"Waiting for My J Man" Harley Quinn Statue from Mondo

    Look how beautiful this is.  If you didn't know better you would think that it's just a cute girl into dressing like a weirdo and listening to her records with nothing but possibility in her eyes.  The world is hers and she is gonna live life to it's fullest, with nothing standing in her way.  But instead you know it's everyone's favorite sociopath, waiting for her equally psychotic boyfriend to come home.  You'd also know that because this statue is titled "Waiting for My J Man", which kind of gave it all away right there.  

    Harley Quinn has never looked so fetching as she does in this work from Mondo.  Just look at that face:

    She sure is puuuuuurrty and she's available for preorder right now in two different forms.  The first one is $250 and is identical to the one you see at the top there.  The second one is a mere $10 more and features a collection of records that you can scatter about her as you wish.  Standing (or sitting) at nearly 10 inches tall, she can be yours by visiting https://mondotees.com.

    

Halcon Falcon Series 4 from Argonaut Resins

    I don't get how falconry works.  From what it looks like you just have to get a big leather glove, stand on top of a hill with your arm outstretched, and wait for a bird of prey to land on you.  Then you put a little mask on him while the bird is all "crap, I can't believe I fell for that after making fun of Mitch for the same thing."  Then you have an awesome falcon that is bonded to you for life and is sworn to do your bidding.  Think of the hijinks that will ensue!  Of course I could have just done a a Google search to learn about how it works but for one, I like the way I presented it better and two, the Internet is filled with those alternative facts and I'm not looking to be made a fool.

    The bird is indeed the word when Argonaut Resins releases series 4 of his Halcon Falcon resin figures tonight.  There's 10 different ones, they each stand nearly 3 inches tall, and they go on sale Tuesday, January 24th at 9pm eastern time only at http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com.

Unicorn Kiss from Lora Zombie x Eyes on Walls

 

    Sometimes I look at deer with their huge antlers and I wonder if they feel frustrated by having such things protrude from their skull.  I can't walk though the woods without getting hit in the face with a branch or having to turn abruptly to investigate a strange noise behind me, so imagine doing that with the equivalent of a chandelier on your head.  As cool as they look it just seems like they would bang into everything and things would constantly get stuck to them.  If unicorns were real that horn would probably get old just as fast.  They'd have to get each other to help remove all the stuff they skewered throughout the day.  This post has suddenly taken a dark turn.

   If unicorns were real they would placate their horn issue by kissing, like, all the time.  Seriously, Lisa Frank never prepared you with her neon notebook covers for how much tongue action these things require.  They kiss all day, they kiss all night, they kiss during family functions and other times where you think they maybe should just give it a rest.  A little conversation never killed anybody, guys.

   Lora Zombie and Eyes on Walls are pleased to release her first ever vinyl toy, appropriately titled Unicorn Kisses.  They come in four different colors, stand five inches tall, and are available right now for $25 each or as a set for $95 including a free sticker.  Get em all and let the whimsical love fest begin!  Whimsical Love Fest was the name of my first black metal band in high school, by the way.

Get em at https://www.eyesonwalls.com.

Fortune Teller CNY Edition from Paul Shih

     Putting faces on delicious snack food would probably be a great campaign to get people to eat better.  You could put all sorts of food critters in one of those ASPCA commercials with the sad music and everyone would be too heartbroken to ever eat cupcakes again because their pathetic little expressions are forever burned into your brain.  Not that it would stop me, because I love cookies too much to let their crying eyes put me off of desert.  I'm getting hungry thinking about it.

    Paul Shih is getting back in the toy game with these adorable Fortune Teller cookie dudes.  These are painted up to celebrate the upcoming Chinese New Year and wil be available Wednesday, January 25th at 2pm pacific time.  They are limited to only five pieces and priced at $45 each plus shipping.

http://paulshih.storenvy.com

New WWE Pop Vinyl from Funko

    Ooooooooh I love me some wrasslin.  I'm on a sports entertainment high note, because in a few weeks I'm gonna see NXT two nights in a row and I just found out Ring of Honor and New Japan Pro Wrestling are going to be in Philadelphia in May, which will be amazing.  I'm already too pumped and may have to go hit a neighbor with a steel chair.  

    Before I go and commit felony assault I'll tell you about the newest WWE superstars to be immortalized in Pop Vinyl form by Funko.  There's Kane, which I would have preferred the full mask  version, but that's just me being a nerd, and Shawn Michaels, who is to blame for me wanting to deliver "Sweet Chin Music" to every irritating soul I come across.  Believe me, they deserve it.

    These are both Walgreens exclusives so start looking for your nearest one now.  

Red Glitter King Negora from Max Toy Company

    Cats are already pretty sure they rule the world, so imagine how inflated their egos would be if they were also sparkly.  They would take it as proof of their divinity and probably make us clean up their waste, or get up in the middle of the night to play with them, or any number of other activities that makes us their servants.  Wait a second...

    I love my kitties though, probably more than is deemed socially acceptable, but I think they're the best.  And there's no better way to honor them than by filling your home with plastic statues in their likeness such as this King Negora from Max Toy Co.  This 10 inch tall kitty is shiny like a diamond and available for pre order right now for $150.  Secure yourself one before they're all gone by visiting www.maxtoyco.com.  

The Magma Coolie Gnaw from Plaseebo

    This dude is looking swole, like he's about to run Hulkamania wild on you!!!!  There's nothing you can do, because once the Magma Coolie Gnaw has flexed on you it's time to throw down.  This beast from Plaseebo can be your eternal sparring partner when he goes on sale today (Wednesday, January 18th) from www.plaseebo.net.  I hope you've been saying your prayers an eating your vitamins.