Fuchsia Fight Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

     Fuchsia is one of those words that look like a terrible idea when you're typing it, as it come dangerously close to being a vulgarity.  Then you realize that the word is derived from the German botanist Leonhart Fuchs and you begin to feel terribly sorry for him during his high school years.  That's a pretty brutal last name to deal with during your younger years, right up there with Weiner or Butts.   Maybe "right up there" wasn't the best phrasing I could have used.  

    This new Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju is the ultimate tribute for any 16th century plant loving dude.   Available via lottery from Toy Art Gallery, you can enter from this Friday April 7th until the lottery closes on Monday, April 10th.  Just send an email to sales@toyartgallery.com with Luftkaiser Lottery as the subject along with your Paypal address and shipping details.  Only enter once though, or you'll get disqualified and feel like a dummy.  

  

Doro Sofubi Preorder from Remjie Malhan

    Do you know that the Vikings didn't just raid and drink mead, but also traded with nations around the world in a civilized fashion?  Items from Asia and Egypt have been found in graves of folks long dead, who really are the last people you should be disturbing during their eternal sleep.  Go ahead and wake up a Viking poltergeist to haunt you, that'll end well.  The stuff is fascinating though and last year I finally got to see some of it in person when they did a traveling exhibit in New York.  There was also a Star Wars costume exhibit as well, so we did both back to back as they are two of my favorite things in the world and them being in the same place at the same time was too much to pass up.  By the end of it I felt like I had been in a mental car accident with how overwhelmed I was by it all.

    The Norse are making their presence felt in the East yet again as world renowned toy painter Remjie Malhan prepares to debut her first sofubi offering.  Entitled Doro, this crazy looking dude is in production as we speak and blank figures are now being made available for preorder.  You can choose from cyan, milk white, green, or orange and buy as many of them as you like.  To get one all you have to do is this:

To place a pre-order send an email to "contact@remjie.com" with your
- name, address, phone number
- paypal address
- colours and amount of toys you want to buy

    You have until April 30th to get you orders in and they are estimated to ship in July.  

   

Fauxyard Dunny Series from Boro Bronson and Corner 12

     I took a ceramics class in high school for the same reason that I took three years of French: to meet girls.  Having seen the movie Ghost I knew that the way to a woman's heart is through a pottery wheel, and I was ready to sidle on up like the spectre of Patrick Swayze.  Much like my terrible French accent, ceramics was a total bust and I only made it of the class with a lopsided bowl and a really wonky looking mini toilet that I thought was so clever.  Spoiler alert: girls don't find wonky toilets endearing unless you also have a car that isn't a busted '84 Cadillac in beautiful primer gray that had as much a chance of starting the first time as I had of getting a phone number that wasn't a tow company's.

    My experiences with clay are as described above, but Boro Bronson has mastered the art of polymer on a geometric level.   He's created an entire Dunny series for Corner 12 that are covered in these clay tiles that create a mind blowing pattern all over the figures.  I don't have the patience for such work, as my eyes would cross and I would quickly find something new to do.  Each comes packed in a wooden box and will go on sale today at 12:12pm pacific time at www.corner12.com.

Funko Fools Day at Mothership in Philly

    April Fool's Day is typically reserved for making us all look dumb.  You can't believe anything anyone tells you unless you see proof that has been notarized with a verifiable chain of custody and sworn to under penalty of death.  Even then you still have to be suspicious, cause some folks would literally die to pull a fast one on you.  Fear not though, for there is safe harbor for you on this day filled with lies because Mothership Art Gallery and Designer Toy Store is hosting Funko Fools Days.  You can trade Pop Vinyl figures, see crazy custom ones, or just hang out until you are safe from all trickery.  Everything you need to know is in the picture there and if I'm reading it correctly they even have snacks!  I ran out of snacks days ago but hate going to the grocery store so instead I just complain about it.  

  

"Blown Away" Coarse Omen Figures from Josh Mayhem x Collect and Display

   
    What exactly do birds do in wind storms?  They're so light I just picture them being blown all over the place and then having to make their way back home after the bad weather passes.  Do they have little birdie basements like we do so they can huddle together amid their canned goods?  Surely I could have typed it into my Google machine and easily found the answer, but instead I chose to give you something to ponder at work.  I am nothing if not an expert at wasting time.  (BTW I totally Googled it and the results are fascinating.)

    Josh Mayhem has added his patented wind swept look to a few of Coarse's Omen figures that are an exclusive to Collect and Display.  They are a limited edition of only 12 pieces and will be for sale Friday, March 31st an noon pacific time from https://collectanddisplay.com.  Each one will cost ya $273 American dollars, or the average price of a movie theater soda and popcorn combo.

Gold Sparkle Uglier Unicorn and Shaggy Little Unicorn from Rampage Toys x Tenacious Toys

    Genetics are a great roll of the dice.  Do you ever see a couple that looks like they may have been raised by a family of possums but they have offspring that are beautiful?  The reverse happens all the time too, making you wonder whether someone is letting the waters of their gene pool fill with leaves and dead frogs.  For the love of God cover it with a tarp!

    It's a good thing this Uglier Unicorn from Rampage Toys is at capacity with inner beauty, because his mug is way closer to bridge troll than Brad Pitt.  His companion Shaggy Little Unicorn is all pretty on the outside, but darkness fills her every nook and she will cut you.  These pals are cast in gold sparkle sofubi and are an exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  Unfortunately just like when you have to partner up in science class, the pretty ones are already all gone, but the ugly dude can't wait to breath on your neck while you dissect that frog.  He is like, the nicest guy I swear, and at $35 a fairly cheap date.   

Get him now at www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Voltar Resin Figure from H H Toys

    H.H. Holmes was America's first serial killer and was hung by the neck for his crimes in what is now the parking lot of a grocery store in South Philadelphia.  He is not to be confused with H H Toys, who while also being from Philadelphia have chosen to ply their trade in resin figures rather than murder.  While they may not have a fancy metal placard outside of the super market, the making of toys is more likely to keep them off the gallows.  Except in Texas, as their laws seem deliberately vague to fuel the lucrative death row industry.  Think about it: one trip to the chair is like running a thousand inefficient air conditioners in hundred degree summer heat.  I ain't payin that bill.

    Himmelstass Heimbach Toys are unleashing their latest creation, Voltar, on Wednesday March 29th.  He comes complete with a crystal ball filled with all sorts of information about your future.  Like a casino buffet some of it is good, some of it is bad, but most of it will give you gastrointestinal distress.  This first edition is limited to just 50 pieces and can be found on the aforementioned date starting at 8pm from https://www.etsy.com/shop/samheimer.