Mini Muscle Minion Figure from Renone

    I used to have a boat load of these little Muscle figures but I have no idea what happen to them.  I moved around a lot as a kid and after a while I just sort of lost track of things.  Once when we moved to Pennsylvania for what turned out to be a very brief moment, the doors of our Uhaul trailer came open and spilled stuff all over the roadway.  The fabric of our couch cushions was redesigned by over eager tire treads and boxes exploded upon impact sending their contents all over the pavement.  Hindsight would tell us that was a great moment to turn around and call the entire relocation off, but hindsight is an annoying thing who never speaks up at the most opportune times.  He's a jerk.

    Though my collection is long gone I can at least be positive that this guy isn't laying on the side of a highway, destroyed by decades of exposure.  That's because RenOne hadn't invented his Minion character nor this figure yet.  In fact, he's just now offering it up for all of us to own.  Head on over to https://renonelab.bigcartel.com and choose the color you want of these made to order figures and then wait patiently by your mailbox for it to arrive.  He's even taking color requests if there's one you just can't live without.  Just don't be weird about it by asking for something like "Grateful Dead Parking Lot Cheese Sandwich on Acid."

Plaseebo x Planet X for Five Points Fest

     It's that time of year where turtles are trying to cross the road in order to meet what smells like the loves of their lives.  If you happen to see a turtle on the road who needs a bit of assistance on his way to make babies you should always put them on the side they are trying to reach.  Those little dudes do not quit and if you put them back where they came from they will turn around, shoot you the bird, and then end up in the same predicament.  I respect how headstrong they are when it comes to love, but they really could channel some of that into those little legs and get there quicker.  And if you don't help them they might turn into horrible trash monsters and kill you in your sleep.  Just sayin.

    America, it is almost time to embrace the behemoth that is SUM.  Plaseebo and Planet X are bringing these monsters to our shores via their booth at this year's Five Points Fest in Brooklyn.   These will all be one of a kind painted by the man himself and available only at booth #328.  After the show there will be a larger release sometime in July, but this will be the first chance for many of us to own one of these pissed off turtles.  Each one features led color changing lights and loads of revenge in their eyes.  I'm excited to see one of these things in person.

Wonder Goblin for Five Points Fest

   I hope when that sink hole at the White House fully forms that something looking like this pops out of it , spouts off a few quotes from The Mask, and makes most of our problems go away.  Tell me that wouldn't be the greatest thing to ever happen; that some dormant creature of unexplained origins is all like "you know, this has really gotten out of hand" and comes to save us all.  It only quotes The Mask in the throes of battle and is really only interested in the safety of our pop culture, not so much mankind itself.  Who can really blame it.  On a side note I'd like to welcome all my new followers from the various government agencies that have red flagged this post.  

    Of course this is not the means of our reckoning, but the Queen Hagopus from the demented mind of Wonder Goblin.  I'd like to think that upon his birth, after many hour of painful labor, his mother held him in her arms and actually named him Wonder Goblin, but who can say for sure.  What I do know is that he will be bringing that monstrosity you see above with him to Five Points Fest next week along with another dude by the name of Budfoot.

    These are no mere action figures, as they stand 9 inches and 14 inches tall respectively,  meaning you're gonna need to clear some shelf space to take them home.  And if you want to take them home you're gonna need to find yourself at the Brooklyn Expo Center on June 2nd and 3rd to snag these and whatever other madness may pop up at his booth.  

    

Blue Variant Devilman from Mike Sutfin x Unbox Industries x Mondo

    I could go for sprouting a set of bat wings, as long as they were retractable and I could still sit comfortably.  I figure if I managed to have bat wings in the first place the same magic that gave them to me could also make them able to disappear adequately.  And also get rid of my fear of heights, otherwise I'd only be able to fly about as high as a regulation basketball rim before getting the shakes.    These are the things my brain forces me to consider when I know I have to be up in five hours and actually trying to fall asleep makes doing so impossible.

    Mike Sutfin's beyond detailed and uber popular take on Devilman is now in it's third incarnation with this Mondo exclusive blue variant.  Produced by the vinyl elves at Unbox Industries, there was little warning about this release, as it makes its debut today, Tuesday May 22nd, at noon central time. Ugh, you guys are killing me with all this cool stuff right before Five Points Fest.  Snag one and dream of the freedom that a pair of leathery wings would give you by visiting www.mondotees.com.

Citron Edition La Morrttt from Naomi Knaff x Planet X

   This figure is the closest thing to sunshine I've seen in a while because it has rained all week in New Jersey.  There's been mildly inconvenient rain, flood-inducing down pours, and enough thunder and lightning to scare my cats off of their eating schedule.  The best part is when it scares them into a fear induced stampede that will start no matter where they happen to be sitting at the time.  Have you ever had a cat use your chest as a starting block when they attempt to run and hide from thunder?  Good thing I have a high pain tolerance and enough respect for others to not take my shirt off in public.  No need to thank me, it's what heroes do.

    Naomi Knaff is offering up the promise of dryer and sunnier days to come via her La Morrttt figure from Planet X.  For $80 it's almost guaranteed to push your seasonal depression out the door for good.  Snag one tomorrow, Sunday May 20th, at 5pm eastern time exclusively through www.naomiknaff.com.

 
    

Death Berry Blast Ultrus Bog from Skinner x Lulubell Toys

    Oh my goodness I looooooooove marbled vinyl, and this beautiful Ultrus Bog has got me drooling.  Not nearly as bad as when I had my dental work the other day, cause that was embarrassing.  I got a filling done and then was scheduled for a cleaning immediately afterward so I can look good for my dozens of fans.  I can't feel the entire left side of my face and I get handed a cup of mouthwash to use before we start.  One swish and it's cascading down my shirt in a waterfall of minty freshness.  The hygienist looks over and says "uh oh, still a little numb from the anaesthetic?"  April is out here solving mysteries, people!  Bring your cold cases Monday through Friday and all your questions will be answered.  She needs to be quicker with the paper towels and less so with the detective skills.

    Death Berry Blast sounds like a hardcore Slurpee flavor,  it is instead sofubi bliss courtesy of Skinner and Lulubell Toys.  This is the first time this figure has ever had the marbled treatment and it is long overdue.  Look at the way those swirled colors fill every detail in the sculpt.  Go ahead, look at it.  "Majestic" may not be the word you were looking for, but it really should have been.

    You can score yourself one of these beauties when they go on sale today, Friday May 18th, at noon pacific time exclusively from www.lulubelltoys.com.  They will be $95 each plus shipping to wherever you happen to live.

Skull Gold B from Noon x K Olin Tribu

   I just got back from getting a filling at the dentist and I'm not even upset about it.  That's because my dentist has this head scanner that takes a 3D image of your skull.  I was beyond excited to see what my brain case looked like but no one offered to show me.  We're getting down to the end of things and I bring up the fact that I really really want to see my skull before I leave.  The hygentist's eyes lit up and told me that no one has ever asked to see it before.  I found that hard to believe but wasn't about to argue.  She pulls it up on the computer and there, in as much detail as if you had peeled my face off and taken a look inside, are all the nooks and crannies of my head.  I really want to find a way to have it 3D printed, so if anyone has any ideas please let me know.  I think it would make a great candy dish.

   You can't go wrong with having a few skulls laying around the house, especially when they won't implicate you in any criminal proceedings.  Now make that sucka porcelain with a distressed gold finish and you've got yourself a work of art ready for MTV's Cribs.  Noon and K. Olin Tribu have released a number of skulls in the past but this one is by far my favorite.  I love that "freshly discovered" look of items that were long buried and are just seeing the light of day for the first time in many years.

     If you're as in love with this as I am you better get moving because only 50 of them exist in the entire world.  You can secure one now by visiting www.artandtoys.com.