Join The Underwear Mutant Parade with Emilio Subira

    Parades are weird.  One of my only parade memories involves Santa riding by on a fire truck in Richmond, Virginia and throwing those strawberry candies with the soft stuff in the middle towards the crowd.  It was the first time I'd ever had those and then years went by before I ever saw one of them again so I assumed the only way to get them was from parade Santas who rained them down from passing municipal vehicles.

   I have a great appreciation for the name of something being a complete description of exactly what it is.  The Underwear Mutant Parade from Emilio Subira leaves little to chance, as you have a gang of mutants (a veritable parade if you will) clad only in the tightest of whities.  Brilliant!

These plastic freaks are available right this minute from emiliosubira.storenvy.com for all your gift giving needs.

It's doubleparlour Friday!!!!!!!

    As the title of this post would suggest, it is indeed doubleparlour Friday!!!!!!  Now while the banks and post office may be open, and you will also find it next to impossible to locate the appropriate greeting card, you will be able to score unique creations from this talented duo.  Gaze up some of today's offerings and cancel your plans for noon pacific time, because you should find yourself glued to https://doubleparlour.myshopify.com ready to strike.  

Baby Proto Villain from The Sucklord

    There was a time in the not so distant past when I was all about collecting Star Wars.  But some of you might have noticed that they produce literal tons of that stuff every year, so I narrowed my focus down to just Darth Vader figures, because he is my favorite character from the films.  Others of you may have noticed that they would release new Darth Vader figures all the time but they were the exact same just repackaged in hopes no one noticed.  I played the game for a while but forced myself to abandon it because no matter how you arranged the figures you could not as a matter of fact build a suitable living structure from them, and to own them all would require my mortgage payment to be a tad short every month.  Sometimes practicality stands victorious.

    The Sucklord has taken my favorite character from my favorite movie and made him small and cute.  This Baby Proto Villain comes bagged with a header card and is available right now for $45 from www.suckadelic.com.  

    

Half Ray Dunny from Jason Freeny x Kidrobot

    Uggh, my guts feel like the great heathen army has made landfall and is systematically destroying all they come across.  What god I have angered I have no idea, but I would happily produce a written statement apologizing for my misdeed.  I won't print it though, because I need to buy more ink and that stuff is expensive.  I've been milking this last cartridge down to fumes.

    There's something to be said for having most of your guts outside of your body and making it easy to diagnose all that ails you.  That something would most likely sound like "gross" or "yuck" from everyone that comes across you, but they're probably just jealous cause you are so unique.  Having your guts on the inside is so 2016.  

   

     Set the trend with Jason Freeny's new Half Ray Dunny from Kidrobot.  This anatomical wonder stands 5 inches tall and was bio engineered by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks.  He (or she I suppose) will come in both white and the Kidrobot.com exclusive black edition with glow in the dark innards.  Both will be available tomorrow, Friday, June 9th, to add a bit of modern art to your cabinets of curiosity.  

Kidrobot SDCC Exclusives are Available for Preorder Now

 

    Are you going to San Diego Comic Con?  If so, I'm very jealous, but also you should go right now and preorder all these Kidrobot exclusives.  Why stress yourself to the point of insanity on whether or not you'll be able to get one of these when you can ensure that they're waiting at the booth for just you?  The other great thing about preordering is that when you're at the convention it feels like you have way more money to spend because these will have already been paid for.  It's a great way to psychologically trick yourself into getting more awesome toys.  This method has been completely tested and proven by me as 100% effective.

    Get your preorder on by visiting https://sdcc.kidrobot.com then sit back and relax knowing that awesomeness is awaiting you to merely show up (with a valid ID that matches your Comic Con name badge).  Gaze upon all that could be yours:

   

Rotten Rexx and Diceratops GID Garage Kits from James Groman x Lulubell Toys

    So your career as the dude who glues dinosaur skeletons back together for the Smithsonian hasn't taken off quite as you've expected.  Whose career really pans out the way you dreamed it in first grade anyway?  If it did there'd be a whole lot of really weird and probably unnecessary jobs out there.  There would be so many ninjas that most would find themselves unemployed.  And "Han Solo" sounds like a fun job, until you realize that being a fictional space smuggler won't keep you current on your child support parents.  But for the dinosaur bone dudes, I've got a solution to your depression.

    From no until June 30th at 5pm pacific time, you can preorder these amazing glow in the dark garage kits from Lulubell Toys.  These dino pals are the creation of James Groman and come completely unassembled just waiting to be put together by you.  It's not too hard as long as you have a hair dryer and some anger issues to work through.  You can get a complete kit for $235 each plus shipping and you can get a different head for $65.  Mix em around to suit your mood or mount one on the wall like some twisted prehistoric trophy hunter.  Put those diy skills to the test at www.lulubelltoys.com.

Blind Bag Cadaver Balls from Splurrt x Toy Art Gallery

   We've all been there: that awkward moment when you're a kid and you find a good cadaver to play with but your parents get all freaked out about germs and the police and whatnot.  But you've already named your cadaver Bob and you share all your best secrets and you made plans to Weekend at Bernies him to show and tell.  Don't be a buzzkill, mom!

    Cadaver Balls from Splurrt and Toy Art Gallery are made of sofubi, so unlike your friend Bob they won't leave questionable fluids on your carpets or introduce your home to corpse flies.  And Cadaver Balls come with four interchangeable heads, which is three more than Bob ever had (and four more than he had after our fishing trip and that ravenous catfish).

     These are sold blind bagged so you can't pick your color, but you can buy up to 3 of them when they go on sale later today at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.