Chris Ryniak and Amanda Louise Spayd's Gemnibbler Exclusive from Umi Toys Hawaii

    Happy New Year, ya filthy animals!  The best way to start your next 365 days off right is to treat yourself to some retail therapy.  I started the New Year with a sinus infection; mouth breathing my way home from work last night while R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know It" filled the interior of my Hyundai.  Kind of an ominous start to 2019, but if life were easy I certainly wouldn't recognize it if it was standing next to me and tapping my shoulder.  So while I could bore you with top 10 lists or other nonsense that people usually do this time of year, my cold medicine is insisting we throw that idea in the trash and instead tell you about something new.  Brace yourselves, for I am at its mercy.

   There's nothing worse that being a collector of anything and not being able to get each and every thing associated with it.  Do you want to know how many sets of figures I have where I'm only missing one and that one that eludes me is priced at a level that would keep me up at night?  I'd tell you, but lets not dwell on the negative.  Umi Toys is ensuring that every collector of the Thimblestump Hollow series 2 figures from Chris Ryniak and Amanda Louise Spayd will be able to complete their sets by offering up this exclusive Canyon edition Gemnibbler.  This enemy of precious jewels is limited to only 85 pieces, retails for $15, and can only be had by visiting www.umitoyshawaii.com.  One of these will also be included if you are purchasing one of their Fukubukuro lucky bags.

   These figures are produced by the fine folks of Cardboard Spaceship, who have yet to convince NASA that corrugated paper is the best material for use when constructing the shuttle.  

Kazans Sofubi Series from Gary Baseman x APPortfolio

   I love the work of Gary Baseman because he has managed to create things that are instantly recognizable as his without ever feeling stale.  I love it for other reasons as well, but what I mentioned above is no easy task.  So when I saw these posted on Facebook there was no doubt as to who created them, but they in equal measures felt like sometime completely new.  And how can you not be happy when looking at these?  They're the perfect cure for the nasty seasonal depression many of us are going through, though you probably shouldn't rush out and cancel your doctor's appointments just yet.  These critters have yet to be evaluated by the Food and Drig Administration for their therapeutic properties.

   These sofubi figures have been produced by APPortfolio and are available now.  They come in sets of two and will retail for $204 per set.  You can see how they are paired up in the pictures below and you can purchase them by visiting https://apportfolio.shoplineapp.com.

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Sprayed Away Series 1 from Josh Mayhem

   Last summer here at the Jersey Shore a tourist was sitting on the beach when a large gust of wind picked up an umbrella, launched it towards her, and impaled her leg like a javelin.  All this time we had this irrational fear of sharks because of Jaws, when the silent killer was lulling us into complacency with the promise of respite from a brutal sun.  Shade comes at a price, my friends, and that price could very well be your life!  This has been a public service announcement from The Council For Impalement Awareness.

   Josh Mayhem has made what is quite possibly his most appropriate Blown Away series to date.  Utilizing the SprayeeQ Qee platform from Toy2R, he has adequately captured what a popular song and dad jokes have told us for years: you never spray into the wind.  Whether it be paint or more organic substances, the results will always be the same.  Though the embarrassment levels might vary greatly.  

   This exclusive series for Tenacious Toys features 12 hand customized figures with one random glow in the dark chase.  Each piece stands 5 inches tall, will retail for $150, and will be available starting at 3pm today (Wednesday, December 19th) only from www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Spoke Art Exclusive Calico Kittypillar from Casey Weldon x 3A

    The only new cats that will be entering my home any time soon will be of the plastic variety, because I've got a kitty turf war on my hands as we speak.  Two of the five have decided that our house isn't big enough for the both of them, so the black one rolls up on the tiny one like a school yard bully, and the tiny one responds by trying to make force fields out of urine all over the place.  There's nothing quite like laying your head down in anticipation of a good night's sleep and having the serenity broken by a jet stream of pee against the wall.  That girl has some pressure built up and it has ballooned my paper towel budget to absurd levels.  If you find yourself in the same situation, Target sells a product called Urine Destroyer, which sounds metal as hell and really does a good job... and I now realize that this is the most elderly post I've ever written and I am only slightly ashamed.


    While the idea of having a real life Kittypillar sounds pretty awesome, the science behind their creation is a slippery slope I'm not prepared to slide down.  So until kitties on some remote island in the South Pacific evolve naturally into this, we're going to have to dream about it vicariously through the work of Casey Weldon and 3A.  His latest version has a beautiful calico coat , stands eight inches tall, and has enough articulation to push all of your knick knacks straight off of the mantle.  This version is an exclusive to Spoke Art and is limited to only 100 pieces, so if you want one I would stop your procrastinating and get to adopting.  Get yours by visiting https://spoke-art.com.

Lovecraft Inspired "Mythos In My Pocket" Figures from HH Toys

    I can assure you I have neither monsters nor Mythos in my pockets.  I have a Wal-Mart receipt or two, which I will inevitably forget is in there, throw my pants in the wash, and discover later as an unidentifiable wad of football shaped paper.  Now if we were to examine my jacket we would discover all of the various Chap Sticks I've had since owning said garment.  I use them during the winter, forget them come spring, and buy a new one once the weather gets cold.  I can testify in a court of law that I have no idea what the interior of a tube of Chap Stick looks like once the product is completely used.  And they always end up with flecks of unknown debris stuck to it, like some dirt monster is moisturizing his lips when I'm not watching.  This is indeed the biggest trouble I am facing right now, so I take solace in that fact, but it is still a mystery none the less.

   The tales of H.P. Lovecraft have inspired more art than possibly any other stories in recent history and HH Toys are joining that list with their new figure line Mythos In My Pocket.  They've taken prominent characters and even the man himself, shrunken them down, and created a series that will scratch the literary itch of any toy collector.  The best way to get every figure and a few killer bonuses is by getting in on the early bird edition, which will feature a complete set of flesh colored toys, a bonus glow in the dark version, a bonus Cthulhu idol, print, and sticker for just $65 (plus shipping).  Only 100 of those sets will be available beginning Thursday, December 13th, at 5pm eastern time.   The general release will happen on Saturday, December 15th for those of you that can't handle all those extras and just need to keep things simply to the business of the figures.  Whichever way you go, the only way to get them will be through https://mythosinmypocket.com.   

 

CMY Edition of Luke Chueh's Possessed from Munky King

    In my list of things in life that are scams, printer ink is at least top twenty.  No matter how new,  they seem to evaporate as quickly as the money I spent on them.  And how come I can buy a bag full of ink pens for next to nothing but throw it in a computer and suddenly it's worth it's weight in gold?  Those evil little cartridges are right up there with Ticketmaster fees, extended warranties, movie prequels, Columbus Day, premium gasoline, name brand cereal, the health care industry, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't think of right now but the moment someone brings them up I'll be sure to yell "SCAM" in their general direction.

    I'm going to put my tumultuous relationship with the ink industry aside and bask in the beauty of thes CMY edition of Luke Chueh's Possessed figure.  Each of these vinyl toys from Munky King is highlighting a shade used in the color printing process and they are exclusive to three different retailers.

  I Am Retro will have the Cyan version:

Munky King will have the Magenta version:

And MSX Art Gallery will be the only place to buy the yellow version:

    Now as anyone that has ever had to make an emergency run to the store when you needed to print something really important knows, black ink is the key to the whole operation.  So Munky King is giving you a chance to win the Kickstarter exclusive all black colorway.   If you purchase all three of these and post a picture of them on Instagram, utilize the hashtag #CMYPossessedContest, and follow @munkykingtoys, @i.am.retro, and @lukechueh you will be entered to win.  Easy enough, right?

    Each will be released tomorrow, December 7th, at noon pacific time through the retailers listed above.  

    

DLX Bumblebee Preorder from 3A

    That new Bumblebee movie looks pretty cool, but it also makes me nervous.  You see, I look at Bumblebee as the small puppy of the Transformers so I swear if something bad happens to him during the movie I will not be able to handle it.  I will lose my mind and I will have to find out who is responsible so I can put them in the Camel Clutch.  Obviously dude isn't going to die, because it's a prequel to the other films, but even if someone hurts his feelings I'm gonna be mad.  It's why I can't watch those Disney movies involving animals because while the film may be good, something is gonna happen to bum me out and I do not need to cry in a movie theater and ruin my street cred.

    Allow me to blow your mind with how great this figure looks from 3A.  I love the way this looks because this is so close to how I remember Bumblebee from when I was a kid, but with a modern update.  What's really going to blow your mind is the fact that this masterpiece features 55 points of articulation.  I don't think there's anything that doesn't move.   And there's LED lights in the eyes, stands 8 inches tall, and features die cast metal parts, interchangeable hands, and anything else you can possibly think of to make this the greatest Transformers toy you will ever own.  For $145, which seems very reasonable to me, you also get free world wide shipping.  Preorder yours today by visiting www.worldof3a.com.