Rotten Rexx and Diceratops GID Garage Kits from James Groman x Lulubell Toys

    So your career as the dude who glues dinosaur skeletons back together for the Smithsonian hasn't taken off quite as you've expected.  Whose career really pans out the way you dreamed it in first grade anyway?  If it did there'd be a whole lot of really weird and probably unnecessary jobs out there.  There would be so many ninjas that most would find themselves unemployed.  And "Han Solo" sounds like a fun job, until you realize that being a fictional space smuggler won't keep you current on your child support parents.  But for the dinosaur bone dudes, I've got a solution to your depression.

    From no until June 30th at 5pm pacific time, you can preorder these amazing glow in the dark garage kits from Lulubell Toys.  These dino pals are the creation of James Groman and come completely unassembled just waiting to be put together by you.  It's not too hard as long as you have a hair dryer and some anger issues to work through.  You can get a complete kit for $235 each plus shipping and you can get a different head for $65.  Mix em around to suit your mood or mount one on the wall like some twisted prehistoric trophy hunter.  Put those diy skills to the test at www.lulubelltoys.com.

Blind Bag Cadaver Balls from Splurrt x Toy Art Gallery

   We've all been there: that awkward moment when you're a kid and you find a good cadaver to play with but your parents get all freaked out about germs and the police and whatnot.  But you've already named your cadaver Bob and you share all your best secrets and you made plans to Weekend at Bernies him to show and tell.  Don't be a buzzkill, mom!

    Cadaver Balls from Splurrt and Toy Art Gallery are made of sofubi, so unlike your friend Bob they won't leave questionable fluids on your carpets or introduce your home to corpse flies.  And Cadaver Balls come with four interchangeable heads, which is three more than Bob ever had (and four more than he had after our fishing trip and that ravenous catfish).

     These are sold blind bagged so you can't pick your color, but you can buy up to 3 of them when they go on sale later today at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

Two New Shows Opening Friday at Stranger Factory

   Anyone can put on one art show with no problem, but it takes cunning, skill, and a bit of psychosis to do TWO art show openings in one place in one night.  But that's exactly what Stranger Factory is doing tomorrow night when they open Toy Makers of Planet Earth and Bats in the Belfry.  

   The first show will feature some of the top toy artists on the planet including:

Mark Nagata, Brandt Peters, Jess Hernandez, Otto Björnik, Sergey Safanov, Junker Jane, Jen Musatto, Silk and Thistle, Victoria Rose, Lana Crooks, Daniel Talone, Steve Ferrera, Scott Radke, Stan Manoukian, JShea, Eric Althin, Kathie Olivas, Sweet Bestiary, Mudmonkey, Tanya Marriott, Art Toy Maison, Vanessa Ramirez, Fanny Kao, Cassia Harries, Sumrow, Tim Lee, Joe Scarano, Aya Kakeda, Ratokim, Munktiki, SeriouslySillyK, Super Secret Fun Club, Scott Wilkowski, Psycho Scimitar, Mizna Wada, Circus Posterus, VTSS, Black Seed, Mr. Clement, and Bob Doucette

    While the second show will feature customs of Brandt Peter's The Night King figure, with interpretations by:  

Camilla d’Errico (pictured), Jellykoe, Drilone, House of Boz, Dolly Oblong, 64 Colors, Tasha Zimich, Igor Ventura, Ian Ziobrowski, Joe Whiteford, Brandan Styles, Ink Visuals, Otto Björnik, Jess Hernandez, Victoria Rose, EL DODO ALBINO, Tokyo Jesus, Kathie Olivas, Brandt Peters, Tim Lee, Joe Scarano, Cassia Harries, Karl Deuble, and SeriouslySillyK

   The opening reception for both show will happen tomorrow night (Friday, June 2nd) from 6-9pm at Stranger Factory In Albuquerque (thank God for spell check) New Mexico.

Milky Bloom Hyper Kraken Raffle from Paul Kaiju

 

    Ok, here's the best case scenario the world can hope for right now:  That idiot from North Korea fires a nuke and it lands in the ocean, mutating sea creatures into massive kaiju, then all the nations of the world band together in some kumbayah moment to vanquish the beasts and save humanity from becoming a great source of protein.  And then America's idiot and all of his cronies fly out to check the damage but one of the monsters wasn't quite dead so it swallows their helicopter whole.  Yeah, maybe I did just write the prequel to Pacific Rim, no big deal.

   Paul Kaiju's Hyper Kraken looks primed to attack an island in the Pacific at a moments notice.  This Milky Bloom beauty will be available via lottery this Sunday, June 4th at 6pm pacific time.  You only have a half hour to enter for a chance to buy one so act quickly.  And if you know Guillermo Del Toro, pass along my movie idea.

Alien Lazer: Gums Version from Michael Skattum x Gums Productions

    Sharon and I have been marathoning the Alien series of films the past few days and we finished last night with Alien: Resurrection which I wouldn't call a high note in the franchise.  Sure, you might have gotten some of the best looks at the creatures themselves, but there was so much weird dialogue and Sigourney Weaver playing basketball, that it just made it uncomfortable.  You're seriously rooting for the aliens to just decimate all of them and Earth because that's were all the lameness started.  And what was with the weird alien/human hybrid at the end, who I named Skin Tag, becoming the third out of four aliens to die by being sucked into space.  Granted the hole he was pulled through was much smaller and sent him out in bits, but after the basketball scene I was expecting Ripley to put some WWE moves on him to end his day.  Hindsight is 20/20, and Joss Whedon wrote the thing so what do I know.

    There's no way that Alien Lazer would take a loss against a rag tag bunch of space idiots.  nope, this figure is the real deal and I know because I bought one from Michael Skattum at Five Points Fest and I love it.  And this thing is way bigger than I expected, because even though something online tells you how tall it is I have no ability to comprehend that in real life terms.  This green version is an exclusive to Gums Productions, who are the folks that produced this monster (and did a great job at that, those seams are tight) and will be available for purchase on June 5th.  You need this and you can get it only from shop.gumsproductions.com.  

    

Porcelain Temper Tot from Ron English x K. Olin Tribu

   Holy crap this baby is swole!!  I've been telling you for year that beef hormones are doing some freaky things to us and this is proof positive.  Dude is gonna go to preschool and run it like a prison yard.  He'll probably be taking the teacher's lunch money, make her drive him to McDonald's, and buy himself four Happy Meals.  This kid is my hero.

   This scary baby was created by Ron English and cast in porcelain by K. Olin Tribu in a limited edition of only 50 pieces.  Each one comes in a wooden box with a certificate signed by Ron.  The shame you will feel with how puny your muscles are is a bonus.

    Get yours at www.kolintribu.com

WWE's Iron Sheik Pop Vinyls from Funko

  

    If you're not following The Iron Sheik on social media then you are missing out on some of the greatest gems the internet has to offer.  How no one has created a talk show with this guy is beyond me.  You get him a desk, some celebrity guests, and just hit record to document the magic that is sure to follow.  This is one of the reasons I need to be rich, so I can fund things like this and make the world a better place.  The Sheik has the answers, you just have to be willing to listen.

   In the realm of things that are long overdue, this is at the top. The Iron Sheik is finally getting the Pop Vinyl treatment from Funko and he swears you better give him the same place of honor in your home that you would afford The Pope or he's gonna break your back and make you humble.  

    There is a regular edition and a chase version and they will be available this summer wherever respectable toys are sold.  And in the meantime go watch his movie and get some damn inspiration in your life.