The Brute Low Poly Viking from Jona Dinges x VTSS Toys

    There can never be enough Viking toys out there.  That's not even my opinion, that's pure fact.  So many people in the toy world are inspired by Asian Art, or graphitti, or drug abuse, but Nordic art is sorely under represented.  And it's not like the Vikings weren't creating some beautiful work in between cracking skulls and looting monasteries, it's just people are way more into violence than wood carving.

    Not that this guy was inspired by anything the Vikings created as much as he was their very essence of awesome, but it's still a step closer.  I love this figure drom Jona Dinges x VTSS Toys and if you've got $220 laying around you can love it in person in your own house.  They only made 50 and they should be available today at http://www.vtsstotoys.com.  

What if Mr. T and the TMNT Had a Baby? Dead Greedy Has the Answer For You

    The scenario I described in the title of this post of course would depend on there being female ninja turtles, which is a spin off series I'm shocked no one has done yet.  It would be the perfect plan for Shredder to create chick turtles, thus distracting our heroes long enough to take over the world to the point that there's nothing they could do.  I am really underutilizing my skills as an evil genius.

    My man Dead Greedy is so far ahead of the game though, cause he already had Mr. T swoop in and  woo the green right off of one of those turtle ladies with the promise of gold chains and massive amounts of the pitying of fools.  At this very moment you could snag yourself one of those mini Mr. TMNT in the color of your choice for $20, or get one of each (that's five total) for $75.  Or you could go much bigger, and get a sweet carded version painted up like Michelangelo for $50.  Take a gander at the madness over at http://www.shop.craptasticplastic.com/main.sc. 

Micro Nyagira Custom Series Available Now from Max Toy Co.

    Sharon and I recently took her parents and our niece to a local no-kill animal shelter because they have what is probably the greatest amusement park ride in history.  There's this series of three rooms that house all of the cats that are adoptable and the ones that will live there forever based on various reasons.  The place is wall to wall free roaming cats with a few lawn chairs right smack in the middle.  You go in, you sit down, and you are instantly covered in a mound of kitty snuggles.  I dare Six Flags to come up with anything better.  

    My own house is beyond capacity in the amount of fuzzy friends it already holds, so we have sworn an oath to only welcome plastic kitties in for the time being.  This Micro Niagara custom from Max Toy Company seems to fit that bill quite well.  Hand painted by Mark Nagata in an edition of only 14, there are still a few left over at http://www.maxtoyco.com for $30 each.  

The Christmas Dunny Has Returned Courtesy of Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    I'm a sucker for a good theme.  Even though the food is usually terrible I love a good themed restaurant and have eaten at Planet Hollywood, The Hard Rock Cafe, and even the WWE joint when that was still a thing in Times Square, just to be able to see the decor.  How can you not love an excessive display of grandeur all made in an attempt to make you eat otherwise unpalatable food?  I had my own idea for a theme restaurant once, but it was all based on the employees.  I wanted everyone that worked there to constantly be involved in dramatic situations throughout their shifts.  One server would pretend to have a nervous breakdown, two more would get into a verbal altercation, maybe another would fake an amputation at the hand of a deli slicer.  I'm nosey and I figure lots of other people are too, and what better way to enjoy a good meal than have a bit craziness thrown in.  For some reason Gordon Ramsey won't return my calls looking for an investment.  

    What was the point of all that again?  Oh yeah, I love themes, and it broke my heart last year when Kidrobot didn't release a Christmas Dunny.  Ok, that might be over selling it, but I do look forward to them every year which is why I was excited to find out that Frank Kozik's little elf buddy you see there will be released in time for the holidays.  myplasticheart broke the news last night on Instagram and is now taking preorders for these, with more stores sure to be following suit.  Now if I can just convince them to release a Dunny for Leif Erikson Day.  

The Minatorg Resin figure from BOObotcher x Forces of Dorkness Available Now!!!!!

    Let's all take a moment to give my boy Theseus some credit.  First and foremost, you wouldn't catch me skulking around a pitch-black labyrinth.  I always think how cool it would be to explore the abandoned place in Philadelphia, but I am way overdue for my tetanus booster.  Secondly, there's the Minotaur to contend with, who is like the ancient version of a crackhead armed with hepatitis needles.   You stumble upon that bro, and it's a trip to the emergency room and blood tests every six months.  So I give much respect for Theseus for being the ultimate explorer/monster killer.  I really should rewrite all of the Greek myths with a more urban so the kids of today could truly appreciate them.  I'm gonna call it "Straight Outta Athens".  

     As if a giant man-bull lurking in the dark wasn't enough to scare the crap out of you, what about one that's gone full Terminator?  The Minatorg from BOObotcher and Forces Of Dorkness could definitely have a place in my book, what with his giant arm cannon thingy and overall menacing look.  This is the first version of this collaborative figure, cast in translucent red resin, standing 4 and 1/2 inches tall and available right now for only $25 bagged with a header card.  Snag this updated nightmare of mythology by visiting http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com/

Battle Cat Trophy Sculpture from Pretty in Plastic

    When I was little I used to keep a notebook filled with all the ridiculous things I would buy if I was stupid rich.  Most of the stuff involved was from the JCPenny or Sears Christmas catalogs, but times were hard and no one had the internet in their house yet, so you have to work with what ya got.  And I kept things real specific too, just in case when I got stupid rich my memory wasn't as bangin as my bank account.  All item details were on the left of the page, with the prices on the right.  I also accounted for Virginia sales tax cause I didn't want to come up short on my imaginary spending spree.  Now that I see this I almost wish I was still keeping up with my stupid rich notebook, or at least stupid rich so I could skip the whole recording process and just buy this sucker straight cash.

    Oh may have previously seen this sweet Battle Cat trophy head hanging up in Super7's San Diego location when it was transformed into Skeletor's Lair during San Diego Comic Con.  And if you did then you've probably tried to figure out how to get one for yourself ever since.  Well, Pretty In Plastic are making 10 of these beauties available and the price tag is certainly not for the faint of heart, but beyond worth it.  At $8500 each it may not fit into every budget, but just think about how jealous everyone will be when they know you have it.  How can you put a price on that kind of envy?  If you want one shoot an email over to admin@prettyinplastic.com.

    On a different note: stop hunting real animals for sport.  It doesn't make you a man to shoot a defenseless creature.  In fact, it makes you a coward.  I have no problem with people hunting to eat, but there is no reason to do so because you think its fun.  It makes me want to hurt you.

More WWE Goodness Coming from Funko

    Oh you all know I looooooooove my wrasslin.  I haven't been to an event since Sharon and I went to the Royal Rumble in January, but that wrasslin-less streak is about to be broken in a big way cause we got tickets to Summerslam!!!!!  I was already beyond psyched when they announced The Undertaker was gonna fight Brock Lesnar, but just yesterday I discovered that it's going to be a FOUR HOUR pauper view.  Usually they're all three hours except for Wrestlemania, but now we're getting an extra hour of brutality!!!!   And now that I think about it, this is probably the only thing that could last for that long that I'd ever be excited about.  Usually when I'm at work and I see there's four more hours before I can leave it takes all my will power not to shove a screw driver into my heart and swirl it around.  But if you're talking about some serious sports entertainment, I'm there the whole day.

    Do you have enough WWE Superstar Pop! Vinyls in your collection yet?  Probably not, jabroni, but Funko's gonna help you out with new ones featuring Sting, Andre the Giant, and The Bella Twins.  All of these should be available in September.

    

    And they've got these little blind boxed dudes coming out too, which I'm sure will be delayed now as they're gonna have to not only redo the packaging but pay someone to open em all and remove a certain someone who is going through a bit of controversy right now.  But enough about that, let's focus on how badly I want a little Iron Sheik figure!!!!!!!!!  Even if you're not a wrestling fan, you need to follow the Iron Sheik on every form of social media you have, cause that dude is the best thing to happen to the internet since the domestication of cats.