Asphaerius from Yuck Toy Co.

    You know how you grab everyone's attention and sell a crap ton of new toys?  You cut a wrestling promo to advertise your product.  Now for those of you that don't know what a promo is, watch this classic one from The American Dream Dusty Rhodes:

     Oh I know you are pumped for the rest of your day now!  If you're not then we probably can't be friends, so go ahead and watch it a few more times till you feel it, brother!

     So Yuck Toy Co. painted up his face and laid the smack down to let everyone know about his release of Asphaerius.  This little resin dude is still available through http://yucktoyco.bigcartel.com and comes with a bunch of stickers and a mini wrasslin' dude so you can start your own league right at home.  Each figure is sold blind bagged and available for only $25!!!!!!

     

The Cast of Rogue One from Forces of Dorkness

    I know the Internet is filled with fake news and alternative facts, but I read the other day that they had to shut a bunch of rides down at Disney Land because someone spread a dead relative's ashes on them.  I don't know how this all went down, but I'd like to think they got into the front seat of Splash Mountain, threw their hands in the air, and just let the wind do the work.  That way it's just like they were taking one last ride on all their favorites, while anyone sitting behind the mourners spent the rest of their day picking charred human remains from their eyelids.  It really is the happiest place on earth!

    In case you haven't noticed, neither Jyn Erso nor any of her esteemed rebels from Rogue One made an appearance in the original Star Wars waaaaaay back in 1977.  That's because they were all roasted.  Oh dang, I forget to yell "spoiler alert."  Though I'm sure if George Lucas was still involved in the storied franchise he would have found a way to digitally insert their ghosts into the original films, causing my head to literally explode as if it had been fired upon by the Death Star.

    Forces of Dorkness has created the ultimate collectible for the Star Wars fan in your life with this bag of ashes from the characters.  Who exactly your mixture will contain is a complete mystery and thats half the fun!  Pick one of these up right now from http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com.

    

The Patron Saint of Halloween from Sam Heimer

    I need this!!!  Of course it would drop on a week in which I just bought a rowing machine so I can get all swole and have NXT events two days in a row.  But I need this and that need may push me towards ignoring my attempt at fiscal responsibility and coming to terms with the fact that things like this make me happy and that's what's really important right?  And if it's for my mental stability I'm pretty sure I can write it off on my taxes next year as a health care expense.  I have a very liberal accountant.

    This is The Patron Saint of Halloween from Philadelphia artist Sam Heimer, which is one of the best resin releases I've seen in a long time.  Though I am a bit partial to Halloween decor, and he's from a city I spend a lot of time in, but just look at this thing.  You know you want to fill your shelves with them.  And you can when they go on sale tonight (Monday, February 6th) at 8pm eastern time from samheimer.etsy.com.  There's 20 in black and 25 in orange which and they're only $20 each for this debut release.  Do it.

Slate Gray Wolf Thing Bat Mother from Joseph Harmon x Toy Art Gallery

    I live in an area that is home to arguably the most mysterious critter in history: The Jersey Devil, but he's not really celebrated in the ways you would expect.  Dude has been relegated to cute little bumper stickers and stupid shirts with him bar tending at a local watering hole.  There's no statue honoring his place in American folk lore, no yearly celebration with a parade and devil shaped balloons for the kids.  Talked about a missed opportunity for tourism that extends beyond people wanting to go to the beach and leathering up their skin.  I wonder how much a big bronze statue costs?  Maybe I should put a Kickstarter together.

    The Wold Thing Bat Mother from Joseph Harmon looks like he stepped out of a very bizarre folk tale and right into your heart.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery, this slate gray version will be available today, Friday February 3rd, at noon pacific time for $35.  Secure yours at www.toyartgallery.com and make up your own baby snatching stories, nail them to every tree you can find, and wait for the panic to ensue.  There's nothing like working the villagers up into a torch wielding frenzy.

The Blaming One from Kosrobot x Novelty Haus

    There is nothing worse then doing something dumb and not being able to figure a way to blame it on someone else.  Even if the consequences aren't grave, you've gotta be able to at minimum trace it back to something that may possibly explain your actions.  "Yeah, I guess I'm maybe not the most qualified to give the dog a haircut, but maybe if my father had been there for me when I was a kid things would have turned out differently."  That dog looked really good once everything was evened out, by the way, so you're welcome I guess.

    This resin dude from Kosrobot can supposedly be found wandering the universe pointing his finger and blaming everything g he encounters for his space station going kaboom and killing him dead.  So I guess he's like a super annoying space poltergeist who instead of breaking your dishes and slamming your doors he just goes on about how you're the cause of his misfortune.  Typical dead space guy.  You can get one for your collection right now from one of my favorite stores Novelty Haus.  Check it out at http://www.noveltyhaus.com and let him give you a lesson in the blame game.

Band Camp 3000 Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

   

    You know what genre of music I just can't abide?  That no matter how much of it comes out I just can't find anything remotely listenable?  New music.  New music is the absolute worst.  New country music, new rap music, new rock music, it doesn't matter because I have hit the age in which it all sucks.  What's really bad is if you try and listen to the radio it's either new terrible stuff or the same five bands over and over again until you begin to hate that too.  Sometimes I'll be driving around and I turn it to whatever station is playing commercials.  What is wrong with me?

    These Labbits are going to fix it all though, I can just tell.  They're going to make me revert to my teenage self when music was new and adventurous (no pressure at all there, guys).  They're getting a heavy does of practice in at Band Camp 3000 and they've certainly got their work cut out for them to bring me out of my old man funk.  I'm thinking the alien dudes are gonna have the most success.

    This blind boxed series from Kidrobot is available right now from www.kidrobot.com and wherever designer toys are sold.
  

Cyclops-X/ Prototype 1 from Plaseebo

    The bathrooms at Penn Station in Manhattan always remind me of the den of some horrible creature.  The walls are filthy with substances that would defy medical science, people are having conversations with the ghosts of previously devoured meals, and no one in there right mind would enter there if it wasn't deemed a life or death situation.  I was passing a kidney stone the last time Sharon and I were in New York and it was only in that desperation that I dared tempt the foul beast.  Luckily he didn't appear, but some crack head was waaaaaay too close behind me at the urinal to let my guard down.  He must have been one of the true beast's lesser minions.

    Plaseebo has out done himself in the nightmare creating department with this guy.  I have no problem believing he's out there terrifying some village by dining on its residents.  You can own this one of a kind horror show when he goes on sale today (Wednesday, February 1st) at www.plaseebo.net.  If you have kids he would look awesome under their bed.