An Onslaught of Intergalactic Sloths from Cop A Squat Toys

      

     Space freaks me out a little.  Not the idea that's it's there our that its infinite (please brain, do not contemplate that idea) but more or less that I don't want to go and realize I can't turn around and come back.  It's so difficult to get there that if I decide it's not for me after all I am completely stuck until whenever the return trip might be.  I've had this experience the few times I conned myself into getting on a roller coaster and the only thing that saved me from a fatal panic attack was that the ride ended after five minutes and whoever I was with bought me a present for my reluctant bravery.  I am not about to go to space and embarrass myself the way I almost did on the Scooby Doo roller coaster at King's Dominion.  

    There are many times, such as you might have guessed in the first paragraph, that the calm and collected demeanor of the sloth would come in handy for me.  The Sekijun from Cop A Squat Toys exudes a cool confidence needed for space travel.  Well at least his sloth persona does, as his alternate Stalagmite head has a level of distress I'm more familiar with.  There are three sets of five figures, with one of those being completely unique one off versions.  Bring some zen into your life when they go on sale this Saturday (February 20) at noon eastern time only from https://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/.  Each comes with the aforementioned alternate head so you can change them based on your mood, or you could just leave it as a weird serial killer trophy.   That's probably what you'll do, you sicko.  

Review: Shin-Cookiezilla from Bottleneck Gallery x Gabriel Marquez

    I can unequivocally, without question, assure you that this is the most ridiculously awesome thing I own.  Equal parts bad ass and absurd, Gabriel Marquez and Bottleneck Gallery have created the weirdest figure I have in my collection.  I love Shin Godzilla, and while my big takeaway from the movie was that a lot of bureaucracy is involved when responding to a giant murder lizard, I never would have connected him to everyone's favorite diabetic Muppet.  Luckily, I didn't have to do the hard work and just get to enjoy the end results.  

    This thing is a behemoth in every sense of the word.  I don't know why I am surprised literally every time by a toy's size even though all of them clearly state their measurements beforehand, especially when I work with rulers every day.  He stands nearly a foot tall and is made out of resin, which make this big boy a good sized piece of plastic.  It's been a long time since I've gotten a toy that could double as a weapon, and one well placed smack would be deadlier than any can of Twisted Tea.  

    Despite being a figure that doesn't take itself too seriously, the amount of detail packed into this thing is astounding.  We're talking a full on, high end, movie quality sculpt that would rival any official Shin Godzilla release.  I love the pose of his little arms, like he's beyond frustrated that his local store already sold out of the Lady Gaga Oreo's before he could get there.  There's so much pain, so much longing, so much hell that's about to be unleashed on whoever bought all the limited edition cookies.  

    By far though my favorite detail, which borders hilarity and night terror-inducing, is the face of Grover on his tail.  I don't know whether to laugh or to cover it with a blanket while I sleep, though I suppose neither is the wrong answer.  

    If you were unlucky enough to miss out on these fear not, because Bottleneck Gallery held some back for a second wave. Follow them on Instagram here for more info. And they have an entirely new sculpt they're working on with Gabriel Marquez featuring everyone's favorite flying insect which will be available soon.   

    As an aside, my cats usually love photobombing my toy photos whenever I do reviews, but they all kept a healthy distance from this one.  These are the same cats that tried to punch a snake to death when it slithered in through a previously unknown hole in the wall, so I assumed nothing scared them.  My money is on Grover looking a little too untrustworthy.  

New Limited Edition Dumpster Fires from 100% Soft

   

  The year 2020 was something else, huh? And now that we're a month into 2021 it doesn't look like the magical change we hoped for is coming any time soon.  But do not despair, for every dark, evil, storm cloud has a silver lining, and silver is worth a lot of money if you have enough of it. See, things are getting better already!

    100% Soft created the perfect toy in response to the nonsense that was last year and he has just released two new limited versions so we can continue to celebrate the never ending smolder. There's one for Valentine's Day with extremely non edible candy hearts, and one for the lunar new year, that may or may be filled with enough luck to get you through to brighter days.  Both are available now at https://100soft.shop/.

Buff Monster's Liberty Resin Figures and Prints

   

   Over the last four years, the standard icons of American life evoked anxiety rather than pride for me.  Add corona virus on top of the political turmoil and the term"dumpster fire" barely covered it. Things were pretty bleak, but as of this Wednesday I once again feel like there is hope in the world.  That science, and reason, and basic human decency have a chance to thrive.  And I am more than happy to help support an America-themed release that is finally something positive after such a long time where it would have been impossible to create such a work.  

    Buff Monster has gone full patriotic with this Liberty resin figure.  And he's gone big, because this beacon of freedom stands at nearly a foot tall.  Each one is made of rotocasted resin, is hand painted, and comes in a pretty sweet wooden box befitting its status.  This edition is limited to 25 unique pieces and will be available at 11am on Friday, January 22nd from www.staymelty.com.

    There will also be a limited edition screen print for those of you that still have space on your walls.  I don't know what that's like and have begun rotating our pieces like a museum.  I should really do a themed show one day, just for my wife and the cats.  But back to this print, which is is limited to only 100 copies in this 18" x 24" signed and numbered edition.  It will be available at the same time as the figures on www.staymelty.com.

Cherry Moon Garden Blind Box Series from Kathie Olivas x Brandt Peters x 1983

 

    Oh man, we made is out of 2020 and we are neck deep in the promising waters of 2021.  So far there isn't a glaring difference, but I can feel good things are gonna happen.  I even heard "Don't Stop Believing" on the way to the grocery store today and I'm so desperate for a good omen I'm taking that as one.   

   What better way to put all that yuck behind us than with the power of cute little toys!  Brandt Peters and Kathie Olivas have teamed up with 1983 to release this ultra adorable Cherry Moon Garden blind box series.  And since they're good people, if you buy a full case of figures you are guaranteed to get the entire set.  That's the kind of energy we need in these early days of 2021!!  Not only that, but if you buy a case you also get a signed "Trumpet Tea" mini print.  That's an entire set of figures and a signed print for only $125!!!!   This just took a turn into infomercial territory.  

     Of course if you're one of those people that like pain there are also individual blind boxes available for $13 each.  I don't know who hurt you, but trust me and buy the case.  It will make you happy.  Get em now at www.circusposterus.com.  

The Sad and Horrible Show at Rotofugi

    

    Damn, even for 2020 the name of this show is kinda rough.  That is until you realise it's a combination of Sad Salesman and Horrible Adorables, who are sending this year back to the hell it belongs on a wave of cuteness.  Opening this Saturday (December 19th) at Rotofugi in Chicago, there will be plenty of felt and resin abound for you to cash and carry some great art Toys for yourself or as gifts.  There is no opening reception because of Covid, so if there's something you want and you don't live in Chicago I suggest visiting previews.rotofugi.com to get a heads up on what will be available.  The piece de resistance might just be this super sick tag team figure that is completely drool worthy:

    The other day I was at work and wearing my mask like the good citizen I am and I was concentrating on repairing something and a little drool made its escape. Had my tongue sticking out and everything like I used to as a kid when I colored, so thankfully the mask spared me the embarrassment of someone seeing that.  

Mini Danger Dog Glow in the Dark Edition from Tenacious Toys

 

     Nothing makes a bad day at work better than when a customer brings their dog in.  An unexplained fire in the building is cool too, but dogs require way less interaction with the police.  I work with a guy that is vehemently against anyone bringing anything other than a service animal in because he hates fun and something about allergies, blah, blah, blah.  The day I put his inability to breathe over my personal happiness will be a sad day indeed, so if you leave your puppy in the car you better be ready to march back out there to get it.  

     Tenacious Toys has arguably the most famous mascot of any designer toy store and now he's available in little vinyl nuggets that are super affordable and are perfect for filling in those pesky empty spaces in your collection.  This version is glow in the dark and you can rest assure it will be followed up by many different color combos.  What's also very cool about these 2.25 inch figured is that they were made in America by Mile High Sofubi, who as far as I know are the only ones in this country doing that type of work.  

     These are available now for $15 only from www.tenacioustoys.com.