Relic of a Jupiter Tomb by Skinner x House of Gog

 

    Anyone my age that spent their younger years watching late night television in the hopes that the scrambled version of Cinemax would come into focus just long enough to see something of interest, remembers Miss Cleo. She was the woman who looked like a lunch lady and had a convincing Jamaican accent that would implore you to call her 1-900 number so she could tell you your fortune. She was dialed into the cosmos and could see forwards, backwards, and sideways and for the low price of $3.99 per minute she'd be happy to tell you all about it. I never had the nerve to try it myself, for I was less worried about the future than I was my stepfather getting the phone bill and the ensuing hell that would cause. I did consult a fortune teller on a Jersey Shore boardwalk once like Bruce Springsteen did, and the only thing I got out of that was my debit card number stolen.

    I would be easy to convince that Skinner had a direct line to some otherworldly folks and used them as the inspiration for his work, kind of like Pickman's Model. Is he warning us about what lies beyond the veil, just waiting for their chance to inhabit our minds like fleshy Oldmobiles, or is it that the monsters have always lived deep within us and he is the only one with a torch and the bravery to light the way to their discovery? 

    Relic of a Jupiter Tomb is the latest collaboration from the visionary artist and statue makers House of Gog. Prepare to have your psyche melted like a grilled cheese sandwich at a Phish show by this one. Standing nine inches tall and featuring a removable helmet with two different faces, you get a lot of look that you can change up on a whim, or when that little voice in your head that may or may not belong to you suggests it. Limited to 300 pieces and retailing for $325, you can preorder yours on Thursdsday, December 1st at 3pm eastern time at www.houseofgog.com. 

Racks Vinyl Figure from Vandul

     By now you know I didn't win the two billion dollar Powerball lottery, because if I had I wouldn't have typed any of this. I would be busy hiring a financial team to make sure I didn't end up like those dummies who lose all their cash and go broke five years later. I'd still buy plenty of dumb stuff like a spitting cobra fountain for the drive way, but I'd like to not get evicted and that be the last thing I see as they close what used to be my electrified security gate behind me. I'd also still eat mostly chicken nuggets and Minute Rice because it's important to remember your roots and because they're the perfect food combo no matter how rich you are. 

    I'm guessing Vandul didn't win either, mainly because he didn't say anything about it on Twitter. He did however say that he's got his brand new vinyl toy dropping this Friday. Named Racks, this wad of currency is masked up and looks like he just pulled a fast one on some unsuspecting sucker. Hopefully it was a big corporation who has been robbing us blind in the name of "inflation" while reporting record profits. I digress. 

    Each figure stands six inches tall and this version is limited to 100 pieces. You can snag yours on Friday, November 11th at 1pm central time from https://vandul.co/.

Familiars and Foes Board Game Kickstarter from Horrible Adorables

 

    I haven't played a game in years before last Christmas when my niece got one that forced you to find out which person in the group was a werewolf. Everyone involved, besides her, were a little skeptical that it was gonna be corny but we reluctantly agreed to play anyway. It started off slow for a few rounds as we got a basic understanding of the rules, but by the 20th or so time we were full-on investigating people for lycanthropy like we were detectives solving a murder. Accusations were thrown about haphazardly, things from the past were brought up when weighing who had a history of stretching the truth in real life, and I got so caught up deflecting suspicion away from me that I erred by trying to cast doubt on my mother in law, who is as close to sainthood as you can get without the Pope saying so. I'm surprised I haven't been excommunicated for my error and forced to live alone in the woods. 

     Judging by the look of this new project from Horrible Adorables, the likelihood of this game erupting into a full blown family crisis seems unlikely. Familiar and Foes is a board game that takes the work of the husband and wife art duo into realms beyond your walls or shelves. Here is a rundown of the game from the creators themselves:

    Familiars and Foes is a 1 to 5 player cooperative style game. You take the role of a young spell slinging Familiar trying to rescue your witches and wizards from a horde of evil Foes. Your character begins as a base elemental Familiar (Earth, Air, Water, Fire, or Aether) and you must work to fully evolve your Familiar by completing a series of training tasks. The game is played in four waves that progressively increase in difficulty. New sets of Foes are revealed with each wave of battle that must be defeated to save your coven. The game is won when all the Foes have been defeated, all the witches and wizards have been rescued, and at least one Familiar is still standing.

   Sounds preeeetty cool, right? But, it's only cool if it becomes a reality, and that's where you come in. The project is live now on Kickstarter and is actually fairly close to being funded. That means with just an extra little push you and your friends could soon have a brand new obsession for game night. Check out this link and see all the cool rewards that are available, which include everything from the game itself, to toys, and their famous felt sculptures. 

Hammerhead Shnail from Ghost Fox Toys x Strange Cat Toys

       Do you think fish are freaked out about how little of the breathing world they've explored? We've only seen a limited amount of the ocean but they've seen even less of where we live. The only ones that make it far inland are either in aquariums or on dinner plates, so they never get to return and report what they've witnessed. Do they have these images in their heads of monstrous humans with razor teeth who are by far more frightening than the ones that they encounter? Do they share artists renditions of what they think lies beyond the beaches while they develop the technology to travel among us to further their research? Will one day a great octopus explorer walk right onto the sand with his newly constructed breathing apparatus as he Lewis and Clark's it all over the world? Do you think the township will have my water main repaired before I have to use one of those orange Home Depot buckets in a way god did not intend?  

     While I attempt to delay my lunch from becoming it's final, most powerful form, I can tell you about the first ever production figure from Ghost Fox Toys. This is a Hammerhead Shnail and it looks much like you would expect a blending of the two creatures to work out. How a Hammerhead shark and a snail fell in love and made a baby is a question for another day, though, as I've already given you plenty to think about.

 

   Strange Cat Toys wil unleash...wait...maybe "unleash" is a bit much when talking about a predator that you could just casually walk away from. OK, so they'll be debuting this vinyl toy on Saturday, September 24th at 12pm eastern time. This first colorway is know as "Sunrise Salmon" and is limited to 100 pieces. They're about 3 inches tall and will retail for $65 each from https://www.strangecattoys.com/.

Weekend Adventure Isobelle Pascha from Underverse

 

    I like to watch Project Runway because I have an unhealthy obsession with reality competition shows. I also like fashion, which not many people would guess because I only wear twenty year old heavy metal shirts and jeans. I don't necessarily like it for myself, but I like weird avant garde costume-y stuff like Alexander McQueen used to make, which is more along the lines of wearable art. Now back to Project Runway, one of my favorite parts of the show is when the designers explain who they invasion as the wearer of their garments. They often go into these elaborate explanations along the lines of "my girl is on her way to the grocery store to dispute the amount she was charged for a family sized frozen lasagna that was supposed to be on sale but rang up full price and she knows it won't taste the same until this injustice has been rectified". That's a lot of explanation for a pencil skirt, Jean Paul, but go on I guess.

    Isobelle Pascha is going on a weekend adventure and is looking mighty fierce. She's serving up looks in her skinny jeans and t-shirt that could take her from shopping for vintage finds at the flea market to brunch with her beastie. Underverse will be offering this woman on the go for preorder begining Friday, September 16th for $165, which includes world-wide shipping. She'll be available exclusively from https://underverse.com/.

Trash Kitties Series 2 from 100% Soft

  

     It's fitting that my first actual product post from my hiatus be about cats, and even more fitting it be about finding cats hanging around garbage. Sharon and I found our cat Wednesday when we were taking the trash out. Just as we go to toss the bag in out pops this little fluffy kitten from the adjacent storm drain who made a noise like Windows 95 starting up. She was so cute and without even having to discuss it I reached down, scooped her up, and we brought her in. She was all about inside life and has never made any attempt to go back outside; and she also never got any bigger, so we have no idea whether she was an actual kitten or not when we found her. 

     The strange thing too is that she has long hair and somehow managed to come out of a storm drain not covered in ick. She was completely clean, emerging like Gandalf the White from what I would have to imagine is the third filthiest place in our entire town (moving up from fourth after they closed a sketchy gentleman's club called Volcanic Eruptions that was in the same parking lot as Chuck E. Cheeses and featured competing lunch specials). 

Respect the blep 

    There are easier ways to get your own kitties that don't even require the need for an updated tetanus shot. 100% Soft has just released series 2 of thier blind boxed Trash Kitties and these mini figures come with all the cuteness of real kitties without all the responsibility. What's that, you missed out on series 1 and feel unable to move onto series 2 without starting at the begining? No worries, cause those have been restocked too. And there are special metallic chase figures to add some excitement into the mix as if there already wasn't an abundance of excitement to begin with. 

   Get em now at https://100soft.shop/.

I'm Back, Baby, or Something.

     

   A lot has happened since I stopped writing about toys. The economy has collapsed, an entire war broke out, and a trove of classified documents went missing at a golf course. At best my absence can be blamed for maybe two of those, but things have certainly been bleak. 

   In all seriousness, stepping away from writing about toys was exactly what I needed to do at the time. The majority of releases really shifted away from the type of things I was interested in design wise, and I felt like I was on a never ending cycle of helping others while neglecting my own creativity. I was the guy who could boost everyone but himself. What I've found in the months since is that a big part of my creativity, especially when it comes to my writing, needs to be worked out within some type of structure. This blog was like a prompt from a creative writing class or a daily drawing challenge that forces you to think about things you may not normally and thus kicking your muse into high gear when she may rather be taking a nap. That little voice needs constant attention or she will literally snore her way through life, only getting up to use the bathroom or check her email.

     So with that being said, this blog wasn't holding me back from living my own dreams at all, but it was actually getting my brain working in ways that was supporting my other endeavors in ways I didn't see at the time. Wow, this almost sounds like personal growth, or one of those other mentally healthy things people talk about. Yuck. Anyway, I'm back in the game, and ready for your emails about new releases.