Bubble Gum Pink Bake-Kujira from Candie Bolton x Toy Art Gallery

    Things don't get much more metal than the angry poltergeist of a dead whale.  It's so metal that you could make it bubble gum pink without another lick of color and it's just as metal as anything to come out of Norway in the early '90's.  Any black metal band can wear traditional corpse paint, but you should be really scared if you see one decked out like Hello Kitty because those dudes are obviously crazy and any music they make is too brutal for human ears.  Only wooly mammoths could withstand such an audio onslaught, so when the aliens come and resurrect them they will have something cool to listen to.  I hope you'll be thinking about how great this post is all day because that's my gift to you in these times of darkness.

   Candie Bolton's spooky sea mammal has risen from the deep and into our hearts many times before, but never so delicious looking.  Seriously, this version looks like you could break pieces off and enjoy a good old fashioned chew.  Toy Art Gallery will be releasing this beauty on Friday, April 20th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

"Petite Tales" Solo Show from Horrible Adorables at Art Star Philadelphia

    I love the work of Horrible Adorables.  How can you not when you look at their animal creations, what with their big eyes and felt layered like dragon scales.  In fact their critters are so cool that they've kinda made other animals look like they've dropped the evolutionary ball.   As if making squirrels look like they're not even trying to be cute anymore wasn't enough, now their creatures are going on epic adventures.

   Petite Tales (or Tiny Tales for those of you who treated French class as a way to meet girls and not a cultural experience) is their latest show on view right now at Art Star in Philadelphia and features their whimsical creatures living life to the fullest.  Whether meeting mermaids while on a Viking raid, or communicating with the dead in the gosh dang cutest seance you've ever seen, each display is packed full of their signature designs doing all the cool stuff you wish you could right now.  Fear not though, as you don't have to quit your job to go out and have all the fun they are, because you can bring that fun right into your own home.  All of the pieces from the show are available right now at www.artstarphilly.com and if you find yourself in the greater Philadelphia metropolitan area you should really go and see them in person.  If not, you can check out some of the pictures I took and live vicariously through the wonderment of photography.

More photos can be found at www.facebook.com/thetoyviking

3DRetro Has Two Huge Releases from Coop and Doktor A

   Pills: Many of us are on them.  More of us should be.  I myself am not into the idea of recreational drug use but if I ever changed my mind I think I would try acid at Disney World.  Maybe it isn't the best idea to do hallucinogens at what equates to an upscale carnival, but if you're going to be damaged psychologically you might as well have some good stories to tell your shrink when he makes his rounds at the mental hospital.  I'm sure Coop's inspiration for this figure was a bit deeper than my idea of a fun mid life crisis, but that hasn't been confirmed.  No matter the back story, this icon for the happiest place on Earth is the perfect mascot for our times.  This "Old Timey" edition of Mickey Finn is limited to 200 pieces and will retail for $45 each.

   In an effort to bring some classical elegance home,   I bought a bust in Brooklyn at a flea market and neglected to think about having to carry it around the rest of the day.  The damn thing felt like it was made of black matter and I almost ditched it a few times.  Did I mention it was 96 degrees out, which in New York translates roughly to being boiled alive?  I'm full of good ideas.

    While this bust from Doktor A will more than likely weigh less than the one I bought, it is a lot cooler.  And in keeping with our drug theme it's name is Anesthesia, which ties this whole post together.  I bet you thought I couldn't bring it home but I did and now you have been embarrassed for your non belief.  This version is limited to only 50 pieces and can be yours for $100.

   Both of these can be yours when they are released today (Friday, April 13th) at 11am pacific time from www.3dretro.com.

The Vinyl Debut of La Mort from Naomi Knaff x Planet X Asia

  Writing about toys is a weird thing.  I do it because I enjoy seeing something I'm inspired by and adding my two cents to its narrative.  Sometimes that is easy and my hands work overtime trying to keep up with the voice in my head.  Naomi Knaff is one of those artists whose work screams for stories to be told about it and I am beyond proud to be able to write about this toy.  I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but to see her work make the jump to vinyl is something well deserved and long overdue.

   Having teamed up with the prolific folks at Planet X Asia , Naomi is debuting her vinyl figure La Morrtt this Sunday. This is one mean looking fish/goat something or other that I could totally see swarming helpless beach goers.  Can you imagine, you think you're safe when you make it back yo shore only to realize that the little devil can run like a gazelle?  I'd watch that on the SYFY Channel all day long.

    Standing almost 8 inches tall and featuring one point or articulation at the neck, this teal beauty will retail for $80 plus shipping.  He'll be available exclusively from www.naomiknaff.com this Sunday, April 15th.

Story Killers: Little Red Riding Hood from Stephane Levallois X Artoyz

 

  It is known fact that the best way to defeat your enemy and ward off future ones is to sever their head and wear it on yours Halloween mask style. That old "head on the pike" thing is beyond passé and barely even serves as a deterrent anymore.  The smell is weird at first but no more so than the New Jersey air I breathe anyway.

   Take Little Red Riding Hood here.  Far from being dinner for any wolf, she has seperated head from neck and created herself a nice little organic helmet.  This twist on the classic fairy tale was created by Stephane Levallois and the sepia toned edition you see will be the last incarnation of this figure ever.  Produced by Artoyz and available for a special lower price until April 30th, you can add one of these limited edition sociopaths to your collection by visiting https://artoyz.com/shop/en/.

Metallic Devil Sofubi Sets and Blank Blue Kronos Release from Splurrt

    American pride has certainly taken a hit in recent years with the shenanigans that are going on in our government, but this metallic paint job from Splurrt is making me feel a little patriotic.  I got an urge to fire up the grill, light some seriously dangerous fire works, and put on a backyard wrestling match for the neighbors.  Do you see how two out of three of those things involved the word "fire"?   As Americans we've really embraced that discovery from our cave men ancestors and held on to it like the safety bar of a haphazardly constructed carnival ride.   Oh, and the third thing will involve fire as well when we have a no holds bared flaming table ladder match for the Southern New Jersey Bad Ideas Championship.  I know what my fans want.  

    Splurrt is one of the reigning kings of the American sofubi scene and his Usir figure is one of my favorite designs of all time.  He paired that little buddy up with his Demon figure for a special two pack that will have people scrambling on their internet machines.  Releasing this Saturday at noon eastern time, these sets, along with a special blue blank of his magnificently huge Kronos figure, will be available exclusively through http://splurrt.bigcartel.com.

Glow in the Dark Resin Faffnuffs from Miss Monster

    I haven't seen them yet this year, but a family of well fed chipmunks lives under our porch.  I know they're well fed because they come out and vacuum up any bird seed that happens to fall from our feeder.  Like fuzzy little Roombas they quickly and efficiently load their cheeks with anything they suppose is edible, and run back to their sanctuary beneath my front door.  Someone I work with thought it was gross that I would be cool with little critters setting up camp in such close proximity but meanwhile they have actual human children living inside their home, which seems way less sanitary to me.  And noisey.  And expensive.  And less adorable.

    I don't know what Faffnuffs eat, but I would imagine it involves much more than birdseed.  They look as if their jaws would spring open trash can like and devour anything that happened to fall in.  Miss Monster's resin buddies also glow in the dark, which is a great party trick if you ever happen to master it.  Do people really do tricks at parties or is the idea of a party trick something that was never really a thing?  My party trick, if I ever found myself suckered into going one, was to find the cat and or dog and ignore everyone else.  Penn and Teller never nailed that one as well as I did.

    These will be available today (Tuesday April 3rd) at 2pm pacific time from https://missmonster.myshopify.com.