Bozu Takigyo Edition from Planet 3 Toys x Lulubell Toys

    I learned today that Takigyo is a Shinto purification ritual that is done through meditation under a waterfall.  It is similar to the ritual I do under the shower every morning called "try and build up the strength to deal with crazy people at work."  I should probably come up with a shorter name for it, but as great as the English language is it does have its limitations.  Now the German language, that's something to behold because they have words for just about any situation one might find themselves in.  I don't know any of them off the top of my head, but say that I fell off of my donkey while on the side of a mountain and rolled into a wasp's nest.  Undoubtedly the Germans have one single word that would sum it up so we could all move on with our lives.  

    Planet 3 Toys is celebrating the one year anniversary of their Bozu figure's debut with this marbled Takigyo edition.  You know I love marbled vinyl, so I am crushing hard on the different tones of blue.    Standing three and a half inches tall and complete with a hand made tag, this little dude will retail for $30 each plus shipping when he goes on sale this Saturday (July 15th) at 10am pacific time from Lulubell Toys.  

https://www.lulubelltoys.com

Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct 1/4 Scale Figure from Blitzway

    Is there a scene in movie history that caused such a commotion for teenage boys around the world?  Now for those of you youngsters that don't know, this movie was originally released on VHS, an archaic medium that used large magnetic tape to store a film.  There was no internet, certainly no Youtube, so when word got around the school that Sharon Stone exposed her most secret of secrets on film you had to put in work if you wanted to see it.  You had to find someone whose parents owned the tape, then they had to somehow sneak it out of the house, then you either had to have a group viewing (which was gonna lead to some awkward moments) or you had to pass it around your circle of friends which could theoretically take a month until everyone saw it.  All of this while the kid who borrowed the tape was nervous that he was going to get the beating of his life if he got caught.  You kids have no idea how easy you really have it.  

    There is a 100% chance that the first thing anyone does when they buy this is to check its anatomical accuracy.  Now I don't know whether or not they got every detail (you freaks) but Blitzway certainly seems to have had no problem reproducing that famous interrogation scene.  This figure is over a foot tall and about as realistic as you could possibly get without traveling back in time and paying the real Sharon Stone to hang out in your living room.  Trust me, this is more affordable and won't lead to a restraining order.

   You can pre-order this right now from Bluefin for $429.99 with an expected release date of February 2018.  

Red Eye Cyclops X / Prototype 2 from Plaseebo

    I've never bought into the fact that cyclops are scary creatures.  Yeah, they may live in caves and make wind chimes from the bones of their victims, but unless you are already horribly injured or just dumb there's no way a cyclops is catching you with just a club.  They only have one eye, so their depth perception must be crap, right?  What are the odds that the dude is gonna play whack a mole with a bunch of sailors who mistakenly landed on his island?  As long as you're not standing around like a doofus you should have no problem escaping one of these guys.  That is my mythological creature survival tip of the day.

   For what he may lack in being able to judge distances, Plaseebo's cyclops bro more than makes up for in terrifying looks department.  This one of a kind resin/vinyl amalgam stands almost 9 inches tall and of course lights up like the Fourth of July courtesy of a color changing LED.  Start gathering tasty sheep for when this guy goes on sale tomorrow, July 12th, only from www.plaseebo.net.

Horrible Adorables Solo Show "Matriarchy" at Stranger Factory

    I bought Sharon her first Horrible Adorables original for her birthday this year and the thing about them is that once you own one, you want and entire wall full of them.  Think about how amazing that would look in your living room:  you're just sitting there watching tv with a hundred heads of whimsical felt creatures staring back at you.  Don't be surprised if they break into song from The Muppets catalog of hits.

    This Friday, July 7th,  at Stranger Factory you can witness their latest solo show entitled "Matriarchy."  The theme centers around females in the animal kingdom who are boss ladies and the lives that revolve around them.  If you're close to Albuquerque you can check it out during the opening reception from 6-9pm, while the show itself will run until the 30th.  

Dark Goliath Krawluss Blanks from Skinner x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

   Oh my God, I feel like I've been in a drought when it comes to stuff to write about (unintentional rhyme there).  My throat is dry, my typing fingers have atrophied, and it took me three hours to type this last sentence in the proper order.  I thought about retiring and moving to Florida but then I remembered that everything really dumb I see on the news happens in Florida, so I decided to just wait it out.  And shazam, my prayers have been answered courtesy of Skinner.  I should have known he would come through in a pinch.

   The mighty Krawluss is a collaboration between Skinner and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore and these blank dudes will be available to add a pop of color to your drab living spaces this Friday at noon pacific time.

    For those of you needing some Skinner goodness but also trying to take your lady out to Taco Bell this weekend, here's a bag of two heads and a club for just $30.  You can never have too many spare body parts laying around, or paint em yourself and become the next toy customizing super star.  Like an RKO, the colors are random and come seemingly out of nowhere.  

Get it all at http://theartofskinner.com this Friday, July 7th, at noon pacific time.  

    

Happy Birthday, America!

    

Blue Oyster Owl Clam from Nathan Jurevicius x Toy Art Gallery

    I'm gonna out hipster all the hipsters with my newest idea.  This is what's gonna secure my place as an eccentric old man years before I need to really be good at it.  First, I'm gonna give all my shirts away and buy a bunch of pocket tees.  No, you can't have them either, I'm gonna mail them to wherever they send those sports shirts from the losing team of championship games so that my magic goes world wide.  Next, I'm gonna get a screech owl and carry him around everywhere in my pocket. Oh my God, I can hear the collective sigh of not only every dude with his typewriter in Starbucks, but every old back woods bro who thought he won the crazy game with his raccoon he walks on a leash whenever he goes into town.  You'd think my wife isn't behind this idea but she wants a screech owl so badly it has blinded her to my madness.  His name is Tilda Swinton by the way and he is not interested in coming to your birthday party unless the cake is made of mice.  Good luck with that.

I love how judgmental they look.  Could you have disappointed a bird any more than this?

    Until I figure out how to buy my pocket screech owl I will practice with a less temperamental stand in like this Owl Clam from Nathan Jurevicius x Toy Art Gallery.  This toy literally consists of a shell fish that is harboring some owl fugitives.  It's pretty nuts, and it can be all yours when this Blue Oyster version releases later today at noon pacific time only from www.toyartgallery.com.