Vote For Me In The Seventh Annual Designer Toy Awards

     Ok, real talk people:  The United States is not known for our prowess when it comes to elections.  World War III is in the tiny hands of a man with a third grade reading level, so now's the time to dust off those Mad Max DVDs and pick up pointers on our future way of life.  We need redemption and we need it fast and while me winning Best Blog at The Designer Toy Awards won't stop the inevitable, I hope it can bring a smile to all of our faces before they are mutated forever by radiation and incapable of showing emotion.  Hopefully our new reptilian overlords will be gentle.  

    The best part of voting in The Designer Toy Awards is that there's no electoral college nonsense to screw it up.  Your vote matters and whoever gets the most wins.  Now don't just vote for me (do it first though) but also the wonderful folks who are up in the publicly voted categories.  Oh, and if I win you don't have to pay back your student loans (that is not true).  Get your democracy on at www.designertoyawards.com.  

Color Changing Dunnys from Naptime Noah x Corner 12 x Kidrobot

    Usually when stuff changes color in my house I assume a cat has peed on it.  I've been right a few times, especially when it comes to this chair in my living room, which we got as a bonus when we bought our couch off of a Craigslist ad.  That was when Craigslist was new and exciting and answering a post didn't mean a future appearance on the side of a milk carton.  I'm starting to wonder why they were so keen to make us take this chair as well, which at best coordinates nicely with the couch but in no way looks like they would have been purchased together.  I probably should have had someone from the crime lab check it out to make sure there wasn't any usable evidence for one of their unsolved cases.  I just figured they thought my wife and I looked like a nice young couple who was trying to furnish their first place on the cheap, but the fact that one of my cats is trying to cover a mysterious scent with pee pee makes me wonder what happened on it.  It's probably best I not know.

    Now that I've dissuaded anyone from ever wanting to sit on my furniture, it's time to tell you about something more pleasant.  Naptime Noah may be well known for his spontaneous bouts of micro sleep, but starting today he will now be known for creating an exclusive line of color changing Dunnys for Kidrobot.  They will come in three different sizes (3 inch, 5 inch, and 8 inch)and feature three different ways to alternate their color patterns.  Through the use of heat, cold air, or just shifting them in the light, you'll be able to transform them in ways no Dunny has ever before.  

    These will be available today, April 25th, at 9am pacific time only from www.kidrobot.com.  

Five Points Festival Exclusive Dunny from Gary Ham x Kidrobot x Clutter Magazine

    This May the east coast is finally getting a designer toy show to put us on par with our west coast friends.  With a show comes plenty of exclusives, including this Gary Ham Dunny from Kidrobot.  The yellow version on the right is extremely limited and only available as an incentive for buying a VIP ticket.  The other two will be available at Clutter Magazine's booth #243 for $14.99 each.  You can get a peak at the edition size to see just how rare these will be in the photo below.  Tickets and further info about Five Points Festival can be found at http://fivepointsfest.com.  I already know where $30 of my money is going. 

Pink Chrome Mister Melty from Buff Monster

       This thing sure is purrty.  Chrome is a great finish for anything because it's somewhat fancy but somewhat trashy at the same time, depending on what it's applied to.  Chrome parts on your motorcycle are fancy, but if you chrome out a the car sitting on cinder blocks in your front yard and turn it into a beer cooler, that's kinda trashy.  Though is you have a car like that in front of your house putting some chrome on it might be considered an attempt at beautifying the neighborhood and thus keeping code enforcement at bay.  I guess it really comes down to perspective.

     You don't need much sense to realize that this pink chrome Mister Melty is fancy as hell.  I don't know how they managed to make this half sofubi half resin dude so shiny, but the results are pretty cool.  You can add one of these rare birds to your collection this Friday, April 21st at 10am est from www.buffmonster.com.

How To Improve Easter: A Family Guide for Putting Your Kids to Work

    When people conceive of ways to highjack holidays and turn them into greeting card money grabs they should put more thought into it besides financial gain.  I'm looking at you Easter and whoever it was decided to create the Easter egg hunt.  Now I've partaken in my fair share of them when I was a child, but it wasn't until my later years, more specifically last Sunday, that I noticed a huge missed opportunity.  Instead of hiding plastic eggs filled with candy we should utilize what is already strewn about our Earth and not provide treats for a child's ability to spot garishly colored items, but instead reward them for ridding our landscapes of trash.

    To accomplish this we must change the mythos of the Easter Bunny just slightly.  Now he leaves each child a pair of puncture proof gloves and a metal trashcan that they can spend their morning decorating in preparation for the afternoon's hunt.  Once their Easter cans are as festive as can be the race is on to fill one's container with as much refuse as they can possibly stuff into it.  Barely able to carry the fruits of their labor, each child will then be able to exchange their trashcan for a boatload of seasonally themed candies of their choosing.  Thus, you will have raised little heathens that realize work can be fun AND rewarding at the same time in that it benefits them and their environment.  Of course not every child will jump on the band wagon of the new landfill treasure hunt, and they will quickly learn that laziness means that sugar cravings will not be met for another year.  Don't have a yard of your own?  Find an empty lot and all the fun life lessons it may contain.  You cannot be a man of the world unless you can readily identify what you just stepped on as a crack pipe.

   I'm coming for you next Columbus Day and I'm coming armed to the teeth.  

Morgogg amd Ogos Teal Blanks from Skinner

    If you think getting a a blank Morgogg or Ogos figure from Skinner himself was a thing to celebrate, you'd be right.  Just by themselves these figures will elevate your collection to Master P MTV Cribs status.  Their limited availability alone at only 10 pieces each would easily bring you to that baller status, but Skinner is raising the stakes even higher by throwing in 10 original 5x7 art works for 10 lucky people that are able to score one of these plastic behemoths. That's right, half of the people that order these figures will also get some original art to hang on the wall.

    Look at these drawings!!!!!  Hell, these are alone worth the price of the figure and will make some lucky sons of guns very happy.  Once you own original art I imagine the invitations start pouring in for museum openings and you probably get to sit next to Kanye at fashion shows.  Can you imagine all the crazy stuff he'll try to talk to you about?  It will all be just about him, but you'll just have to realize that any connection you make will be completely one sided and he's not the dude to call when you're feeling a bit depressed.  Not that I know anyone like that who just can't let me vent for two seconds without trying to one up me on the "had a bad day" scale.  Just listen Kanye, just listen.

    These will be available at noon pacific time today (Tuesday April 18th) from https://shopcriticalhit.com.

WWE's The Undertaker Bearbrick from Medicom

    When I was around 12 or so the WWE came to the Richmond Coliseum in Virginia for one of their non-televised shows.  After much begging and pleading I convinced my stepfather to take me and we were able to get tickets along the railing where the performers would walk on the way to the ring.  The Undertaker hadn't been in the WWE long, but already he was one of my favorites and the sole reason I wanted to attend that day.  I remember when his ominous music came over the loud speakers, the lights of the arena dimmed, and out came the largest human being I had ever seen in my life.  I don't remember much else about the day, just the sense of awe I had standing next to someone who was bigger than life both physically and through the character he portrayed.

    I wish I could have been there this year when he retired at Wrestlemania, but my wife and I did have the chance to see one of his last matches a few years ago and that was cool to share with her such a memory from my childhood.  You can relive your favorite moments of The Phenom with this new Bearbrick from Medicom.  The 100% version is on sale now from this link for around $14 US dollars, while a much larger version is teased in this pic:

    I might just have to break down and order one of these for myself.