Becky 23 from The Sucklord

    I don't know how people do the whole on line dating thing because anyone with any form of social media sees just how people manipulate their photos to look completely different.  Whether it's using extreme angles or downright Photoshopping unflattering areas, no one ever looks in person how they do on the internet.  The best is when someone you know in real life friend requests you and you can see their foul witchcraft first hand.  You know your coworker looks like a Kardashian (still yuck) on line but like The Iron Sheik in person.

    The Sucklord is always in the moment with his new releases, and he has captured that trickery with his latest figure, Becky 23.  She thinks she's from the Land of Coachella but in reality she looks like she just crawled from a cave in Land of the Lost.  Her old Sleestak face won't stop her from being uber picky and judgmental about her potential suitors though.  You gotta moisturize that reptile skin, boo boo if you're gonna keep such high standards.  Pick her up now from www.suckadelic.com, but make sure you have plenty of pumpkin spice in case she gets cranky.  That stuff is like a tranquilizer dart for girls like this.  

Breadcat Open Editions from Rato Kim

    I had a dream last night that Sharon and I had moved to New York and had this killer penthouse apartment with an indoor pool and all our cats were there just chillin and being rich.  But my black cat Icarus had made friends with a mouse and then fallen in love with her, only the mouse had a cat head instead of a regular mouse one (the cat head was to scale though so she didn't look like a mutant).  And somehow he and this mouse temptress would leave everyday and have adventures in the city and we'd only learn what he was up to based on his Instagram posts.  We had to sit him down and tell him about our concerns of him leaving the house and eventually the cat-headed mouse moved  in and we were back to being rich and chill with our indoor pool.  I swear there is something weird in that tea we bought from the Asian super market.

    Rato Kim has taken the resin world by storm with her Breadcat creation, and she's meeting the demand by creating a few made to order versions for needy collectors.  Choose from the tasty looking  Peachcat or get a bit outdoorsy with Woodcat and wrestle a bear or something.  Or you can go for the original that started it all with four different faces to choose from.  Add em to your collection by visiting her Etsy shop at this link.  

    

Lottery Info for Paul Kaiju's Latest Hyper Kraken

    You know what you could do with an hour of your time?  You could be watching Westworld on HBO, which is like if Philip K. Dick had written Deadwood.  It's so good that you could just watch the opening credits and feel like you've just witnessed something magical.  Sharon and I marathoned the first three episodes and are now going through withdrawals waiting for the fourth.  The first episode was so good that the entire show could have ended there and you wouldn't have been upset.  You would have wanted more, but they packed so much story into it that it could have stood alone as a great art film.  Just go watch it and thank me later.  But finish reading this post first because that would be the polite thing to do.

    This toy is rooted more in the aquatic world of Jules Verne than science fiction, but that doesn't make me love it any less.  Paul Kaiju's Hyper Kraken is returning in the incarnation you see above and will be part of a lottery system this Sunday with an extremely limited window.  Beginning October  23rd at 6pm pacific time and lasting for only one hour, you will have the chance to enter via http://paulkaiju.com to be able to purchase this magnificent figure.  Cancel your plans, take your vitamins, and say your prayers and maybe you will be lucky enough to own one of these.  

A Unique Lottery from Lulubell Toys for Cure's Halloween Boogieman

    I get why people do lotteries for toys:  you have a little bit of product versus a lot of people that want to own it.  So you're leveling the playing field for everyone and you're able to take known flippers and ignore them like the turd bags they are.  They're all pretty much the same though in that you email your information and do a lot of praying that you win.  That's kind of boring.  So Lulubell Toys is gonna spice it up a bit and make you do a little bit of work as well.

    The toy up for grabs is the very seasonal Cure Boogeyman and Gee combo you see above and like I said the way to enter is not typical.  You have to take a photo that spells out the word CURE.   Then you do this:

1. Easiest way: post your photo to IG, hashtag #lulubellcurelottery and @lulubell_toys & @cure_uo ! Done.

2. If you do not have IG, email your photo to amy@lulubelltoys.com, along with your name, shipping address and PayPal email address & we will post your entry to IG for you!

    See, isn't that better than the same old way of doing things?  Unleash your inner Annie Leibovitz and impress the world with your creativity.

   

Halloween Pocket Pork Dumplings from Shawnimals x Squibbles Ink x myplasticheart

     My wife's cast iron stomach is the type of thing they make up folk tales about, but I don't know if she would even eat mummified pork dumplings.  Not that I would rule it out entirely either, because there have been times when we've travelled down roads that were only on forest service maps and not even GPS could find us that she probably would have considered it.  A month ago we were traversing through the Idaho back country (which is pretty much the entire state) and it was hours past our lunch time.  We were trying to see a bear in the wild because I have never seen one outside of a zoo and I have this idea that it would be some magical experience when in all likelihood I would be telling you a story about how the thing ended up carjacking us and we had to hitch a ride back with some sketchy fisherman who wouldn't stop commenting on how purty I was.  We didn't find a bear, but she was kind of lamenting the fact that we didn't try and cook the two dead salmon we saw in the river.  I was even hungry enough that I didn't think it was the worst idea I had ever heard.  

    You won't have to worry about intestinal worms with these aged pork dumplings though because their ability to brighten up your collection far exceeds their nutritional benefits.  These delightful creations from Shawnimals, Squibbles Ink, and myplasticheart are available now in blind boxed form and feature two different styles to obtain.  If you're like me and need them both don't worry, because if you buy two they guarantee you'll get one of each.  And they glow in the dark, which is an added bonus if you are stuck on a lonely dirt road and nightfall approaches.  Pick them up now at this link.  

"Old One" Fiberglass Cthulhu Sculpture from Colin Christian

     Is anyone watching the Presidential debates and just wishing that the idiot moderator would receive urgent news that Cthulhu has finally risen from the depths to put us all out of our misery?  Seriously, I feel like I'm on some bad reality show with this nonsense and if this isn't a pilot for NBC then maybe as humans we have just over stayed our welcome.  So I implore you to vote for the only candidate that makes sense; the one who's agenda is not paid for by big business and who respects all people no matter their race, creed, or credit score because as far as he's concerned we all make the same crunching sound when trampled on:

    That is really the extent of my involvement in politics, so let us move on.  Colin Christian has immortalized our future world leader in this stunning fiberglass sculpture that is ready to (possibly) protect you when the oceans swell and his minions are set upon us.  Hey, it might save you from getting eaten, you never know until you try.    

    There's two different versions with the first featuring a black finish and the second adding some metal flake to spice it up a bit.  These are extremely affordable and available right now by visiting http://sasandcolinchristian.bigcartel.com.  

Demonic Donny Resin Figure from Monsterpants

    And you thought you had some bad jobs in your life.  Could you imagine having the actual devil as your boss?  Good luck trying to update your Facebook status in the bathroom, or stealing office supplies for your at home craft projects.  Dude runs a tighter ship than a dolphin's butt and one that smells equally of digested fish.  Speaking of which (not butts, you freak, bad people to work for) Sharon and I were riding the train home from Comic Con and the dude across from us was watching footage of the employees of his restaurant on a tablet.  He was spying on the cooks, the wait staff, even zooming in on the diners as they ate.  That's the type of stuff you have to do when nobody respects you or realizes you're a licensed gun owner.  There's too much good tv on to be worrying about whether or not someone is trying to sell the cooking wine to the sketchy dude that hangs out back.  

    Monsterpants has amped up his resin productivity and has another new release waiting for you in the form of Demonic Donny.  He's doing the devil's bidding whether he likes it or not and if you were to ask him his job satisfaction is through the roof!  And it's still a better gig than working with children.  

    Add this employee of the month to your collection by visiting this link.