1/6th Scale Jon Snow Figure from Game of Thrones x threezero

    I can't believe that after eight seasons, Game of Thrones has come to an end.  I enjoyed this last season and contrary to popular internet opinion I though the finale was a fitting send off for the characters.  My wife asked me my opinion of it as soon as the show ended but I had a hard time formulating how I felt, but my only disappointment was in the fact that it was over.  I won't post spoilers here in case you haven't seen it, but know that what I'd really like to do is dissect the entire thing and show all the people that signed that redo petition what they missed out on by being butt hurt.

   There were lots of twists and turns this final season, maybe none more so than with Jon Snow.  His destiny didn't pan out quite the way we all expected, but the show literally killed of its most real world famous character in season one, so we shouldn't be that surprised that they were willing to take risks.  He's been dead, been a king, been exiled, and been chastised for not petting the goodest boy in the realm.  Dude has got to be stressed out, am I right?  This figure depicts Jon as he has appeared in the final season and comes with more detail than was packed into Sansa's dress she wore at the end (did you notice the embroidery on the inside of the sleeves? ).  He looks so life like that if you tell him he knows nothing he just might scowl at you.  He also comes with all the accessories one could possibly need for any situation that could arise in Westeros or beyond.

    You can preorder him now from threezero for $188 usd which includes shipping world wide.  He can be found at https://www.threezerohk.com.

Mulan Clear Red Edition from Awesome Toy

 

    If you don't have boob rockets in your arsenal are you even trying to win at war?  Since the moment we are born we are all obsessed with em, so it's fitting that that obsession has turned on us quicker than a kitchen appliance in a Stephen King novel.  Boobs are the most powerful things on Earth and I have a recent example to prove it.  My wife and I recently took our nephew to an exhibit on the Marvel Universe and through the majority of the film props and original comic pages he declared his boredom.  Then we come upon Black Widow's costume, who is portrayed by the ample actress Scarlet Johansson.  He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes unblinking, mouth agape, and suddenly he became very interested in the world of comic books.  The boy was hypnotized and I swore I could hear the song Dreamweaver playing in his mind.

     Awesome Toy is harnessing the power of the ta tas with their sofubi figure, Mulan.  Cast in clear red soft vinyl, this babe of the battlefield will keep all you hold near and dear safe with the power of BOOOOOOOOOOOOOB ROCKETS!  Did I mention those earlier?  Each figure is $90 plus shipping and can be had by following these easy directions:

HOW TO BUY:

If you are interested please email the following info to:

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com

1. Email Title: MULAN Clear Red

2. Your Full Name

3. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number

4. Your Paypal Address

5. Your instagram or facebook account (optional)

Note that cancel or unpaid order will be banned from our future sales.

New Game of Thrones Action Figures from McFarlane Toys

    The final season of Game of Thrones is here and the online world has certainly expressed their mixed feelings about it.  I don't envy the people behind the show, as every detail will be picked apart and scrutinized like a rotten corpse being eaten by opinionated vultures.  McFarlane Toys is now offering you the chance to reenact or completely reimagine this final season however you see fit with their new line of six inch action figures.  Each one is insanely detailed as you would expect from one of their creations and come packed with enough articulation that Jon Snow will have no excuse for not petting Ghost in the last episode (supposedly it was a CGI issue, as no one interacts directly with Ghost since he has grown so big).  Daenerys Targaryen, The Night King, and Arya Stark are also available now at Wal Mart, Target, Amazon, and specialty retailers for $19.95 each.

    Of course you can't have an accurate recreation of Westeros without a dragon and that's why there's this ultra huge Icy Viscerion.  He sports a 16.5 inch wing span, comes with removable fire breath and a base which captures him mid flight.  You can pick him up from Amazon, Target, and Best Buy for $25.99.  

Used Honey Resin Dunny Preorder from Sket One

    Did you know that honey never spoils?  They've found it in the tombs of ancient Egyptians and you could totally still dip your chicken nuggets in and eat it.  In a way it would be kinda cool to eat something that's as old as a Pharoah and not die immediately from butt worms, but on the other hand the mere thought of it would cause me to make myself sick the moment it hits my stomach.  And why would someone be buried with a jar of honey anyway? Was he really bad in life and hoping to bribe Anubis when he weighs his heart against the feather?

Anubis:  "Dude your heart is way too heav...hey is that a jar of honey?  I haven't had honey in, like, forever!!!   They used to stock it in the underworld commissary, then there was the problem with the bears and ugh, it was just such a mess."

Dead Guy: **slides jar over to Anubis"

Anubis:  "Oh, snap! I guess my scales need to be recalibrated cause you are headed right to the good place, my man. Enjoy your afterlife and whatnot."

***Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" blasts over the loudspeakers***

    Sket -One doesn't want you to have to start digging up dead bodies looking for something to put on your toast, so he is releasing this eight inch Used Honey Dunny for a special 24 hour preorder.  This resin figure saved a little bit of its goodness for you and will be available starting today (Friday May 3rd) at 9am pacific time.  Anyone who has ever seen one of Sket's pieces in person can tell you that this thing will be so flawless that you will probably stare at it until you get hungry and have to run out to the grocery store.  They're magic like that.  Satisfy your need to eat and your need to collect at https://sketone.storenvy.com.

The Return of Jason Limon's Abominable Snow Cone from Martian Toys

   

    The word "abominable" is as equally hard to spell as it is to pronounce correctly.   When I say it I make a distinctive "d" sound right in the middle as I'm pretty sure I've done my entire life.  And then I thought about how many times I could have possibly been in a situation where I needed to use that word to begin with.  Other than talking about a monstrous snow man there literally has only been this toy.  Thank God for spell check for not allowing me to butcher its construction as I type this.

    Hopefully my turmoil involved with this word has inspired all six of you to say it out loud as if you were conjuring the dark essence it's mispronunciation evokes. That is my gift to you on this Friday.  My other gift is to tell you about the return of Jason Limon's Abominable Snow Cone figure in the all new lime colorway.  Martian Toys worked with Jason on this frozen treat beast that was voted Toy of the Year at the Designer Toy Awards a few years back, and you can pick up this version when they go on sale today (Friday, April 26th) at noon eastern time from https://martiantoys.com.  Brain freeze sold separately.

Vinyl Kitty Rex Release Party Featuring Mab Graves at 3DRetro

    The history of Kitty Rex is not one that you will find in any text book, what with their need to be "factual".  Reality is not something I like to get hung up on, so let me tell you all about them.  The Kitty Rex's reign followed that of the Dinosaurs, though no one knows exactly where they came from.  It's thought that the crater made by the evil death meteor appealed to them for use as a litter box, but the fossil records have not confirmed it.  Our modern cats evolved from them as a means of survival because their tiny feline reptilian arms were unable to open cans of food, nearly leading to their extinction.  Feel free to use any of these completely baseless facts at your next dinner party.

    I was kinda depressed when Mab Graves made her mini Dino Kitties and I missed out on them.  I needed them in my life more than I realized and when it didn't happen a great cloud of despair fell upon me.  But fear not, for my melancholy lifted the moment I saw this.  3DRetro has put the fabled Kitty Rex into full vinyl production mode and you can get yours first when they host a release party this Saturday.  Mab Graves will be there to sign your figures and be all David Attenborough with any questions you may have regarding the species.  This version is limited to 200 pieces, will retail for $80, and can first be had during the release party in Southern California.  Any leftovers will then make their way online for those unable to attend.  I haven't done this in a while, but I feel secure in awarding this figure the highest compliment I can offer:

BurgerCat: InfinityCat Edition from Nathan Hamill x Science Patrol

   I didn't happen to catch the last Avengers film, but I got the gist of it:  Grimace's gym going cousin has a magic blinged out mitten that makes people go all pixelated and cease to exist.  It also doubles as a universal remote, stores your credit card info for faster payment processing, and can open any jar of pickles without needing anyone to loosen it first.  So my guess is the sequel that's coming out this weekend will involve the big purple guy getting his glove confiscated and his behind whooped for all of his shenanigans.  Don't even bother reading the reviews because no one will tell the story better and with more passion than I just did.

   Nathan Hamill is piggybacking on all the hype for the new Avengers with the InfinityCat edition of his popular BurgerCat figure.  Now my question is if you are really hungry and you eat a powerful burger like this, will the power remain with you forever or will it only last until the digestion cycle is complete, thus transferring your super strengths to a much less appealing medium?  Marvel is not brave enough to make that film.

   Each BurgerCat is made in luxurious Japanese vinyl by Science Patrol and will be available starting this Friday, April 26th at 12am est (1pm Japan Standard Time) exclusively from https://sciencepatrol.storenvy.com.