Death Gnasher from Miscreation Toys

  

   I'm not sure if all couples do this, but I like to play a game with my wife I call "Would You Still Love Me If..." where I come up with the most outlandish things that could happen to me and then ask if she could live with it. It's nothing bad like voting republican, or listening to an entire U2 album, just harmless stuff like if for some crazy reason I woke up and had a golden retriever as an arm. You know, the basic things you worry about. My favorite though is what if I all of a sudden had no lips. Just a big, toothy forever grin that I can't explain. Then I pull my lips back as far as I can and try to get her to kiss me so she can work through any anxiety it may give her, which is usually the point she stops speaking to me. Not really sure why I'm the bad guy, but that's how it goes.

    Miscreation Toys has a brand new figure called Death Gnasher, who just so happens to be faced with the very lack of lips scenario I just described. Admittedly he has a few other issues that may prevent him from a happy marriage, like the exposed organs thing.  This ten inch tall horror show is going to be available begining this Saturday, January 29 at 3pm est and will come in two different versions.  There will be an unpainted flesh colored vinyl (limited to 25 pieces) for $155, and a Miscreated painted version (limited to 15 pieces) for $249.  They can be purchased by visiting https://www.miscreationtoys.net/.

Epic Review Time: Shin Eyezon from Max Toy Co

 

    Oh, it has been a minute since I've posted and even longer since I did one of my regionally famous toy reviews.  There's no better way I can think of to kick of 2022 then by telling you all about the brand new Shin Eyezon from Max Toy Co.  

   What exactly is Eyezon?  Is he a giant, mutated potato, not content to merely fade into oblivion beneath the cupboard of life?  Is he the product of our hubris in trying to push the limits of science beyond their ethical limits?  While that answer alludes me, what I can tell you is that his latest incarnation is by far my favorite ever.

    I have a long history with this figure, we'll not this particular one, but one of his much smaller versions, as it was the first ever official Japanese sofubi figure I ever bought.  It was from a small basement shop in Baltimore and he had an entire box full of Max Toy figures still bagged with their header cards.  I ended up with quite a few of them, but the first one I fell absolutely in love with was this yellow tuber that would be an optometrist's nightmare.  

    Fast forward to this past year when a box shows up at my door containing this beauty:

    Designed by artist Sophie Campbell, this newest mutation is the direct cousin of Shin Godzilla; a gnarlier, more horror-based version of everyone's favorite kaiju.  Shin Eyezon follows suit with an insane amount of detail courtesy of sculptor Beth Graves, who has packed in enough nuance to this figure that it looks like it may keep evolving on your shelf.  This is certainly not an adorable, misunderstood monster whose mere size causes his intentions to be cloudy.  No, this one is going to destroy everything and everyone in its path because all it knows is evil.

  

    You might be looking at the pictures I've taken and been thoroughly impressed by the composition, or my eye for the perfect artistic shot, but you may also be asking yourself just what color this figure happens to be.  That's an interesting question because this particular version is cast with a crazy technique that makes the vinyl change color.  There isn't any paint on it at all, it's all the plastic itself.  Depending on how you look at it you'll notice it shift between metallica copper and purple, which could keep you busy for quite awhile if you're in one of those states where certain recreational plants were just made legal. Or so I hear (my mom might read this). 

     Surprisingly there are still a couple of these available at https://www.maxtoyco.com/ , which blows my mind because this is definitely one of my toy highlights of 2021. 

Where's My Ship? Resin Figure from EPSW x Tenacious Toys

  

  If you work anywhere that sells goods to people then you have undoubtedly more than once been forced to explain supply chain issues.  The great thing about it was that the news constantly covered it, so while folks weren't happy, they instantly understood why the specific thing they wanted was impossible to find.  It was such a good excuse that I started using it for everything else.  If I forgot to text you back: supply chain.  If you needed me to take out the trash and I instead watched ASMR videos on Youtube: supply chain.  Oh you needed to borrow some money to pay your court fines?  Sorry my dude, supply chain issues.  

    While those cargo ships filled with consumer goods actually didn't have anything to do with my forgetfulness or my desire to be lazy, they are something we will all remember from 2021.  Unless we don't because, you know, supply chain.  Fear not though, because the best way to feel nostalgic is to buy something to help trigger those memories.  EPSW is releasing a limited edition resin container ship via Tenacious Toys so we can forever memorialize the cluster that surrounded ports around the world.  This four inch boat comes with removable containers and is attached to a blister card just like all your favorite action figures from years past.  These are limited to only 50 pieces and will go on sale tomorrow, Thursday, December 9 at 1pm eastern time at www.tenacioustoys.com.   

You Sleigh Me Kickstarter from The Bots

 

    My wife was in the liquor store the other day, and was waited on by an elderly gentleman who rarely ever says anything beyond "hello" and "thank you".  Being that it was the day after Thanksgiving he got extra chatty and wanted to know whether or not she had a good holiday and how she spent it.  She told him that we went to her parents house for dinner and that's when he looked at her a bit puzzled and said "your parents are still alive?"  It was then that she realized that even with her mask on he has never once asked for her ID.  He thought that she was not only old enough to drink, but that it would be impossible for those that created her to still be among the living. Naturally when she tells me the story I die laughing because she is only 42 and looks like she's at most 30. I tried to tell her that he skin is very youthful and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs would surely want it for his dress making business, but somehow that didn't help.  She's so modest.

    If you also have family or friends that are still alive then you might be interested in mixing things up a bit and playing a board game. And what better game would their be to play than one that also combines your love for vinyl Toys.  The Bots have just launched a Kickstarter for their brand new game You Sleigh Me, and you can be involved in making it a reality.  There are a bunch of different reward levels and some that even include their lump of Coal toy (and a first shot at the new Burning Ember colorway).  Check out this link  to be the hit of your next gathering. 

Villian Show from Stormy Vault This Saturday on Facebook

     

    Heroes are stupid.  You know it, I know it, everybody out there knows it.  Villains are the driving force of any good story and most of the time are the most compelling characters.  And heroes wouldn't even exist without the bad guys, but the same is not true in reverse.  If Batman had been a thing without all the lunatics having a ball in Gotham City then he would just be some dude with too much money and unchecked mental illness.  Villains give otherwise boring people a reason to get up and fight every morning at it's high time they got the credit they deserved.  Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

   This Saturday, November 20th at 8pm eastern time, Stormy Vault will be celebrating all things sinister. You can see their virtual Villians Show live on Facebook featuring tons of customs and exclusives from some of your favorite artists.  Click on this link here to take part.  

The Debut of Andrew Heath's Frozen Culture from 3DRetro at DesignerCon

   I'm a brave man, but I don't know that I'm brave enough for blind bagged food.  My particular brand of bravery lies firmly in the areas of relocating an unwanted snake, or taking a look at a wound and giving my opinion on whether it's infected or not.  But grabbing a blank package, with no idea what the contents are inside, and commiting to eating whatever it is scares me more than explaining technology to the elderly.  The stories I could tell you about that are too numerous and horrifying for this post.

   Thankfully, as delicious as Andrew Heath's Frozen Culture toys may look, their flavor is of absolutely no concern to me or you.  That's because these officially licensed Back to the Future vinyls are strictly for collecting and not eating.  There's seven different versions to acquire and they are sold blind bagged, so each one is a surprise.  There's also a collection of pins and prints with everything debuting at this weekend's DesignerCon from 3DRetro's booth number 405.  If you buy enough of them Ben might let you drive his Delorean, but probably not.  

DirtyTrooper "Bullheaded" from Brian Viveros x 3DRetro

 

     3DRetro does not want me to be financially stable.  They have declared war on my wallet, fired shots at my credit score, and will not rest until I have to make what looks like the inevitable choice of food or figures.  I mean, I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, but that's entirely not the point.  

    I'm not good at spending money and earlier this year I had to convince myself to purchase the beyond amazing vulture toy they did with Camille Rose Garcia.  Since it has become the literal center piece of my collection (it's freakin huge) I can't imagine life without it.  And I don't want to have to think about living without this beauty from Brian Viveros.  

   "Bulheaded" from Brian Viveros will be making her debut this weekend at DesignerCon in California, so attendees will get their first shot at owning one.  Though fear not, because the rest of us will have a chance as well and the extra time just gives you the ability to sell some plasma and make some room on your credit card.  They'll be at 3DRetro's booth number 405 and make the perfect gift for your favorite toy blogger this holiday season.  That's me...I'm your favorite.