I Spent My Sunday at a Horror Convention

**drool**

    Horror conventions are a weird thing.  I like horror movies enough, but when you go to a convention you realize people live that as a life style.  There's an entire wardrobe that goes along with it, a required number of stickers that must cover the rear of your car, and an affinity for wet specimens that I'll never possess.  Sharon and I used to go to these more often, but they're pretty much the same thing every time and I always felt out of place because of my stellar credit score.  I just can't commit on that level to one genre of being, as I like to think I have a more diverse amount of interests than just watching fictional murders occur.  Wow, that sounds like a really weird thing to be into doesn't it?

    We went this time because it had been a few years and because we wanted to meet former WWE Superstar Lita, who may or may not have been my biggest crush in my late teenage years.  Lest you think I was just looking to gawk at a celebrity my younger self found attractive, Sharon was a big fan of hers as well.  We got there and went to see her right away, got a signed picture, shook her hand (which was pretty soft for a professional wrestler.  She must have a killer moisturizing routine) and giggled internally like little school girls.  Having accomplished our sole mission it was now time to peruse the various booths and be persuaded to part with our hard earned money.  Spoiler alert: we were not persuaded to part with our hard earned money.

   There were a few good set ups filled with new and vintage toys, but those were far outnumbered by the amount featuring bad taxidermy/the aforementioned wet specimens, and people who turn regular stuffed animals into weird zombie things.  Seriously, there is an entire underground industry where they make thrift store Care Bears into blood thirsty monsters.  A little paint, some Halloween prosthetics, and you've got the perfect gift for that hard to buy for member of the Manson family.

  We ditched the convention pretty quickly and did the thrift circuit on the way home.  At one stop I got a bit distracted by a crow who was yapping at us and proceeded to lock the keys in the car.  In the ignition.  While it was running.  In my defense crows and ravens are my favorite birds and I've had some fun interactions with them as they are very curious about humans.  This one called a few of his buddies over and if I didn't know better would have sworn they were laughing at me as I was on the phone with AAA.  I'm sure they were just being supportive.

    The only thing I bought, at a Goodwill directly after the car incident, was this plastic cat wall hanging thing, which I plan to paint in black metal style.  It was a $1 and called to me to be repurposed.

Ignore the price tag, cause this pretty kitty was on sale!

    In that same store we also witnessed something I have never experienced while thrifting.  An announcement was made over the loud speaker that merely said "household goods" and people started heading towards the back of the building.  A moment later two employees wheeled out some metal racks loaded with newly priced merchandise.  They parked them right in the middle of the floor then quickly got out of the way.  They barely made it to safety as people swarmed from all sides, grabbing whatever they could as if they were gold plated.  You know that scene in the new Mad Max where Immortal Joe turns on the waterfall and people lose it trying to fill their containers?  It was just like that but less reasonable.  Sharon got pushed by an elderly woman into a baby who probably started crying because he missed out on the busted rice cooker and not from any injury he sustained.  Probably.

    And thus our day was complete.  Ladies, be jealous that your man doesn't understand romantic dates the way I do.



   

GID Patron Saint of Halloween from Sam Heimer

    Our cat has been weirdly obsessed with all of our appliances recently.  He makes me nervous every time I start the dishwasher that I've locked him in there so I always double check it.  The top of the stove is his favorite place to hang out and today he tried to get into the microwave multiple times.  I think he's got some sort of ideas in his mind that they're going to help him develop super powers which will make us unable to stop him from going on the porch and trying to eat the plants.  His evil delusions of grandeur aren't necessarily on the scale of total world domination, but those plants have tormented him for too long and apparently need to be punished.  I'd rather he curse them from behind the safety of our living room window.

    He may not become the next Spider Man, but if he managed to get into the microwave he may just glow like this Patron Saint of Halloween from Sam Heimer.  Only 30 of these resin masterpieces exist and you can snag your very own tonight, Monday March 13th, at 8pm eastern time.  Snag one at https://www.etsy.com/shop/samheimer.

Orange Bake-Kujira from Candie Bolton x Toy Art Gallery

    I'm typing this as I watch NXT and the crowd is completely dead.  I find it hard to enjoy a show when the crowd is library quiet, which makes me happy to live in the rather boisterous North East.  You go and see a show in Philadelphia and you don't know whether to watch the audience or the ring.  We're pretty notorious for our terrible behavior at sporting events but once you're there and a part of it you get addicted and need that energy to enjoy yourself.  Otherwise it's how I would imagine a James Taylor concert to be.

    This Bake-Kujira from Candie Bolton and Toy Art Gallery is looking quite nice in Philadelphia Flyers orange.  It's a beast of a figure standing 11 inches tall and the only way to obtain one is by winning a lottery.   You can enter beginning tomorrow, Friday March 10th through Tuesday the 14th via email at sales@toyartgallery.com.  If you're lucky and you win the purchase price is $150.  And only enter once because otherwise you'll be disqualified for being annoying.  Do you know how much of a dream it would be to kick people out of my place of business for being annoying?  I'd be broke, yet oddly satisfied.


   

Review Time Suckas: Metallic Skeletor Hikari from Funko x Tenacious Toys

   It's been a hot minute since I've done one of my patented world famous reviews so why not review a Hikari figure from Funko.  I've got a few Pops hanging around the homestead but I've never dabbled with their homages to Japanese vinyl, so when Benny from Tenacious Toys asked if I wanted to check one out my curiosity took over.  Behold the results of my investigative study featuring Skeletor.

    First and foremost while the box advertises the figure as Japanese vinyl, the tag hanging from the toy makes it clear that it is inspired by the popular medium in its hand made production and paint application rather than being exactly the same.  The plastic definitely feels similar to my sofubi figures, but I'm far from a scholar on producing toys so I have no idea whether or not they're using the same stuff your favorite artists are.

Product may contain up to 90% blood of thy enemies.  

    Now let's get to what's actually important:  is the toy cool or not.  As a collector I buy stuff based on how it looks and whether or not I like it, not how or where it's made.  You could make a toy out of recycled toilets as long as it looks awesome.  And I'll be honest with you, the Hikari style works better on some characters than others but I think this Skeletor is a win.  He translates well, possibly because he's monster-ish and fits with what I traditional think of as a Japanese toy.  And he looks tough enough to whoop He-Mans behind.  I mean, anyone with a fleshless skull for a head has got to be tough right?  You don't have to work that hard at it when you're bringing that to the table.

    He features three point of articulation located at his arms and neck, so he can point at you in accusatory fashion:

You both smelt it and dealt it.

Ask for hugs:

I'll be gentle.  

Turn and look at you sideways when you say something dumb:

Your opinion was not thoroughly researched.  

Wonder where the hell you're going when he tries to hug you:

I said I'd be gentle. 

    But does he have that one feature that is most important in all Masters of the Universe figures; that one element that proves their authenticity beyond any shadow of doubt?  Does he have a fuzzy pair of man panties?

    There you have it folks.  His butt is indeed covered with the finest of yak hair.  I could have just led with that and saved myself a whole bunch of typing.  

    In conclusion: I went into this not really knowing what to expect but came out of it with a greater appreciation for the product.  If I had hated it I would have told you because I have zero poker face, but it's honestly a cool figure at a price that won't make you have to choose between the collectibles you love and eating dinner for a week.  Again, not all of them are for me, but there are a few more I wouldn't kick out of bed if they found there way into my house.  I meant that exactly as it sounded.

     Tenacious Toys now has this and a bunch of other older Hikari figures at very affordable prices that make them great for customizing as well.  You can find Skeletor, Astro Boy, Optimus Prime, Creature from The Black Lagoon and a ton of others to add to your collection.  Check out the entire line at this link. 

The Debut of Dust Catcher Magazine

    Despite claims to the contrary, the printed word is not dead.  There's something about the feel of actual pages that you can flip and the weight of a work in your hands that can't be replicated by digital means.  And so Dust Catcher Magazine is set to debut tomorrow (Thursday, March 9th) having been printed by actual machines and mailed to your doorway.  It's an English language publication made in Germany that focuses on illustration, character design, and collectibles.  Two of the first artists to be featured, Elegab and Pepe Hiller, have even created exclusive toys to coincide with its release:

    These will be available starting at 11am eastern time from https://www.dustcatchermag.com.

Micro Tuttz and Pharaoh Hounds from Argonaut Resins

   My wife and I have a pact that if one of us isn't home the other won't watch shows that we both love.  That leaves me with some pretty bad options, such as Tiny House Nation.  I like shows where they make things, so that parts cool, but I just can't get behind living in one of those.  The idea is noble, until you get the stomach flu and your significant other can't escape the horrors of it because the bathroom is in the living room which doubles as the kitchen/litter box.  Relationships need some mystery and a decent level of air quality.  And I freely admit that I love stuff way too much and would have a hard time limiting myself to what could fit in a hatch back.  Our walls are packed with art and there are things surrounding us that make us happy, so I can't see the benefit of saving money if you're trapped in what amounts to a hipster prison cell.  Now if there's a show out there that will build me a castle on a mountain with tons of wall space and a moat I would apply right now.

  Some things are ok in smaller versions though, like these Tuttz and Pharaoh Hounds from Argonaut Resins.  These little dudes are 3D printed in resin and perfectly sized to fit in the little nooks and crannies of your collection.  Check em out now over at http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com and add some of these insanely affordable ($15 for 2 figures!!) critters to your regular sized house for grown people.

Aliens Warrior Classic Toy Edition from Super7

    On the tail of the trailer for the brand new Alien film and just a few weeks after debuting at Toy Fair, Super7 is making this big ol figure available for preorder.  I've racked my brain trying to think of something funny to say but I'm drawing a blank.  Have I lost my touch?  Is it time to start writing about high school football for the local newspaper?  Will we ever prove that Ted Cruz is in fact The Zodiac Killer?  The future looks cloudy, but if you want to own this eighteen inch behemoth of a toy you can do so by visiting www.super7store.com.  He'll set you back $195, but if money is truly the root of all evil you should be trying to rid yourself of it anyway.  After you buy one of these send me the rest of your tainted cash and I will dispose of it so it can't hurt anyone ever again.