The Next Two Horrible Adorables Figures From Kidrobot Have Arrived

        Critter story of the week:  Sharon and I return from grocery shopping to find two chipmunks eating bird seed from below our feeder.  One was a baby and decided that it's best course of action upon seeing us would be to bunny hop each step on our porch and explore.  It was cute as hell but we were both loaded down with groceries cause we'll be damned if we'll make two trips to the car, so we kind of needed him to speed up his adventuring so he didn't really freak out and try to jump from the porch to the ground.  The bags got heavier as gravity pulled them closer to the ground and this little dude was just having the best time.  Finally we just gave up and waited till the fun ran out and he came down on his own.  I didn't say it was an epic critter story.

     Horrible Adorables and Kidrobot have released the latest two figures in their collaboration.  Expertly produced by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks, they are ready to find their forever home with you.  And all you have to do is dust them every once in a while, which is way less work than any real life pets require.  Get em now at www.kidrobot.com or wherever you prefer to buy your toys.

Celebrate Pay Day With New Releases from doubleparlour

     It's that time once again to fill your life with the bizarre, the exotic, and the esoteric courtesy of the resin stylings of doubleparlour.  Take a gander at some of the releases they will have on Friday, March 27th at noon pacific time, then direct your browser's attention to http://doubleparlour.myshopify.com to treat yourself to something nice.  Go on, you deserve it!

Josh Mayhem's Blown Away Dunny Enamel Pins

    Josh Mayhem hit a dang gone home run when he came up with his Blown Away Dunny customs.  Those things became increasingly harder to get with each release and if you don't have one I bet you wish you did.  Well, I can't help you in that department but I can help by telling you about his new enamel pins that immortalize his stroke of toy designing genius.  There's only 100 of em, and each one will come signed and numbered on the card.  You can snazz up you wardrobe when these are released Friday, May 27th at noon pacific time at www.joshmayhem.com.

Morgogg (Steel Bearing Hand) from Skinner

    It is important that when you welcome people into your home for a visit that you lay down the ground rules without the use of words, but merely through your decor.  People will try and trick you and get their mail delivered to your house and stay indefinitely without the benefit of monetary compensation, but rather than offend them with a sharp tongue I prefer to own things that will make them think that living with me would be worse than squatting in an abandoned campground.  Here's some tips that I have proven through rigorous field testing:

1)  Always keep your basement door closed and never offer to show it to anyone when you give a tour of your digs.  Yeah, you may have a sweet vintage Kiss pinball machine down there, but you also may have the mummified corpse of a gypsy who grants you wishes.  No one has ever been frightened away by Kiss pinball.

2.)  There's no such thing as owning too many skulls.

3.)  An altar on the back of your toilet to appease the child who may or may not haunt the bathtub goes a long way toward making someone wonder whether they could do their business in such an environment.  If you have two bathrooms fill the other with litter boxes.  Bonus crazy points if you don't actually have cats.    

4.)  Most importantly, collect some beastly looking toys to fill all your free space.  Make sure their wee beedy eyes are pointing at all times at the only places that guests can sit.  You'll be shocked and/or amazed at how fast they will pick up the excessive amount of suitcases they brought with them to Thanksgiving dinner and head off to search for the next sucker to take them in.  

    Skinner makes a living off of making your non toy collecting friends uncomfortable with his creations, like this dude Morgogg.  He's big, he's mean, and he looks like if he were real he would smell like a tannery.  He's pretty much perfect, and if you want to own one of em you're gonna have to send an email to criticalhit.info@gmail.com to enter the lottery for the chance to purchase.  Do it right now, cause Friday at noon Skinner is gonna send out emails to the lucky folks and you want that to be you, right?  Of course you do.  

Boshi Neko "Foofy" edition from Candie Bolton x Grody Shogun

 

    This toy is giving me mad flashbacks to back to school shopping for Trapper Keepers and trying on jeans for hours until my spirit was as chafed as my legs and being promised that I could get McDonalds if I didn't complain too much.  Do they even still make Trapper Keepers, cause those things were the best.  Except when those plastic little rings that held your papers started to wear out and wouldn't close all the way, or when you ripped one of the pockets and all your stuff would fall out.  Never mind, those things sucked.

    I don't know what kind of substances Lisa Frank needed to create her seizure inducing world of bright colors and baby animals, but you can't convince me they were made with a sober mind.  Candie Bolton has perfectly recreated that look with this Boshi Neko edition she has named after her own kitty.  It has that perfect ratio of "I'm adorable" and "I will murder you in your sleep", which is a delicate balance indeed.  These are available for preorder right now from http://www.lulubelltoys.com through June 1st or until the allotment runs out.

    

Alley Kids Enamel Pin Collection from Josh Divine

 

    Just like neck tattoos and chest length beards, enamel pins are suddenly not just for bikers.  Now they're cropping up everywhere, becoming just as collectible as the toys we all love.  So is it any surprise that the concept artist from Kidrobot is getting in on it with designs of his own?  Josh Divine (whose name sounds like he could be a professional wrestler who enters the ring to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me", which makes me kind of jealous, cause my name just sounds like it belongs in the police blotter) wants to introduce you to the Alley Kids, a collection of 12 characters that span all walks of life.  The first three to be announced include a skateboarder, a rocker chick, and a black metal dude who looks a little too happy to be that close to fire.  They are limited to 100 of each style and are available for preorder right now at http://www.alley-kids.com.  

 

Death is Coming Courtesy of Godmachine x Mighty Jaxx

   We have a cat named Jorah, who we try to keep an eye on at all times, because the moment you lose sight of him he is plotting your demise.  He's not malicious in any sense, but his manner of amusement usually ends with my wife and I debating whether or not stitches are called for.  There was a time when we thought we had maybe brought in some new species of wild cat, as all would be quiet one minute and the next he's riding our shoulders like a rodeo bull.  He's cute though, which is his saving grace.

    If I could keep an eye on any other being, Death would probably be a good choice, as he is equally prone to strike without warning.  Now Godmachine and Mighty Jaxx are giving you the chance to curb his shenanigans by inviting him into your home.  I would place that sucker right by the tv, cause that's what I spend the most time staring at.  He will be available beginning May 21st at 10am est from http://mightyjaxx.rocks.