The Backpack from Alex Pardee X Mighty Jaxx

    I have a cat named Jorah who likes to pounce on you and ride around on your shoulders when you aren't paying attention.  If you're lucky he jumps from somewhere high and lands squarely and sure footed.  If you're less lucky he will scale the back of your legs until he reaches his destination, leaving you with a trail of seeping claw marks along the way.  Sometimes I wonder if he sees himself as an evil genius a la Krang and I am just his monkey that he uses to do his bidding because I am taller and can reach the stuff he wants.  Sometimes I wonder if I overthink things.

    At least Jorah has never looked like he was going to bite my skull cap off.  Not like I would know anyway because we don't have room on our walls for silly things like mirrors, but this duo from Alex Pardee and Mighty Jaxx really puts his antics into perspective.  And their symbiotic relationship is still healthier than anything that's ever been on Dr. Phil.  Only 200 of these best pals were made and they are available right now for $120 at http://mightyjaxx.rocks.

   

1/6th Scale Michael Myers Figure from threezero

    Look, it's everyone's favorite murderous mute Mr. Michael Myers!  That was some crazy alliteration there, even by my standards.   I always dug the original Halloween and I liked the Rob Zombie versions too because they seemed plausible and that's what makes them scary.  Well, plausible in the fact that the dude escaped a mental institution and wants to kill all of his relatives, not so much in the fact that he can take six bullets to the chest and be totally cool with it.  You can only suspend disbelief to a certain point.  

   Not since William Shatner has anyone made a William Shatner mask look so frightening though, and threezero perfectly capture that in their latest 1/6th scale figure.  Look at those dead eyes staring right through you.  It's freaky.  And he comes with fun stabbing accessories which I'm sure you could put to good use on your sister's old Barbie collection.  Preorder him right now from http://www.threezerostore.com for $150 US dollars and get free shipping!  Just make sure you're alone when you open the box in case you scream cause I wouldn't want you to have to live with that shame the rest of your life.  

Halloween Honoo Cutie DX from Leecifer

    I have some advice from my youth for all you pyromaniacs out there:  don't stand too close to an open flame when you've just discovered grunge and insist on only wearing jeans that you strategically ripped.  See, cotton burns quick, and no matter how awesome those frayed knee holes are, you don't look like Eddie Vedder when you have to tear them from your body to prevent a stay in the burn ward.  And surprisingly, your teenage crush won't be sympathetic as you dance around in your tighty whiteys trying to stomp out the flames.  I've said too much.

     Honoo would never do you dirty like that though, cause while he may be his own disco inferno, he's always got your back.  This happy resin campfire from Leecifer is available right now in  limited edition of 10 pieces by visiting http://www.leecifer.com.  Add some heat to your toy shelf without the risk of a four alarm disaster.

"Hallowroot" Edition Mandrake Root from Doktor A x Toy Art Gallery

    The real mandrake root that this toy is based on is shaped like a little person and will supposedly make you trip until that band Phish is listenable.  I don't know why anyone would want to lose control to the point they're enjoying jam bands and I sure as hell wouldn't eat some human shaped yam for dinner, so the mandrake root really has no place in my life.  Plus, they don't sell it at Wal-Mart so I wouldn't even know where to get one.

    Halloween is the best time for toy releases because everything is guaranteed to be in a color scheme I like.  For example, this toy right here from Doktor A and Toy Art Gallery.  He's decked out in a perfect paint application for the season and he even comes with a little friend to do his bidding/grocery shopping.  What does an evil yam buy at the grocery store anyway?  Root shaped people?  Did this just turn into a Twilight Zone episode?  And speaking of the Twilight Zone, how come every time they air one of those marathons I only see the same ones over and over again?  There's a trillion episodes and no matter when I turn it on it's William Shatner freaking out on the plane because there's a diseased monkey on the wing.  Am I in the Twilight Zone while watching the Twilight Zone?  It makes my head hurt just thinking about it.

    You can pick this guy up beginning Friday, October 28th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

Halloween Tumble Tops from Inami Toys

    You could go out the day before Halloween on Devil's Night and release all your suburban aggression by hitting mailboxes with baseball bats or throwing perfectly good toilet paper into people's trees.  Or you could take the civilized route and stay home with your heathen friends, talk about whatever you're currently watching on the old tv (I hope it's Westworld) and play some parlor games that invoke simpler; less Purge-like times.  Enter Tumble Tops.  That was sooooo smooth you might of thought I was Billy Dee Williams. I get that a lot.

    Inami Toys has returned with his resin rock, paper, scissors game pieces that you can use with your friends or by yourself if you're more of a recluse.  They come blind bagged and feature three different designs with special marbled chase pieces mixed in.  Pick a few up when they go on sale today, October 27th at 9pm eastern time from www.inamitoys.com.

    

Monoghost Maroon Marauder from Super7

    At first I thought this dude was a "Moonghost" and I was thinking how that would be the most boring place anywhere to be a ghost.  There hasn't been anyone to haunt for decades and there's absolutely nothing to do but sift through the dust for treasure that isn't there.  The only worse place to haunt would be those steam rooms where gross dudes sit around in towels and complain about their tax incentives or whatever sweaty rich people talk about.  At that point who's haunting who, am I right?

    Ok, so this is actually a "Monoghost" and as you can see his looks make me think he still could be some sort of alien spectre.  You can quiz him about life on the other side yourself when he's made available from Super7 today, Wednesday October 26th, at noon pacific time.  Get him at www.super7store.com.

Becky 23 from The Sucklord

    I don't know how people do the whole on line dating thing because anyone with any form of social media sees just how people manipulate their photos to look completely different.  Whether it's using extreme angles or downright Photoshopping unflattering areas, no one ever looks in person how they do on the internet.  The best is when someone you know in real life friend requests you and you can see their foul witchcraft first hand.  You know your coworker looks like a Kardashian (still yuck) on line but like The Iron Sheik in person.

    The Sucklord is always in the moment with his new releases, and he has captured that trickery with his latest figure, Becky 23.  She thinks she's from the Land of Coachella but in reality she looks like she just crawled from a cave in Land of the Lost.  Her old Sleestak face won't stop her from being uber picky and judgmental about her potential suitors though.  You gotta moisturize that reptile skin, boo boo if you're gonna keep such high standards.  Pick her up now from www.suckadelic.com, but make sure you have plenty of pumpkin spice in case she gets cranky.  That stuff is like a tranquilizer dart for girls like this.