iBoy Designer Toy Kickstarter from Classicbot

   I've spent this first week of isolation doing a lot of art projects and writing a lot for a bigger story I've been working on.  Basically I'm just trying to put a silver lining on all of this craziness that has become our normal for the foreseeable future.  My wife and I have also done a fair amount of house cleaning, which has been interesting to say the least.  For one, I will never understand how we have a full sized trash can worth of socks but I am never able to find them when I want them.  One load of laundry was nearly all socks but I can almost guarantee you by June I will be in the store buying another pack because they have disappeared.  The second thing that is weird is determining what we own that could be worth selling in a pinch.  I have a ton of local crew shirts from various bands whose shows I've worked over the years that I will never wear but refuse to just give away.  They're like the ultimate limited edition merch item and I keep telling myself I'll put them on eBay but instead they're in a box that I will discover some time later and be surprised about.  You want a Kid Rock shirt with Sanford and Son on it?  I got one and I'm not proud of it.

    Sadly as we dug through the layers of our hoard I did not find any original iPods in their unopened packaging, because those things are worth a small fortune now.  Classicbot can't make up for the fact that I didn't see those things becoming more valuable than gold, but he can sell me one of his iBoy figures to ease the pain.

    If Stephen King taught a young me anything, it was to be weary of any inanimate object at all times because they are one short story away from trying to kill you.  This dude looks like a pretty chill guy; just barely enough to calm some of my irrational fears. There are 20 days left on the Kickstarter for this anthropamorphic blast from the not so distant past, but the good news is he is already funded so your figure is guaranteed.  Check out the campaign at this link. 

Kaaarg Glow in the Dark Debut from Jeff Lamm x Clutter Magazine

     Sharon and I are on day three of our shelter at home order and the cats have begun to get suspicious.   I would bet my hard earned money when we're not home that the majority of their day consists of taking the best naps that anyone has ever known.  But now their day consists of staring at us all the time wondering why we would dare interrupt the routines that they hold dear.  I think they enjoy it somewhat, especially as a few of them are all about getting our attention, but the others just seems confused as to what to do.  Are they feeling some obligation to entertain us? Are they worried that we have lost our jobs and thus the ability to feed them? Now I'm starting to think their licks of endearment are their attempts to determine which parts of us to eat first.

    There are lots of things to do while in isolation that sound way more fun than being devoured by five confused felines.  How about doing some shopping? Jeff Lamm and Clutter Magazine have now introduced a killer collaboration by the name of Kaaarg, who you may recognize from the inaugural Five Points Festival poster.  This sofubi chunky boi stands eight inches tall, features five points of articulation, and even has an exposed brain that you can poke and peod as you see fit.  Limited to only 30 pieces in this debut glow in the dark edition, you can snag one for yourself by visiting shop.cluttermagazine.com.  

Sofubi Shamrock Stroll from SpankyStokes x Toy Art Gallery

    We are living in weird times, my friends, but no matter how strange things get people will always find a way to enjoy themselves.  While the bars might have been shut down for St. Patrick's Day, folks from all over the world utilized technology to share a drink with friends and strangers alike.  I'm sure amongst the good cheer and socially distant revelry there was more than one laptop completely ruined by the effects of over indulgence, but have any of you truly lived if you have not cleaned vomit from the keyboard of a MacBook?  From what I understand we'll have a lot of time on our hands to ponder that and more of life's most pressing questions.

     Inspired by the holiday the celebrates a man who really wasn't a fan of snakes, SpankyStokes and Toy Art Gallery have released the latest version of their sofubi Stroll figure.  The mascot for one of the longest running toy blogs in the world stands 8 inches tall, is cast in translucent green vinyl and is filled with green metallic tinsel to give it an extra dose of sparkle.  We could all use a little luck of the Irish right now and this massive dose of it can be yours for $85 by visiting www.toyartgallery.com.  

The Final Semi Korosiya Release Ever from Cop A Squat Toys

       Have you possibly been living under a rock, taking an extended nap, or just spending your money on dumb stuff like electricity or court fines, then you may have missed out on purchasing a Semi Korosiya figure.  Whatever your excuse may be you are now being given the opportunity to make things right.  Cop A Squat Toys is waiving good bye to their flagship figure with one final release tonight, March 10th, at 10pm eastern time.  Only 13 of these will be available and each will retail for $75 each plus shipping.  Let's give this figure the proper send off it deserves as it moves on to a life of retirement at some beach side resort, sipping on colorful drinks with umbrellas and creeping on scantily clad coeds.

https://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com

Shub Grub Sofubi Debut from Wonder Goblin

 

    This figure has me torn, because worms are fun, especially the parasitic variety that I try and convince people they have, but so is the otherworldly-ness that this toy clearly evokes.  Do I talk about the dangers of undercooked fish or do I go with the mysterious Lovecraftian creatures that call the darkness home and wish nothing more than to turn our minds to mush?  Never mind, inspiration has struck in superbly grotesque fashion: hydatid cysts.

   Combining the best of both aforementioned worlds, hydatid cysts are sacs that grow in your brain due to the presence of tape worm babies.  They're just in their swimming around in a nausea-inducing sauna that puts all sorts of pressure on your brain and makes you miserable.  If you really want to have a good time you should look up videos of them being surgically removed as the doctors have to do their best not to break them open and unleash those worm babies in your skull.  Anybody else hungry?

     Wonder Goblin is releasing the debut of his Shub Grub figure via lottery system tomorrow (Saturday, March 7th) at noon eastern time.  This version glows in the dark and under black light, is limited to 30 pieces, and priced at $50 each plus shipping.  If this is just the larval stage, a fully grown one might be too much for our reptile brains to comprehend.

https://www.wondergoblin.com

Emerald Green Sofubi Borealis Kid and More from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

     Not far from where I live there was a very specific collector who had decorated his front lawn with the objects of his affection. He was in love with glass insulators from power lines, which you've probably passed by in an antique store without paying much attention to. This man was so into them that he built utility pole- like structures around his property to display the thousands of them that he owned. Ranging from completely clear to a rich Pine Barrens green, they stood as a unique display that invited people to pull their cars over and gaze at the depths that the love for collecting can take us. Sadly he passed away and I believe the house was sold to someone who didn't appreciate them the way he did.  They were subsequently removed, leaving the drive down that particular stretch of road way a lot less interesting.

    The Insulator House is the first thing that came to mind when I saw Splurrt's latest update to his popular Cadaver Kid figure. Featuring a new head and arms, the Borealis Kid's melon and clear green vinyl are reminiscent of those relics of our country's infrastructure. Of course, when you have a color this amazing you don't limit its use to just one figure, so he also made a set of his Dokuro Pocket Monsters available in the same hue. These will be exclusively available from Lulubell Toys this Saturday, March 7th, at 9am pacific time. Each is limited to just 1 per household, so you will unfortunately have to find another way to decorate your lawn.

https://lulubelltoys.com

Mossy the Moss Spirit from Strangecat Toys x Mumbot

     Growing up in Virginia there were always huge forests to walk in and it remains one of my favorite things to do.  I was probably 13 or so at the time and had just gotten in an argument with my parents, so a walk through the woods seemed like a good idea to clear my head.  I was gone for hours with no real intention other than to ignore my home life and explore what the natural world had to offer.  After some time I came to the remnants of an old house, which was little more than the outline of a foundation, a fire place, and a scattering of metal utensils buried under piles of leaves that I disturbed with a sweep of my foot.  I sat there for a little while, wondering about the people who must have lived there when I noticed a small cemetery just a short distance away.  There, in the literal middle of nowhere, was a smattering of headstones with various degrees of legibility.  I have forgotten what they said a long time ago, but I’ll never forget the sad feeling that they were so well hidden that no one would ever come to visit them.  Now as I’ve gotten older the thought of such peacefulness (not the dead part, mind you) sounds like the most wonderful thing on Earth.  It’s all about perspective.

    Of course no one is ever truly alone in the woods, as there are numerous sets of eyes taking a great interest in you at all times.  Many you would recognize, but what about others that are even better at hiding than the shyest raccoon?  Introducing Mossy the Moss Spirit from Mumbot.  Now I’ve never seen anything like this roaming around, but it wouldn’t upset me if I did.  Strangecat Toys has produced this nearly 5 inch figure in vinyl and are offering up this debut version right now through their website.  Start building your own magical dream forest now by visiting www.strangecattoys.com.