Gizzard Mutant Chicken Kaiju from Figurehead Vinyl

 

    I used to live in Virginia, more specifically the Eastern Shore area.  It's a peninsula that you would assume is part of Maryland if you were looking at a map and is known more to people as the place they drove through to get to Virginia Beach from the north.  As you're passing by on a hot summer day and are unlucky enough to not have air conditioning, you will be assaulted multiple times by the smells of chicken farms and processing plants.  The factories are a mixture of raw bird parts and that special juice that leaks from the back of garbage trucks.  In the world of odors, they are merely offensive and certainly not something you would go out of your way to experience.  The places they raise the actual chickens, however, emit a brand of funk that should be arrested and charged with attempted murder.  Those birds that are destined for a bucket of original recipe expell noxious droppings that will make you wish for the delicate bouquet of week old corpse just to clear your palate.  I grew up near it and it still inspires me to expel my guts when I get a whiff.  Anybody down for 25 cent wing night?

    Miscreation Toys and NastyPLT have teamed up to form a new endeavor known as Figurehead Vinyl and their first release is the mutant chicken, Gizzard.  You don't have to worry about what sauce will pair best with your nuggets because Gizzard will be dunking you in his favorite flavors .  Standing ten and a half inches tall and featuring removable bulging eyes and a little bird omake, this freak of nature is available now for $145 by visiting https://figureheadvinyl.bigcartel.com/.  Might wanna hide that air fryer before he shows up in the mail.

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Evil Ape Fink from MCA x UVD Toys

 

   No need to wrap this Evil Ape Fink in an emergency blanket, because though he looks a little hypothermic he is in fact living his best life.  Though not at smart as Dr. Manhattan and maybe slightly less adorable than a Smurf, he's loading up on potassium and looking for a good time. And I heard they're making an Avatar sequel, so I'm sure he could get some work as an extra.  Fun fact:  I may be the only person alive to have never seen Avatar  nor do I have any desire too.  It's been too long and I've already moved on, kinda like when a band releases an album before I decided to pick up their previous one.  I can't just go and get the old one now, it make me feel weird.  

  MCA's signature character returns in his third iteration for UVD Toys, this time as a Tenacious Toys exclusive.  Limited to 100 pieces, this four inch vinyl figure will be available starting Thursday, September 10th at noon est.  You can welcome him into your life for $60 only at www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Cthulhu Idol Soft Vinyl Debut from The Cryptocurium

 

    Ol H.P. Lovecraft never lived long enough to see his work become as insanely influential as it did, and while any mention of him now almost requires you to denounce who he was as a person, it's hard to picture so much of what many of us love without his stories.  His greatest creation was the slumbering god Cthulhu, who lies at the bottom of the ocean waiting for the moment when he will rise and drive humanity to madness.  He is secretly who you've all been praying to when you've been hoping for 2020 to end already, so don't be surprised when he takes you quite literally.  You have to be careful what you ask for when you're within earshot of the old ones, as sarcasm wasn't a thing until long after their prominence.  

    The Cryptocurium makes some of the best resin figures out there featuring horror films, halloween, and of course Mr. Lovecraft.  This is their first foray into the world of soft vinyl and nothing would be a more appropriate debut then a story accurate statue of Cthulhu himself.  Available in a blank translucent green and as a tri colored glow in the dark marble, they will retail for $55 and $75 respectively, or a special price of $110 for both.  They'll be up for grabs today, Friday the 28th, at 6pm eastern time at this link.    

Vote for Me in the Clutter Magazine Canbot Competition

 

    The most important vote in any American's life is coming up in November, but that doesn't mean you can't get a jumpstart on democracy right now.  Clutter Magazine is holding a design competition right now to be a part of the first ever Canbot blind box series and I have two designs up for vote.  You can see pictures of them below and I would love it for you to help me out by visiting www.cluttermagazine.com and voting for the one you like best.  You can vote once per day, which is the perfect thing for you to do while you're hiding in the bathroom at work.  

Rotofugi Exclusive Evil Ape Fink from MCA x UVD Toys

 

    I always find it funny when I go into a major chain store that sells toys and something will be marked "limited edition" and their idea of limited is that 15,000 of them exist.  Fifteen thousand!  Nope, if you want limited, 50 is way more like it.  That means you and 49 other people around the world are in a special club and are the only ones able to enjoy the feeling that owning a special figure offers.  Of course I myself never buy anything strictly by how rare it is, but it is a nice bonus.  It's like being the caretaker of a sacred object that you were entrusted with by an ancient god and then you absorb its powers and become the only one that can stop an evil doer from realizing his dream of global domination.  Yup, it's just like that.

    I didn't just pull the number 50 out of thin air in the paragraph above, as it is the actual amount of exclusive Evil Ape Finks that Rotofugi will have on sale this Monday.  This is the second colorway of the figure from MCA and UVD Toys and the only place to get them when they become available August 17th at 10am central time will be www.rotofugi.com.  

Space Diesel Edition Budfoot from Wondergoblin

   The legalization of recreational marijuana in New Jersey will be on this year's presidential election ballot and I cannot wait to vote "yes".  My vote has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the public at large who need something to calm their damn nerves.  I was hoping that they would just push legislation through during the pandemic, because people are driving me insane with their amplified brand of crazy.  Dealing with the public has been a challenge and things would be so much easier for everyone if they ate some electric brownies and watched a Twilight Zone marathon instead of them trying to educate me with their bunk science about the virus when they know good and well the last thing they read by a doctor was Green Eggs and Ham. I'm triggered.

    Let Budfoot lead the way to inner peace and a mindfulness of the world around you.  Or just let him get you lifted so you forget about the turd show 2020 has turned out to be.  Either way, Wondergoblin's gigantic weed god has gotten all cosmic in this latest version.  He features paint that shifts between purple and blue which you probably won't sit and stare at for hours on end as you contemplate your place in the vastness of the universe.  Available this Saturday (August 8) at noon eastern time, he can be your new spirit guide for $200 plus shipping.  Snag one at www.wondergoblin.com

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Cotton Candy Ghostbear from Luke Chueh x Munky King

    I find myself thankful for the little things in this challenging world we live in.  I'm thankful for the monarch butterflies whose caterpillars I get to watch grow up as the devour our milkweed.  I'm thankful that wearing a mask has let me be completely unconcerned with whether or not I have crumbs stuck in my beard after lunch.  And I'm thankful that my house is not haunted by freeloading ghosts who think just because they're dead they don't have to pay rent.  The last thing I need is some spectral form waking me up in the middle of the night by flickering my lights and thinking that electricity doesn't cost money.  I don't know what marketable skills you have once you cross over, but if you're going to disrupt my household you better contribute.  Now I would certainly accept being haunted by any ghost that wants to clean in exchange for room and board.  How great would that be?  You come home from a long day at work and you can relax because the dead Victorian lady did all of the chores while you were out.  If any dead Victorian ladies are reading this I am currently hiring.

   Luke Chueh and Munky King have released a bunch of these vinyl Ghost Bear figures, but none have looked so delicious.  This Cotton Candy edition stands at two and a half inches tall and is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  And while it may not sweep up or torment your enemies, this guy will add some color to your collection while signaling that you are a friend to all wandering spirits.  You can get one for yourself for only $30 when they go on sale tomorrow,  August 7th, at noon eastern time from www.tenacioustoys.com.