Southern Fried Gentleman from Bigshot Toyworks

    Well I do declare, if it isn't everyone's favorite chicken man reimagined by Bigshot Toyworks.  No fried chicken lover should be without one of these figures paying homage to the ultimate poultry baron.  And just like everyone has their favorite recipe, there are different versions of this jolly fry daddy to meet your specific tastes.  You've got your regular, which is limited to 100 pieces and your uber rare old timey and golden crispy versions which are limited to 20 pieces each.  All three are available right now from https://bigshottoyshop.com.  

Suck-Pop Gay Empire Pin from The Sucklord

    Not everything you want to do in life is practical.  For instance I'm never going to headline Wrestlemania and I've lightly come to terms with that.  And you are never going to be able to wear one of The Sucklord's resin figures on your jean jacket without having your mental stability questioned.  But fear not, because the always enterprising man behind the brand has solved that problem with this new enamel pin.  For a mere $13 you can take the essence of The Sucklord wherever you go.  Stick it right next to your Def Leppard patch and feel confident as you entire into any business meeting.  Pin it to your lunch box and make that peanut butter and jelly sandwich look like something Gordon Ramsey would punch a baby to eat.  Pierce your ear with it and learn all about infectious disease from your trip to the emergency room.  The possibilities are limited only by your imagination/pain threshold.  

Available now from http://suckadelic.myshopify.com

The Crimson Bust from ETC Toys

    Remember last year when everyone was so stoked on The Misfits reunion and they played two shows and then we all sat with bated breath hoping for a full blown tour?  Yeah, I remember.  What are they waiting for?  I've been patient and it doesn't seem like it's going to happen.  I found an interview Danzig did with The New York Times saying those two shows were it, but supposedly they're fake news so I choose to disbelieve it.  Let's make music great again, people!

    Maybe it's time to hold out hope for more practical things, like winning the lottery, but that doesn't mean we have to let it completely die.  ETC Toys has created a run of Crimson Busts in homage to the greatest punk band of all time and you can own one when they go on sale today, Wednesday March 1st.  Available only from http://www.etctoys.bigcartel.com in an edition of 5, these will go up at noon pacific time.  

Geisha Tomorrow Queens from 3A

    I never understand why they would bother training attractive people to be assassins.  They are the least inconspicuous because everyone is always watching them.  If someone that looks like Heidi Klum walks into a room and kills someone, no matter how discreet it is, you will hear the most detailed eyewitness testimony in the history of the American judicial system.  You would think everyone was handed a script to read from.  That's because attractive folks always have other people staring at them, especially if someone was abnormally attractive like how Hollywood always casts these characters.  They couldn't sneak an extra puff pastry without everyone in the room knowing, let alone deliver a lethal dose of poison to an arms dealer.  

    All eyes would definitely be on these ladies from 3A, but they don't look like they're here to take the subtle approach to their business.  Not that you could anyway walking around with sticks like that.  Nope, once you commit to that sort of weapon you're going in melee style and taking down whoever gets in your way.  These 1/6th scale beauties will be available starting this Friday, March 3rd, from http://www.bambalandstore.com for $140 each.  

The Backpack Invisible Edition from Alex Pardee x Mighty Jaxx

   I'm a bit worries that this toy is based on something that can happen to me in real life.  That someday I'll be walking down the street and an evil imp will drop from a tree and latch on to my back like a barnacle.  Upon securing himself firmly to my central nervous system, he will then force me to follow Nickelback on tour all around the country and refuse to chip in for gas or the therapy I'll need after having to witness Nickelback play 28 times in a row.  You're lucky I'm here to help keep you safe by bringing awareness to such fictional issues.

    Alex Pardee resides in Florida, which is the state I would expect to have something like this happen.  After all they still have dinosaurs roaming around and everyone rides ATV's to work.  This is The Backpack, which like Human Centipede, is a name that seems to down play the seriousness of the affliction.

    This crystal clear edition was produced by Mighty Jaxx and is available right now by visiting http://mightyjaxx.rocks.  Study it and find the cure before it consumes us all!

    

Glamour Girl Vase from Dita Von Teese

 

    Yeah so technically this isn't a toy, but it is a collectible and I want one so that's good enough for me to write about it.  You can be liberal like that when you're the boss. And speaking of bosses, the queen of burlesque Dita Von Teese has gotten into the ceramics game with this glamour girl vase.  Made in the style of the very collectible vintage editions, each one is not only beautiful but also utilitarian and can hold flowers, paint brushes, or your collection of restraining orders.  I would bet in her line of work you have to dole one out every once in a while just to let people know you're not playing around.

    Add some glamour to your collection (lord knows it could use some) today for $65 by visiting https://shop.dita.net.

New Work Available Now from Colin Christian

    Admit it, you need some glitter in your life.  You need some super sparkly things to hang on your wall but what you don't need is the unwritten rule of glitter, in that you will find bits and pieces of it everywhere for the rest of your life.  Put glitter on something just once and you will find it in your eyelids, on your cats, at your desk at work and anywhere else you can imagine.  Inviting glitter into your home in its raw form is like watching that tape from The Ring.  Glitter is the girl in the well in case you didn't see where I was going with that.

    Fear not though, because Colin Christian has ensured that any of the shiny stuff he uses in his beautiful sculptures will stay exactly where it's intended to.  And he has used quit a generous amount of it in his new work, all of which is available right now.  Seriously, put a spotlight on one of these and you'll be seeing those purple blobs every time you blink your eyes for at least a week and a half.  They are literally stealing light from other galaxies to reflect back at you in glorious fashion.   This is but a sample of the work he has up right now at http://sasandcolinchristian.bigcartel.com.  All of it is beyond affordable, so go and add some original art to your life.