The Return of Jason Limon's Abominable Snow Cone from Martian Toys

   

    The word "abominable" is as equally hard to spell as it is to pronounce correctly.   When I say it I make a distinctive "d" sound right in the middle as I'm pretty sure I've done my entire life.  And then I thought about how many times I could have possibly been in a situation where I needed to use that word to begin with.  Other than talking about a monstrous snow man there literally has only been this toy.  Thank God for spell check for not allowing me to butcher its construction as I type this.

    Hopefully my turmoil involved with this word has inspired all six of you to say it out loud as if you were conjuring the dark essence it's mispronunciation evokes. That is my gift to you on this Friday.  My other gift is to tell you about the return of Jason Limon's Abominable Snow Cone figure in the all new lime colorway.  Martian Toys worked with Jason on this frozen treat beast that was voted Toy of the Year at the Designer Toy Awards a few years back, and you can pick up this version when they go on sale today (Friday, April 26th) at noon eastern time from https://martiantoys.com.  Brain freeze sold separately.

Vinyl Kitty Rex Release Party Featuring Mab Graves at 3DRetro

    The history of Kitty Rex is not one that you will find in any text book, what with their need to be "factual".  Reality is not something I like to get hung up on, so let me tell you all about them.  The Kitty Rex's reign followed that of the Dinosaurs, though no one knows exactly where they came from.  It's thought that the crater made by the evil death meteor appealed to them for use as a litter box, but the fossil records have not confirmed it.  Our modern cats evolved from them as a means of survival because their tiny feline reptilian arms were unable to open cans of food, nearly leading to their extinction.  Feel free to use any of these completely baseless facts at your next dinner party.

    I was kinda depressed when Mab Graves made her mini Dino Kitties and I missed out on them.  I needed them in my life more than I realized and when it didn't happen a great cloud of despair fell upon me.  But fear not, for my melancholy lifted the moment I saw this.  3DRetro has put the fabled Kitty Rex into full vinyl production mode and you can get yours first when they host a release party this Saturday.  Mab Graves will be there to sign your figures and be all David Attenborough with any questions you may have regarding the species.  This version is limited to 200 pieces, will retail for $80, and can first be had during the release party in Southern California.  Any leftovers will then make their way online for those unable to attend.  I haven't done this in a while, but I feel secure in awarding this figure the highest compliment I can offer:

BurgerCat: InfinityCat Edition from Nathan Hamill x Science Patrol

   I didn't happen to catch the last Avengers film, but I got the gist of it:  Grimace's gym going cousin has a magic blinged out mitten that makes people go all pixelated and cease to exist.  It also doubles as a universal remote, stores your credit card info for faster payment processing, and can open any jar of pickles without needing anyone to loosen it first.  So my guess is the sequel that's coming out this weekend will involve the big purple guy getting his glove confiscated and his behind whooped for all of his shenanigans.  Don't even bother reading the reviews because no one will tell the story better and with more passion than I just did.

   Nathan Hamill is piggybacking on all the hype for the new Avengers with the InfinityCat edition of his popular BurgerCat figure.  Now my question is if you are really hungry and you eat a powerful burger like this, will the power remain with you forever or will it only last until the digestion cycle is complete, thus transferring your super strengths to a much less appealing medium?  Marvel is not brave enough to make that film.

   Each BurgerCat is made in luxurious Japanese vinyl by Science Patrol and will be available starting this Friday, April 26th at 12am est (1pm Japan Standard Time) exclusively from https://sciencepatrol.storenvy.com.


  

The Rebel Saint from Rebels and Thinkers x Flab Slab

   It's only been a few days since I heard of the movie Faeryville, and while the premise of bullied kids rising up to attack their oppressors sounds like a good time to me, I can't believe it's from Singapore.  Being from America I know Singapore for two reasons:  the futuristic architecture and when they caned the hell out of that tourist kid for vandalism in the 90's.  People were really split (kind of like the skin on his backside) about whether the punishment was too harsh but I was all for it.  You don't go to someone else's country and try to play art school Christopher Columbus; if you want to express yourself artistically you deface stuff where you live.  There's plenty of Applebee's that are in desperate need of some forced redecoration.

   The patron saint of the above mentioned film has a gun in one hand and a book in the other, which is how I usually spend my lunch breaks at work.  The book was not enough to let people know I didn't want to be bothered, so if they get shot they get shot, I don't know what else to do.  This resin reproduction was created by Rebels and Thinkers and Flab Slab and is the perfect icon for the downtrodden, a symbol of freedom for those who feel trapped by the actions of others.  Standing 6.75 inches tall and retailing for $90 each, if I were the Statue of Liberty I would try really hard at my job, cause a suitable replacement has been found.

Get yours at https://flabslab.bigcartel.com.

Radical Greasebat from Jeff Lamm x Glyptigo

    While Greasebat is hanging ten you can catch me hanging out on the boardwalk.  Having lived by the ocean most of my life I am surprisingly not much of a beach person.  I wanted to try surfing when I was younger, that is until I got stung by a jellyfish all up and down my legs and my need for being in the sea abruptly ended.  I was maybe 9 at the time, minding my own business in waste deep water, when the rage of Poseidon latched onto my skin.  Clear gelatinous tentacles delivered sting after burning sting of liquid fire all while that smug snot ball they dangled from laughed maniacally.  The real horror struck me when I got back onto the beach and had to tell my mom what had happened.  Red lightning shaped welts turned my skin into a topographical map and I, as well as any other kid who revels in arcane knowledge knows, there's only one way to make the pain go away:

You pee on it.

    And whenever such a thing happens on tv they never pee in a cup first and then throw it on the affected area.  Nope, the dose has to be administered directly from the source, which is horrifying on levels I refuse to explore.  Of course now I know that having someone tinkle on your wounds is kind of dumb, but I was scared to death some Good Samaritan was gonna rush over, drop their Speedo, and practice the most shameful of first aid.  I grabbed my stuff and ran back to our car before there could even be a discussion about what might happen next, not willing to be traumatized any further than that simple organism at high tide had already managed.

    Jeff Lamm has taken his world famous character and dropped him right in the midst of California Kulture with this latest release with Glyptigo, who also happens to be his wife.  Gotta keep those Greasebats in the family!  If you want one for your brood, they will debut today (Friday, April 19th) at 3pm eastern time at https://glyptigo.com.

Tayu Crystal Blood Edition Resin Figure from Tokyo Jesus x Clutter Studios

 
   Has anyone ever made a toy with real blood in it?  Spoiler alert: there's not real blood in this one, but it did get me thinking about whether it's happened or not.  When Kiss released a comic book many moons ago each member supposedly poured a vial of their own life juice into the ink before printing.  But has anyone ever drip dropped some vampire energy drink into a resin figure?  I've never heard about it if so, and I doubt it would be a huge selling point.  Though there are stores that specialize in selling human body parts, so I'm sure some freaky toy collectors would be into it.  Maybe I'll go and get some blood drawn before my next Nordic Cats are made.

    No one tapped a vein for Tokyo Jesus's latest resin figure, but the effect is pretty spectacular regardless.   Standing at a foot tall, the mesmerizing Tayu was produced by Clutter Studios in an edition run of 50.  The clear resin with the suspended flow of color ensures that each piece is unique and will be a stand out in your collection.  They are available now for $333 by visiting www.cluttermagazine.com.  

The Debut of the Nether Realm Tyrants from Radioactive Uppercut x Toy Art Gallery

     I've been to a lot of places, but I've never managed to find myself in the Nether Realm.  Last spring I found myself in Lurray, Virginia, home of the world famous Lurray Caverns and the almost as famous Cooter's Dukes of Hazard Museum. Yeah, I went to both.  I also ate at a McDonald's there that had televisions in the dining area, one of which was playing a Civil War documentary while the other featured a fire and brimstone televangelist that wouldn't let me eat my chicken nuggets in peace.  I'm originally from the South, so things like this are not nearly as frightening to me as they are my wife, but I have lived in New Jersey long enough for the scent of distrust to permeate my skin and instantly give me away as an outsider.  It's probably the closest I've ever come to being in a Jordan Peele film.  

    If I ever make it to the Nether Realm I'll be sure and find somewhere I can purchase a magnet for the ever growing collection I have on my fridge.  It seems like the American thing to do.  I also hope that the residents of a place with such a name are in fact the exact size of this group of Tyrants from Radioactive Uppercut and Toy Art Galley, because they don't look too friendly.  Maxing out at 2 and a half inches tall, their brand of sorcery can't be but so potent, and their weaponry would be ike being attacked by a chipmunk wielding a razor.  I feel like that's the kind of fight I was built to win.

    This set of six vinyl figures are packed with menacing detail and feature a paint job that Freddy Krueger would be get nightmares from.  You get the whole set of 6 for only $70 + shipping when they go on sale later today (Wednesday, April 17th ) at 3pm pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.