this new series are being produced by Mighty Jaxx and are available for preorder right now from just about anywhere that sells designer toys.  There's three different figures and at only $25 each it would be a crime not to get them all.  Not like a felony or anything, but still a crime.

Limited Edition Dissected Gnome from Bigshot Toyworks X Jason Freeny

    I was reading that the other day in Iceland a road crew had to go out and unearth a boulder they accidentally covered up because it pissed off the elves and they were taking their frustrations out on anyone who got close.  Not only did they dig it back up but they also pressure washed it to restore it to its former glory.  That would never happen in America because first we would have people fighting on Facebook as to whether the elves existed or not.  Then some idiot bureaucrat would figure out how much they owed the country in back taxes and send them a bill. Congress would probably pass legislation about which bathrooms they would be allowed to use, and people would have hunted them and made elf taxidermy earrings to sell on Etsy and none of this would have really been an issue to begin with because we would have taken their elven lands and put a strip mall there a long time ago.  I think I was meant to live in Iceland.

    I love the elves and their gnome kinfolk.  And I love black metal.  And I love anatomical gross stuff.  Has Bigshot Toyworks been camping out in my mind in an effort to create the perfect hybrid toy featuring all of my interests?  If somehow they could have worked cats and cable tv in I would have straight died of shock.  Not only is this metal loving gnome dude finally becoming a reality, but Jason Freeny has hacked off a section of him to let us all see his inner self.  This is the type of brutality that anyone starting a black metal band should aspire to, as setting fires and wearing corpse paint just isn't gonna cut it after seeing this.

    Only 200 pieces of  this dude will exist in the world and they will be up for preorder very very soon and also available at New York Comic Con and Designer Con it seems.  Keep up to date by checking out www.gnome.world.

Studio Kabuto's Cambrigon as Envisioned By Cop A Squat Toys

    

    "We're crab people now."  It's a simple, yet powerful quote from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia that is uttered by Charlie as he harvests sewage runoff crustaceans from the Delaware River.  He had planned to sell them on the street, until Frank gets a government bailout and the plan is abandoned.  Sharon and I have since used it to refer to any get-rich-quick scheme we come up with or when we're depressed and feeling rather destitute.  Abraham Lincoln never had any quotes that versatile.  

   Hopefully we'll never have to say it because we've actually grown giant claws in response to all of the beef hormones in our food, but it's nice to know that it's there in case we mutate.  Cop A Squat Toys has painted up a bunch of these crab looking dudes from Studio Kabuto and will be releasing them on his website Thursday, September 1st at 9pm eastern time.  

http://www.copasquattoys.com

"Ectoplasm" Edition Bake-Kujiru from Candie Bolton X Toy Art Gallery

   
    Prepare yourselves to be wrapped in the luxury that is marbled soft vinyl.  Allow your eyes to indulge in the subtle variations in color that enhance the beautiful sculpt of Candie Bolton's Bake-Kujiru figure.  You may ask yourself whether you are worthy of such earthly delights.  Even if you aren't, that's no reason to pass up this extremely limited release, because just having it in your presence could change your life for the better.  Flowers will smell better, kittens will feel softer, and that weird noise your plumbing is making will seem less like an impending issue and more like a symphony your house is playing just for you.

   Available this Friday, September 2nd at 6pm eastern time from www.candiebolton.com.  Limited to only 9 pieces.