Lottery Info for Paul Kaiju's Latest Hyper Kraken

    You know what you could do with an hour of your time?  You could be watching Westworld on HBO, which is like if Philip K. Dick had written Deadwood.  It's so good that you could just watch the opening credits and feel like you've just witnessed something magical.  Sharon and I marathoned the first three episodes and are now going through withdrawals waiting for the fourth.  The first episode was so good that the entire show could have ended there and you wouldn't have been upset.  You would have wanted more, but they packed so much story into it that it could have stood alone as a great art film.  Just go watch it and thank me later.  But finish reading this post first because that would be the polite thing to do.

    This toy is rooted more in the aquatic world of Jules Verne than science fiction, but that doesn't make me love it any less.  Paul Kaiju's Hyper Kraken is returning in the incarnation you see above and will be part of a lottery system this Sunday with an extremely limited window.  Beginning October  23rd at 6pm pacific time and lasting for only one hour, you will have the chance to enter via http://paulkaiju.com to be able to purchase this magnificent figure.  Cancel your plans, take your vitamins, and say your prayers and maybe you will be lucky enough to own one of these.  

A Unique Lottery from Lulubell Toys for Cure's Halloween Boogieman

    I get why people do lotteries for toys:  you have a little bit of product versus a lot of people that want to own it.  So you're leveling the playing field for everyone and you're able to take known flippers and ignore them like the turd bags they are.  They're all pretty much the same though in that you email your information and do a lot of praying that you win.  That's kind of boring.  So Lulubell Toys is gonna spice it up a bit and make you do a little bit of work as well.

    The toy up for grabs is the very seasonal Cure Boogeyman and Gee combo you see above and like I said the way to enter is not typical.  You have to take a photo that spells out the word CURE.   Then you do this:

1. Easiest way: post your photo to IG, hashtag #lulubellcurelottery and @lulubell_toys & @cure_uo ! Done.

2. If you do not have IG, email your photo to amy@lulubelltoys.com, along with your name, shipping address and PayPal email address & we will post your entry to IG for you!

    See, isn't that better than the same old way of doing things?  Unleash your inner Annie Leibovitz and impress the world with your creativity.

   

Halloween Pocket Pork Dumplings from Shawnimals x Squibbles Ink x myplasticheart

     My wife's cast iron stomach is the type of thing they make up folk tales about, but I don't know if she would even eat mummified pork dumplings.  Not that I would rule it out entirely either, because there have been times when we've travelled down roads that were only on forest service maps and not even GPS could find us that she probably would have considered it.  A month ago we were traversing through the Idaho back country (which is pretty much the entire state) and it was hours past our lunch time.  We were trying to see a bear in the wild because I have never seen one outside of a zoo and I have this idea that it would be some magical experience when in all likelihood I would be telling you a story about how the thing ended up carjacking us and we had to hitch a ride back with some sketchy fisherman who wouldn't stop commenting on how purty I was.  We didn't find a bear, but she was kind of lamenting the fact that we didn't try and cook the two dead salmon we saw in the river.  I was even hungry enough that I didn't think it was the worst idea I had ever heard.  

    You won't have to worry about intestinal worms with these aged pork dumplings though because their ability to brighten up your collection far exceeds their nutritional benefits.  These delightful creations from Shawnimals, Squibbles Ink, and myplasticheart are available now in blind boxed form and feature two different styles to obtain.  If you're like me and need them both don't worry, because if you buy two they guarantee you'll get one of each.  And they glow in the dark, which is an added bonus if you are stuck on a lonely dirt road and nightfall approaches.  Pick them up now at this link.  

"Old One" Fiberglass Cthulhu Sculpture from Colin Christian

     Is anyone watching the Presidential debates and just wishing that the idiot moderator would receive urgent news that Cthulhu has finally risen from the depths to put us all out of our misery?  Seriously, I feel like I'm on some bad reality show with this nonsense and if this isn't a pilot for NBC then maybe as humans we have just over stayed our welcome.  So I implore you to vote for the only candidate that makes sense; the one who's agenda is not paid for by big business and who respects all people no matter their race, creed, or credit score because as far as he's concerned we all make the same crunching sound when trampled on:

    That is really the extent of my involvement in politics, so let us move on.  Colin Christian has immortalized our future world leader in this stunning fiberglass sculpture that is ready to (possibly) protect you when the oceans swell and his minions are set upon us.  Hey, it might save you from getting eaten, you never know until you try.    

    There's two different versions with the first featuring a black finish and the second adding some metal flake to spice it up a bit.  These are extremely affordable and available right now by visiting http://sasandcolinchristian.bigcartel.com.  

Demonic Donny Resin Figure from Monsterpants

    And you thought you had some bad jobs in your life.  Could you imagine having the actual devil as your boss?  Good luck trying to update your Facebook status in the bathroom, or stealing office supplies for your at home craft projects.  Dude runs a tighter ship than a dolphin's butt and one that smells equally of digested fish.  Speaking of which (not butts, you freak, bad people to work for) Sharon and I were riding the train home from Comic Con and the dude across from us was watching footage of the employees of his restaurant on a tablet.  He was spying on the cooks, the wait staff, even zooming in on the diners as they ate.  That's the type of stuff you have to do when nobody respects you or realizes you're a licensed gun owner.  There's too much good tv on to be worrying about whether or not someone is trying to sell the cooking wine to the sketchy dude that hangs out back.  

    Monsterpants has amped up his resin productivity and has another new release waiting for you in the form of Demonic Donny.  He's doing the devil's bidding whether he likes it or not and if you were to ask him his job satisfaction is through the roof!  And it's still a better gig than working with children.  

    Add this employee of the month to your collection by visiting this link.  

One-Off Pumpkin Rage Daigomi Lottery from Guumon

    As toy collectors we all want that rare figure to make everyone else jealous that we alone have it.  To have in our possession the one thing that will make people bombard you with emails of cash and trade offers that you just brush away like the pathetic beggars they are, because you are the king, you hold the power to decide their happiness or misery and you will wield it like the sicko you are!!!  Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! 

    Maybe you're a little more mature about it, I dunno, but I'm not here to judge.  All I know is that you need this amazing Pumpkin Rage Daigomi from Guumon in your life.  There's only one of them in the entire world, which makes it as rare as anything can be unless somehow we figure out how to own things that haven't even been thought of yet.  Which if you've got some cash laying around I've got some killer ideas I'd be happy to sell you and in turn I would promise to never make them so you have the exclusive ownership of that thought.  Let the bidding wars begin!!!

    All you need to enter this lottery is stated at the bottom of the picture and you only have until the 20th to get your name in.  Do it and let it set the tone for the rest of your day.

   

    

The Unbox Industries Halloween Emporium Opens Today!!!!!

    Halloween is coming and for most people that means heading out to the store to buy decorations or digging a musty old box out of the attic that you only see once a year in order to bring the spirit of the holiday into your home.  I have no need of either because my entire home looks like Elvira was hired to design Pee Wee's Playhouse.  Every day passes for Halloween where I live, and there's no better way to keep that aesthetic year round than with some new toys to display.  

    Unbox Industries is opening their Halloween Emporium today at 6pm eastern time and will feature some brand new versions of some of the most twisted things they've ever produced.  Take a gander at what will be available and dig up the receipt for that boring junk you already bought to scare the neighbor kids.