New Rampage Toys Exclusives from Tenacious Toys

    I have lived the majority of my life ignorant to the fact that there are some people who believe dinosaurs are a hoax.  I can't remember how this was brought to my attention, but a few years ago I found myself perplexed at the idea of it being a total conspiracy.  As far as epic pranks go it would be a pretty good one I guess, though I struggle to see an end game.  The entire point of conning someone is the big reveal, otherwise they never know that you got one over on them in the first place.  Maybe the guy that planned the whole thing died before he could prove us to be morons and having kept his plan a secret no one else was able to let us in on the joke.  Nope, still sounds as idiotic as the Earth being flat.  

    Rampage Toys certainly believes in the former existence of dinosaurs, though his ideas about their ocular anatomy differs slightly from the fossil record.  What they lack in depth perception they make up for in charm, and these sets of reptilian friends are about as cute as any lizard can hope to be.  These, along with three unicorns of varying ugliness, are all exclusive to Tenacious Toys and available for preorder as we speak.  Secure them for your collection by visiting https://www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Seatus Kickstarter Campaign from Gruesome Toys

   The sea may be a cruel mistress, but the world of toy production is an expensive one.  While many of us may have killer ideas for a vinyl figure not many of us have the stacks of cash laying around to make it happen.  Thankfully creative types can turn to a website like Kickstarter to make all of their dreams come true, which is exactly what Gruesome Toys have done with their debut figure Seatus.  This salt water dwelling critter is on the home stretch of being produced and now needs your help to get him all the way there.  By now you know how this works:  you select a level to pledge towards their goal and you get sweet rewards like exclusive colorways of the toy and tons of other extras.  As of this writing they are just over half way funded and you can help by checking out this link.

We Were Ranked #26 According to Rankedblogs.Com

   A website by the name of Ranked Blogs has ranked us number 26 in the world!  If this were the Olympics we're nowhere near medal contention, but they'd probably let us keep our warm up suits.  Hey, they may even fly us back home for free.  I have no idea what criteria they use to rank websites; if they use stolen Facebook data or ask a Ouija board, but it's always nice to be recognized even when you're not sure what you did.  Unless that recognition is from a law enforcement agency, because then I'd prefer to remain ignored. 

   Thanks again and I'll keep pretending like I have any idea what I'm doing.

GID Nuclear Nightbreed Glampyre from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    

    Officially it is the third day of spring, which to me means chirping birds, trees growing their leaves back, and weather that is warmer than the bitter chill of winter.  Instead what I have outside my window is about 6 inches of snow.  This is completely unacceptable.  I have done my fair share of shoveling and I have certainly discovered my fair share of black ice on darkened roadways.  Yeah, I could move to Florida and experience nice weather the majority of the year, but then I'd have to worry about getting bitten by some hillbilly with a Monster Energy Drink logo tattooed on his arm who takes off from working at the alligator farm for "religious reasons" whenever the Insane Clown Posse releases a new album.  I'll deal with the snow.

    Martin Ontiveros is keeping those chill winter vibes alive with this glow in the dark Glampyre.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery and hand painted by the man himself, this limited edition run of soft vinyl figures will retail for $180 each.  But wait, there's more...

    Three hand painted one-offs as well?  When uniqueness is a must for your collection then you've gotta snag a toy so limited you're the only one that owns it.  Releasing at the same time as those frozen looking dudes up top will be these three dudes you see before you.  Each is one of a kind and will be $250 each.  Treat yourself when they all go on sale tomorrow, Friday March 23rd, at noon pacific time at www.toyartgallery.com.  

Scott Wilkowski Offering Customized Resin Infected Kittens

    If the title or anything like it was ever posted on Craigslist you can consider yourself warned about how much of a bad idea it would be to email that dude.  I myself have obtained things off of that sketchy website ranging from taxidermied birds to vintage cookware, but each time I did it I went into the transaction with the knowledge that I may become a Dateline NBC special.  Some people skydive, I buy preserved bird specimens from a person whose house can't been seen from the road.  I like to live dangerously.

   Scott Wilkowski is not peddling diseased felines that escaped the CDC, but is actually offering up a resin masterpiece that you can customize the colors of.  That's right, you can redeem any other bad decisions you may have recently made by helping Scott create perfection.  When placing your order at http://www.scottwilkowski.com all you have to do is pick your outer color AND the color of the inner skeleton.  Personally I would choose orange on the outside and black on the inside, which are the colors of Halloween, the Philadelphia Flyers, and the idiot running our country into oblivion.  I'm only ok with the first two.

   Standing five inches tall, hand cast in resin, and partially designed by you, each one will be $300.

http://www.scottwilkowski.com

Darth Knuckleduster from Killer Bootlegs

    

     I used to collect Star Wars stuff exclusively before I got into vinyl toys, but there was way to much stuff being produced to keep that going.  So I focused instead on collecting the greatest villain of all time, Darth Vader.  That was until for every one figure I bought they'd release three more versions of it in different packaging.  Buying toys shouldn't be like trying to kill the Hydra, so I've mostly thrown the towel in on that too, save for the odd piece every once in a while.  I had never thought about Darth Vader tribute toys before though, so now I feel myself (and my credit cards) getting sucked back in.

    Killer Bootlegs has made a big old vinyl version of his Draco Knuckleduster figure and painted him up to look like everyone's favorite asthmatic evil doer.  And this thing is more limited than the amount of good plot points in The Last Jedi.  Dropping tonight at 6pm cst exclusively through http://killerbootlegs.storenvy.com, you can add him to your growing Imperial forces for $100 (which includes shipping).  

  

I'm Still a Toys R Us Kid

    The news of Toys R Us closing down really hit me yesterday, as Sharon and I took a last walk through our local store before the liquidation signs erupt like small pox down every aisle.   My earliest memories of the store involve the location in Newport News, Virginia.  I remember walking in and there would be this huge wall and multiple rows of shopping carts that greeted you as you entered.  Once you turned the corner it was like looking out over the ocean and trying to fathom seeing its end.  Shelves were packed full to bursting with Star Wars and G.I. Joe and He-Man figures that would be the featured cast in epic narratives.  Those same pristine toys would end up caked in mud, water logged in the bath tub, and faded by their time spent outdoors, but for that moment in the store they were more than just mass produced bits of plastic: they were gateways to my imagination.  

   I remember when the original Nintendo system came out and my brother and I got one that Christmas.  We'd fight over who got to play and for how long and then when it was time to get a new game we'd fight about that until some sort of compromise was reached.  Then on the fateful day we'd head to Toys R Us and their aisle that was just pictures of box art and little paper slips beneath it that indicated how many were left in stock. We'd hope and pray the entire car trip that there would be at least one slip left for the game we wanted, because leaving empty handed was not an option.  Sometimes you got lucky, sometimes we ended up with a second choice, and sometimes we left with nothing but a promise we'd try again the next week.  No matter how much older I get, I've still never developed a good sense of patience, but I am way less likely to throw a tantrum. 

    I'll certainly miss it and I'll always be thankful for how much of a role it had in shaping my life.