Goldenrod Dinokitty from Mab Graves x 3DRetro

     I don't get bent out of shape very often if I happen to miss a toy release.  I tend toward look on the bright side like "I guess it wasn't meant to be" or "hey I can pay the gas bill now".  But let me tell you how gutted I was to miss out on the first Dinokitty release from Mab Graves and 3DRetro.  I almost Kyle'd all the drywall in the house and my wife had to talk me out of burning down the local Wal-Mart mostly because that's where we buy our groceries and not because she has some weird stance against arson.  I really wanted that toy.

     If you were as tormented by your lack of Dinokitty as I was then you'll be happy as a clam with what I'm about to tell you.  Or if you read title you probably already know and this part will be completely anticlimactic to you.  I apologize.  For everyone else, this Friday will see the second colorway of the elusive Dinokitty!!!!  Presented in beautiful goldenrod, this reptilian feline is limited to 250 pieces and will go on sale August 16th at noon pacific time.  I'll be at work, but I will coincidentally have to use the bathroom around this time.

Italian Stallion Edition Bear Champ from JC Rivera x UVD Toys x Tenacious Toys

    For all the history that's packed into the city of Philadelphia, tourists seem to love the steps leading up to the art museum more than anything else.  That's because they are the ones featured in the Rocky film that Sylvester Stallone runs up before looking down the Benjamin Franklin Parkway and into Center City.  No matter how bad the weather is you will see someone emulating the actions of their hero or posing for a picture with his bronze statue off to the side.  The last time we were there to go to the museum people were pissed because they were shooting the Shazam movie at the top of the steps and wouldn't let anyone else on them.  Can you imagine that was the one thing you wanted to do and some jerks are making a movie and don't want you ruining their shot?  I would have made sure they spent countless hours editing out my bare behind from every frame I could get it in.

    Who will be the first person to take this new Italian Stallion Edition Bear Champ to Philadelphia and pose him at the art museum?  You will automatically win Instagram if you do, but first you must obtain one of these figures that reminds me a little more of Butterbean than of Rocky.

They must go to the same gym.

     This big chunk of designer vinyl created by JC Rivera and UVD Toys and is an exclusive release for Tenacious Toys.  Standing 4 inches tall and hailing from part unknown, he is limited to only 200 pieces and will retail for $75.  You can get one when he is released this Friday, August 9th at noon eastern time at www.tenacioustoys.com.

Junkonotomo Sofubi Mini Series from Junk Mizuno x Tomenosuke

    These wee teeny sofubi figures from Junko Mizuno are great for a plethora of reasons.  For one, they allowed me to use the word "plethora" which is one of my all time favorites.  Secondly, they're like little bits of one of her paintings come to life, ready to run amok on unsuspecting viewers.  But thirdly, and maybe most importantly, they have the best names.  Just look at the picture and tell me they don't each have the most perfect names.  Each one is completely descriptive of its owner, allowing zero ambiguity.  Unlike the name Ted.  There's a lot of secrets hiding behind the name Ted.

     Tomenosuke has created this set out of glorious Japanese vinyl with the debut edition being in a melon colorway.  You'll have your chance at this pocket full of deviants when they go up for presale today, Friday August 2 at 7:59 am at this link.

Vintage Edition TEQ63 Exclusive from Quiccs x Martian Toys x Tenacious Toys

    Do Quiccs collectors have second jobs just to pay for his figures?  There are seriously new ones coming out every week and I don't know how anyone keeps up with it financially.  I often wonder what people do for a living, one because I'm nosey, and two because I want to know if you're hiring. My idea of networking involves meeting someone, having them tell me I'd be perfect for this opening they have at their place of employment, and have said job pay me $100,000 with no experience.  Here is my resume in case you want to give me money:

- I'm funny and really good at doing impressions of people I work with and customers

- I have an extensive knowledge of the history of professional wrestling

- I will fight you

- I've been to a Dukes of Hazard museum

- I'm not scared of snakes

- King Diamond is my godfather (not really, but could you imagine?)

     If I sound like the employee of your dreams please hit me up.  But not if you don't offer a 401k, cause this isn't Soviet Russia.

     Out of all the TEQ63 that Quiccs has released with Martian Toys I'm going to go ahead and declare this one my favorite.  I'm a sucker for this vintage color scheme and if you like it as much as I do you better be ready this Friday, August 2 when it goes on sale at noon eastern time. This edition of 150 figures is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys which means they have all of them at their secret lair in Area 51.  Since they're nice people, you won't need to storm it and risk getting blown up by the military.  Just visit www.tenacioustoys.com at the previously mentioned time to secure one for yourself.

Blind Bagged Teeny Tiny Terry from Baphomet Toys

     I like Halloween to the point that I keep my vintage blow mold decorations up throughout the year.  I've never had to decorate for the holiday because the house is filled with plenty of weird stuff beyond that.  As much as I enjoy the holiday we don't pass out candy because the kids freak my cats out.   You would think that they had warrants the way they scatter when anyone comes onto the porch, so we try and keep their stress levels to a minimum.  If they stay stress free then they don't run through the house like the world's smallest herd of buffalo, spreading destruction wherever they go.

   If I see kids like this roaming through the neighborhood it either means that the Purge has started, or the creations of Baphomet Toys have influenced the next generation of heathens.  Teeny Tiny Terry is just as his name implies; a wee little terror that might burn your house down if you try and give him something other than candy on Halloween.  There are 10 hand painted devilish ghouls and they are being sold blind bagged starting tomorrow (Wednesday, July 31) at 7pm pacific time.  The only way to get one for yourself is by visiting https://baphomettoys.bigcartel.com.

Double Feature Resin Release from HH Toys

    For some of us Friday does not mean the end of the work week, as our pain will continue to Saturday and beyond.  Sharon and I often complain about how we don't want to have to go to work, but we add lots of specifics on to the end in case someone who is listening can actually grant our request and takes things very literally.  So while we would rather go to a flea market or have minor dental surgery than be forced to deal with the unreasonable public, we don't want our not having to work be a result of unemployment.  And we also want to continue to be paid at least the same amount of money but preferably more.  You gotta add that stuff in there just in case, as getting what you wish for requires a lot of fine print.

    HH Toys is giving you something to celebrate this Friday by having a killer double feature release. First up is their first fully painted edition EVER to exist.  This monkey is freaking me out and the paint job from Michael Devera is only adding to my unease.  I've been distrustful of monkeys since I went to a rescue zoo and one played Dixie with a Cheez-It on his cage to distract me while his buddy next door was fiddling with his monkey trumpet in an unwanted display of affection.  Haven't trusted one since and don't plan to in the near future. They're limited to 12 pieces and I don't recommend taking your eyes off of them.

    The next release is sold completely blind.  What will you get?  I have no idea as I'm the last to find out anything.  There are two sculpts involved with 6 possible variants that will total 50 pieces all together.  Go on, take a gamble and then show us all what you got because I'm really nosey.

     Everything goes up for sale today (Friday, July 26) at 5pm eastern time at this link.  

      

Mike Fudge's KUB OG Edition Preorder from UVD Toys

    This dude would have instantly died if he had walked out of the house wearing this last week in New Jersey.  The heat would have turned his internal organs into a simmering, probably not so good tasting, soup and his eyes would have popped out of his head like the timer on a Butterball turkey.  I'm not even exaggerating that.  A few years ago we had an intense heat wave going and I had the bright idea for the wife and I to spend the day in Philadelphia.  Now country heat and city heat are two different animals, as what is survivable away from civilization is usually intolerable around concrete and buildings.  So there we are, roasting away like two old chickens when we come across a man wrapped up in a Jeff Gordon comforter.  We're talking wrapped up like a discarded mummy, as in you couldn't see his head nor feet.  This human sized burrito is just laying on the grass by a parking lot with tons of people walking by not even noticing him.  Meanwhile we're both looking for any signs of movement this Nascar blankie is trying to show us and we see nothing.  Either someone has discarded a dead body right off of South Street, or this person has entered a comatose state awaiting cooler weather.  We go back and forth, whether I should nudge him with my foot or whether we should call the police.  I decided not to do the former because what if he was totally okay and then I had to buy him cigarettes for waking him up, so we cross the street and alert someone at a local business so they can call the proper authorities.  (Maybe this was more than a few years ago as neither one of us had cell phones at the time).  We go about our business and ten minutes later we hear all kinds of sirens and police activity, but by the time we got back to the spot where the person was everyone, including him, was gone.  To this day we have no idea whether the person was saved or whether tons of tourists ignored a corpse as they enjoyed their vacations.  

     Mike Fudge's KUB OG edition may not be a summer weather lover, but this 7 inch vinyl figure is ready to bring the chill vibes to your home.  In fact, he is so chill he might save you money on your electric bill by allowing you to turn that ac off, though UVD Toys makes no claims to the validity of that statement.  And being that this is a preorder he won't ship out until fall, but with only 150 pieces of this version being made available, you won't want to wait until a whole nother season to order him.  Get your $75 ready and pay a visit to www.uvdtoys.storenvy.com to secure yours.